Episode 194 - Father Brown - "The Blue Cross" - The Fanky & Father Brown’s Special Package!

Father Brown subway commercial.

John is in the shape.

Of a cross.

It's the Easter.


Hey, maniacs.

Hey, maniacs.

Welcome to Mystery Maniacs.

Mystery Maniacs is a comedy recap podcast
dedicated to mystery TV.

Each week
we dig into an episode of the show,

including the murders, the mayhem,
the loonies, and everything else we love.

This week, Father Brown.

Season one Episode ten The Blue Cross.

The Blue Cross. I'm Sarah. And I'm Mark.

And if your kids can attempt to foil
a world

renowned jewel thief while on a train,
they can probably handle this episode.

Yeah. Absolutely.

It's a train episode.

Mark is happy to do.

Hey, big news. Big.

If you subscribe to the newsletter,
you already know this,

but if you don't, we're
laying down the tea for you right now.

This is our last episode of Father
Brown Season one.

What's next?

You may ask.

A little gentlemen.

We like to go war row.

With his village of gray cells
and his little mustache.

So we will be covering from 35 years ago.

Yes, 35 years ago this month. Yes. Who?

Arrow season one.

Which includes some of the greats.

there are some great episodes in here.

We already covered season
one episode one, episode six and seven.

So you'll get remixes of those.

Episodes and we've got some goodies
to go along with those remixes,

so don't miss them, including next week
on the very first episode,

which is the Clapham car
the remix is going to include.

I'm still giddy about this, an interview
that you simply will not believe

that we got. I can't.

I cannot believe we got this.

It's in the can.

So it actually happened. Yeah.

And it's amazing. Yeah.

And you guys are going to squee.

You're going to
be like, we so excited. Yeah.

But other things

included in season one,
if you haven't watched it in a while.

So yeah, we start with the clap and cook
32 times.

No, you know, that's amazing.

We get Murder in the Mews, which includes
Hastings trying to fix his car.

Yeah, which is awesome.

Four and 20 blackbirds is

our is in there
to where Perot hangs out with his dentist.

Yeah. He wants to see
is his work in action.

The triangle roads
with all of the references to pink gin.

Third floor flat with the singing.

The problem at C
which ends with the creepy doll.


Revealing the murderer the dream
where they're in the pie factory.

And the guy just says, I just shoot myself
at least 19 million times.

He says, Can I just shoot myself? Yes.

So many gems.

Yeah, every episode is awesome.

Every single one.

And we're going to have so much fun
with them.

So even though we've done a few already,

we will be remixing those
and adding some goodies to them.

Nothing as good as what
we're adding to the first one, but.

And that should they'll. Be
well worth the lesson.

That should take us into May mash

Decide what to do. Next.

We'll take some time off

because I got to do some stuff
at the end of March

and beginning of April,
but they kind of coincide

with the remix episodes too,
so you shouldn't be interrupted too much.

Now we're going to have so much fun
and I'm excited.

And we have a thing coming to Bloomington
that we cannot minimize for you guys

the fact that the sun

is going to be eclipsed
basically over our house.

Yeah. Is kind of.


I can't I can't even describe already.

It's February and already in town.

Everybody's talking about it.

They canceled classes at IU.

They did, which they never do.

And just this week I got to work
and there were these giant boxes

outside my office like,
What the heck is going on?

Like, what are these boxes?

It was 8000 pairs of eclipse

glasses that they ordered at school
to give away a.

Little little eight.

Thousand pairs.

And that's just at my school
in the university.

Never mind the rest of the camp.

As we know, remote employee

who is going to come
to Bloomington for this.

And they looked in the hotel rooms
and they were all $600 or above.

Yeah, we're in a.

Hotel room at the Hampton in the.

Days Inn was 750 and saying,
William Shatner is going to be here.

And everybody's like,
it's not going to be that big.

yeah, I'm stunned how big it is already.

And it's months away. Yeah.

And that is April eight.

Yeah. So we will.

If you don't hear from us on that day

or if

Mark, just post to Instagram
like his face with a silent scream.

You know what's happening?

The people in the foil
hats have taken over.

It's going to be crazy.

But what's crazy is we may go to the thing
at the auditorium that night,

but like the stadium,
the 86,000 seat stadium

is going to be open
for people to view it together.

Probably the largest eclipse
viewing in one single location.

Probably probably the most people
looking up at the same time.

And like
we'll probably go out in the backyard

and look at it and think, my.

God, I hope it's not cloudy that day.

I really hope it's not cloudy.

So three maniacs eclipse special?

Yes, it was cloudy.

Yeah. Yeah, overcast. Nothing to see here.

Go home.

wow. Yeah.

So we've got that craziness
coming our way.

But maybe some of you are also
in the path.

If you're in North America,
you'll be able to see it.

It's going to be exciting.

It was funny.

I went to a website
and it just happened to

it was the Noah website, and then it was
like, look at the path of the location.

And I was like, I clicked on it.

I'm like, That's my house right there.

It's Eclipse out.

All right, Are you ready to start talking
about the Blue Cross?

Yes, the Blue Cross Season one Episode
ten originally aired the 25th of January

2013, 11 years ago,
directed by Ian Barber.

Ian Barber and written by Paul
Matthew Thomas.

Think Paul,
Matthew Thomas went to boarding school.

Where do you think

people with triple barreled names
automatically go to posh private school?

I have a triple barrel name in England.

Maybe Father Browns drink and sherry
cackling at something on the radio.

So what do you think?
He's cackling on the radio?

I don't know.

I think it's the Goon Show.

Would that have been on in 53?

That Goon Show
would have absolutely been on in 53.

It started in 51.

If you don't know about The Goon Show,
it is the funniest radio show of all time.

Sure, the line includes Spike Milligan,
Harry Secombe and Peter Sellers.

I'll tell you how funny this show was.

We got a book of the scripts
in high school, and we read these

so much that two of us puked

because we were drinking pop
and we couldn't stop laughing.

I think you've mentioned that before.

It's absolutely one of my favorite things.

If you've ever heard of the nineties
band Ned's Atomic Dustbin,

they that name of that band
comes from an episode

in which Ned,
their friend, makes an atomic dustbin.


Which is fantastic because I think
it's them because they have an episode.

Unfortunately, this episode came out in
58, so it might be a little wrong.

Anachronistic. Anachronistic.

But they have an episode
in which it's called The Mountain Eaters.

And let me read the synopsis to you
so you can get a flavor of the good show.


As everyone knows,
there's only one place in the world

where you don't need a license
to eat mountain.


And that's why the famous Eccles,
who is the insatiable appetite,

who has an insatiable appetite,
is discovering at the foot of Mount,

is discovered
at the foot of Mount Everest.

How can this all be in connection

with the theft of the Mona
Lisa from the Louvre is a mystery, too,

which is very considerably
not explained in the script.

You have to be right
because they definitely say, Well,

I'm going to steal the Mona Lisa.

I need you to help me. Yeah.

So something happens

right after that that I have a big problem
with in this episode. Yes.

Somebody slips an envelope
through Father Brown's letter box. Yes.

The letter slot in his front door,
and he picks it up and he reads it.

Now, what would you do
if you were sitting ten feet away

from your letter slot
and somebody put something through

and you knew it wasn't the mailman
because it was late at night.

You would open the door right away.

Immediately you would open the door.

You see Flambeau
standing there going, Crap, You.

Know, he's just running.

Why is it?

But this happens all the time.

Yeah, in TV and movies.

Why don't people whip open the door.

When I get secret notes to the front door,
I always whip open the door

and look around.

Let's be fair.

Our front door is so far away
from anywhere you might be hanging

out, you'd never know that somebody
put something through the door.


And there are so many considerable things
in the way. Yes.

Between you and the front doors

that you'd have to jump over
and dive around and walk around.

And there's no straight path
to any place in our house.

What I don't like about the beginning,
they're like, well, it's the Blue Cross.

They say it's jewel encrusted.

It has a couple of sapphires.

And where is it?
At the start of the episode.

Just sitting in the open church.

Like in an alcove,
kind of leaned up against the side

in a church that frequently has
its doors wide open. Yes.

And if Flambeau wanted it,
he could have just taken it

and nobody would have ever known
who did it.

Yeah, it would have been gone.
And that would have been it.

He has no reason to tell Father Brown.

Like, later on, he gets an idea of what
Father Brown is, but he has no reason.

At the beginning.

I think his plan is to confront
Father Brown from the very beginning.

I think that confrontation at the end,
where Flambeau

confronts him about his father's death
in the war is his whole point.

I think that's what he's heading towards.

That's interesting.
And playing a little game with him.

In the meantime, notice.

The the candle is almost out.

How do you think they did that?

They burnt it for a while
and then blew it out.

Yeah, but like, right.

Before they shot it. Yeah, but. Okay.

Yes, I understand how candles work.

I don't know what you're asking.

I'm asking, how could they shoot that?

Have somebody blow out the candle
and then rush out of the scene?

They were behind the camera, okay.

And they went
and then they backed up. Okay.

But then they.

Usually a candle
goes out much quicker than I think.

The smoke always comes off of them way
longer than you want it to be.

Anybody's ever put one out that way.

He's breaking into all sorts of places,
including the Ashmolean.

I wonder if the Ashmolean
has actually been broken into.

Yes, okay.

It definitely has.

On an Oxford.

Yes, I have a pub full of us.

He leaves his hankie.

Yes, he. Does. Flambeaux Hankey.

With his fabulous effort on. It. Yes.

Because nobody else has the initial act.

No, it's his signature, though.

So, Flambeau,
this is the first time we meet him.

But he's a recurring character.
And we haven't.

We have to separate watching this episode
for the first time and watching it now.

Yeah, because you watch it now
and you go, let's find out what.

We know about him.

We know he's not really as bad as he seems

because he's charming
and flashy even gives him a kiss. Yes.

And a little bit more. Ha!

But that's many seasons later.

But yeah, but he's already
a well-established jewel thief.

Everybody knows of his reputation.

So when they see the Franky, the Franky,
they know that it's him When you find it.

Flambeau has been there Flambeau twice.

I'm just glad he's classy.

And it's a clean hankie.

Yes, that's. True.

The bishop shows up. Yes.

Okay, so Father Brown and Mrs.

M come out of the church
with a bunch of other people.

I would assume it's Sunday morning.

Yes. Shouldn't the bishop be in church?

Not necessarily.
Instead of driving around.

So the bishop is more
of a clerical position in terms of

they usually don't have they visit
churches on Sunday and sometimes they do.

Like sometimes we would have the bishop
come and do the service,

but sometimes the bishop would just come
and sit in the service

and sometimes it would be months
that we didn't see.

Okay, but you're proving my point.

He's either doing the service
or attending a service.

He should be in church on Sunday morning,
not out driving around.

The other thing is,
I know we are Anglican Church in Canada,

but this bishop is like high class.

He's got a driver and everything.

I can't wrap my brain around
kissing somebody's hand.

It's just another human being.

It seems incredibly weird.

I can't get my brain around.

Like the notion like, okay.

If I were him,
I wouldn't want people to do. That.

Like, like you. I understand.

If you believe in the Roman

Catholic religion,
you believe the Pope is the voice of God?

Yes. Earth? Yes. Okay.

That that I get.

I can sort of understand
if you believe in that.

Yeah. Okay.

But the bishop is one level
higher than you through

multiple levels
to get to the voice of God.

Yeah. He's nowhere near the Pope.

He's like the voice of Joe.

He's just somebody
who's been a priest longer than you.

Yeah. And is better at paperwork.

And his.

Ring. Is better political style.

Maybe I'm just too proud to do that
kind of thing.

He wants to move the cross
because of the threat to it.

But Father Browne has hidden
the cross in his drawers in his drawer.

I spent a exorbitant amount of time

staring at Father Brown's drawer
in this episode.

And what?

What is in his drawer
other than the hankie?

The cross and the letter.

Besides the hankie?

The cross In the letter is Bartholomew's
revised half inch contour maps.

Okay, so it's a book of maps.

I'll put a link in the show notes.

All these maps are online.

They're incredibly beautiful to look at.

Is it a valuable book? AUSMAT No, no.

Why would he have it in a locked door?

I do. Not.

I mean, in a drawer. Yeah,
but that's a locked drawer.

No, I do not know.

But the thing that I did notice was
he also has issue

170 of modeled railway constructor.

There's a rabbit hole here, isn't there?

So modern rabbit.

Modern rabbit hole.

Modern rabbit construction.

We've never seen Father Brown show
any interest in model railways before.

Model Railway Constructor was a monthly
British magazine about model railways.

It ran from 1934 up
until into the seventies.

And super nerds read it. It is.

Super dirty.


I mean, Trainspotting is one thing, but

getting a magazine for railway

This is like, Yeah, it is. Wow.

I read through some.

I'm sorry.

And I was like, Wow, this isn't like
they have articles, quite serious articles

and how to recreate Grass and the Village
Green and all sorts of things.

Well, they didn't have all the supplies
that we had.

No, no, they had to make all of them.

Everything was from scratch. Yes.

So the the Bishop and Valentine

team up on Father Brown,
which is not fair.

No. They're like,
we need to take it to Newbury.

We need to get it out of here.

Father Brown's like, I'll take it.

No, you don't get to take it.

They have no respect for Father Brown.

None. It's mean they go

at him.

Only a heathen would steal a holy relic.

I'm not sure this relic is all that holy.

Did you look into Great Dane fires?

Yeah, He was a Welsh abbot.

But they say that the cross has healing

Yeah, it is gold. It inspires in it. Yeah.

That much gold could heal
a lot of problems in my world. But

do you think that CAD Vale is

per somewhat related to greater fail.

Yeah. No, because there was.

Everybody was called Fail. Yeah.

There's a lot of fails in Welsh.

So Father Brown decides

he's not going to let the bishop
send this thing to Newbury.

He's going to take it himself.

He says he feels responsible for it.

He does a great nod with said, Here,
I got it hidden right.

Here under my. Hat.

And now we're onto the train portion.

We've seen this train before.

Let's move on.

So Dawson, who is Flambeaux
accomplice here? Yes.

It's pretty darn clever
in the train station

and insinuating himself into conversation
with Father Brown.

I think he pretends he doesn't
have enough money to buy the ticket.

Has a little fit. Yeah.

Just to get Father Brown's attention
so he can let Father Brown

to the front of the line
and then sit with him in the train.

It's all. Planned.

Out. It's the only two weeks
I get to see my lady friend.

Yeah, it's an arrangement.

He's so skeezy.

Yeah, You can smell him.

Yeah, he really can.

Just by looking at him, you can smell him.

And of course,
he wants to share a compartment. So it's.

It's Dawson, Father Brown, the rich guy.

Dovey. Dovey and clever.

Dovey is a red herring
wearing a yellow vest.

Yes, he is right.

And he is so great
that he eats all the scenery.

Yeah, he causes all sorts of problems.

He's drinking, he's smoking his pipe.

He's obnoxious on. The run from gangsters.

He is a perfect red hair.

He's going for the horses.

Yeah, he's.

He's a Ponzi aristocrat kind of guy.

Yeah. Yeah.

This is the first moment
when I realized something

that you said to me about this
episode was right

when we were talking about it
before we started recording.

You said that to you.

This struck
you like a Sherlock Holmes story. Yes.

And when Father Brown says what the is
not everything he appears to be

because his collar's frayed and like
he notices things about him that give away

the fact that he's not as aristocratic
as he would like to seem.

It's a deductive.

There's a couple of.

Other Brown's guy in his scenes.

Yeah, he's the father.

Brown's got his deductive powers
turned up to 11 to impress everybody.

They are kind of a motley crew, though,
sitting there together.

And of course, Flambeaux
pretending to be a minister, going to war.

Yes. So two ways.

Reading a newspaper,
which is the turf from October 3rd, 1953.

So we know exactly.

All newspaper about horse.

Race, the time frame.

Now, did you catch
this is tiny and way overly specific

but relates to us
when Father Brown talks about racing.

Did you hear what he says?

He likes to have a little.

Flutter, an occasional flutter,
and those are the exact words

that Jude Tindle sent us
when we asked about what he asked for.

And then in the newspaper agent.

Yeah, you're right.

You're right.

So she was reference in this episode.

Well, a little flutter is a pretty common
phrase to use towards a small bat.

Yeah, a casual bat.

One thing I don't understand

about Flambeaux character here
when he's pretending to be Captain Flynn.

Yes. The impression that we're supposed to
have is that he's off to Korea

and that he is fearful about going.

But he's not a new soldier, right?

No, he's not a new soldier.

But this is the first combat
that he's probably seeing.

Then why does he have so many ribbons
and stuff on his?

You know, because I was obsessed
with something else.

Let's see.

The newspaper. No, his book.

no, Man in the Sea.

So he's reading Ernest
Hemingway's Old Man in the Sea.

When did that come out? 1953.

So it's brand new. Hot off the presses.

This is a first edition, 1953.

Old Man in the Sea.

It has an orange and blue cover on it.

It's beautiful.

That's a dust jacket.

I know from watching Antiques
Roadshow and old book

where the dust jacket is worth like double
what the same book without it is.

I don't.

They obviously recreated this because.

Or they borrowed it.

No, I don't think
anyone would actually lend them this book.

How much do you think this book is worth?

$1 million.

No, no, it's not crazy like that.


It's $1,000 on a couple of.

they went to borrow that book. No problem.
You think so? Yep. Yep.

They could ensure it. Make it.

They could pay it back if it got damaged.

Well, on this website,
you can buy it for $1,000 or

you can pay for the visa, too.

There you go.

So the guy who did the cover of that book,
The Art?


His name is Hands Twenties, Dell Tisdale.

Yes. He's a German born artist
who moved to England to do art.

And before the war, he moved there
and he did so many book covers.

He was super well-known for book covers.

He is he has retrospective books
now that are just the book covers.

He did. Well. It's beautiful. Yeah.

Do you ever read Old Man in the Sea?

It's not the most exciting story.

I found it so boring
when you read it in high school.

I couldn't believe that our teacher

high schoolers could make it through
that book.

It's short.

I'll give you a Not short enough.
Not short enough.

Hemingway. Okay. Yeah, but.

There are other

Hemingway's that I like better
that are not so rah rah.

I'm a dude.

No, Everything he wrote is rah rah.

And you'd be surprised.

But it was so far
like if you had a continuum of books

that teenagers will understand
and get into and relate to

and like an old man in the sea,
they are so far away

on that continuum that you can fit
every other book possible in between.


We also read Pilgrim's Progress
in the same class, which was just paper.

We didn't read Old Man the Sea.

We read The Pearl,
which is kind of like it.

So Valentine is chasing Father Brown.

He misses the train when he gets on.

So you meet him at the next stop.

The whole time. I was like,

And then it's like, totally.

There's some there are some.

Keystone cops going on.

Some Benny Hill music.

So I was kind of expecting a scene
like a Scooby Do scene.

Father Brown runs out of one one carriage
and into the other one,

and Valentine comes
the opposite way. Yeah.

So the whole time, Father
Brown has four things

hat, an umbrella,
a suitcase, and a package.

That he holds out in front.

He holds the package
as if it's contagious, right? Yes.

Like, look at my package.
I have a package.

Look at my brown paper
package wrapped up with string.

It's one of my favorite things.

Did you get that reference?

Yes. Okay.

Thanks for laughing at it. He.

He holds it out
like I hope nobody notices.

I have this package. It's very important.

That is the dumbest way
to transport the class.

And Father Brown should know better.

I realize that he's trying to draw
Flambeau out

while also making sure
that the cross gets to Newbury safely.

He feels responsible for that.


He's trying to do two things at once
by putting the cross in a brown cardboard

box that he clearly values
is like a neon sign.

And Father Brown
does this and goes to the train station.

How does Flambeau ever hear about it
so that he can whip up a decoy?

That's exactly the. Same.

That's the other thing I don't get.

might have deduced that Father Brown

would take it right, because he's
that kind of he doesn't like authority.

He's going to he's
going to take the package himself.


I give him credit for for predicting that.

I cannot give him credit for predicting

the size, shape, color, string, say. Or.

Not. Type all of that
unless he was like outside of Brown's

window looking in and watching him wrap it
and then ran off to get an eye.

On the door and left another note.

And when Father Brown went to look
at that note, which says, I made you look,


looks in the window
and sees what the package looks like now.

The knock on the door, He opens the door

free box for carrying crosses.

it's just left there. There you go.

So he's like, how convenient that
I don't have to come up with anything.

I can just put it in this box.


How nice people. Flambeau Nikki.

Nikki 9 to 4. Yes.

Name of the episode.

Okay, so you're Father Brown,

and you have to take this cross to Newbury
and you've got to take the train.

You know, Flambeaux after it.

You want to draw him out,
but you don't want him to get the cross.

How do you carry it?

See, I'm going opposite.

I'm putting the cross in my luggage
and I'm carrying

a giant like
I'm saying two by two cross shaped box

that occasionally,

because it's so bulky and difficult to do,

occasionally I end up having upside down

and I have to rapidly turn over
for comedic effect.

Or sling on your back.

Yeah. So slingshots, you walk.

Like Jesus Dad. Street.

That's what I'm. Do.
But the cross is smaller than that.

Flambeau wouldn't fall for that.

Well, you know.

I just think he could have tricked him

Like, have the suitcase, have the package,
have something in the package.

But that's not the cross
and have the cross somewhere else.


So that when he goes for the box,
he doesn't get it.

Like Bobby Brown wears a cassock.


He could easily have it
hanging like over his loins

or something.

He could have put a big gold chain on it
and wear it around his neck.

Actually, Father Brown, who did.

This isn't great.

It feels cross. This is my bowing.

It's just my bowing.

Or he could have had Mrs.

M make him a big sandwich
and put it in the big sandwich.

It's a big sandwich.
And packed it up like a lunch.

That's my lunch.

This is my very important package.
Yes, but.

Like a picnic lunch.

The lunch had even better.

He could have had Mrs.

M come with him because, you know,
she would have.

And they could have put it in her

You know, Mrs.

M was giant underwear.

You know, there's giant plenty of room.

Plenty of room for the plan for the.

In the back.

That would have made it uncomfortable
to sit down. Well.

Mr. Chairman, don't you sit down. I can't.

It's under.

It's uncomfortable.

Big hat, Big had.

You could have put it under the hat. Lady.

If could have brought a big hat.

Absolutely not. In this episode.

She would be like, you're.

you're so cute.

All I'm saying is lots of ways to hide
that cross.

Yeah. Double double Blind Flambeau.

But no, he puts it

he actually puts it in the box
that he pretends it's been so stupid.

So they get to. Expect. More.

They get to this place.

It's Bedford, I think it's the name of it.

And there's a sign
with the bunch of fliers on it.

Did you look at those?

They're beautiful, beautiful, modernist

Absolutely. Great job. They're all for.

They're all like anti-crime posters
that you would see in the cop shop.

But this is the train station
where Valentine catches up with him.

Is that. Yes. Okay.

But then it says, Camelford Constabulary.

Is Camelford a village.

Does it have its own constabulary?

Does then it have a mayor? I don't know.

We don't know any more
about the geography of this place.

No, I don't either.

Dovey gets yanked off the train.

He owns gangsters. Money Surprise
is. Yeah.

Yeah. So, like.

you got me covered. Yeah, he's totally.

you got make coppers.

Father Brown goes.

It's a mile to the priory.

These people understand
that a mile is not a long walk.

That's why he's saying.
And it's only a mile of the priory.

That's why they can walk.

But it seems like they walk for four
and a half hours.

You know that game

where you put a ball under one shell
and you switch it around? Yes.

what's happening with the packages. Yes.

The package is always
switching back and forth.

In the train when Dawson pulls the cord
and makes them stop.


And then puts the smoke bomb off,
they fall and swaps them.

He almost does. It
when they get off the train.

Flambeaux swaps?


When they go over the fence, Father
Brown swaps them.


It's like they're walking
both through the forest with.

Holding them out in front of them
by the strings.

Look, I have a special package.

yes, Well, I have a special package to.

My special package weighs exactly
the same amount as your special.

Special package? Father Brown's special.

Day. Of the Everest.

I guess it's a good thing
they put it in a box because if they took

any of my ideas, they'd be swapping
underwear by now or something.

Yeah, that's my sandwich.

No, it's my giant sandwich.
My giant sandwich.

Looks just like your giant sandwich.

Mrs. M, take off your underwear.

And I'll book out

a giant umbrella from the J.


Uses it like the penguin.

It a sort.

Lambo has a little old lady with him
that looks just like Mrs.. M.

They're swapping old ladies.

With this special. Burger just from.

Walking through the woods.

No. Father.

Can you find the lady?
Which one has the lady?

You know.

Father Brown is trying to make Flambeau

understand what he's doing is wrong.

Well, he's always doing the thinking
and falling for it.

No, they have kind of an argument
in the woods.

I have your.

Your neckerchief.

really? Not a neckerchief.

I, I have your hankie.

The flambeau says

I'm kind of disappointed that we couldn't
have had more of a debate.

And Father
Brown says a deficient in reason, perhaps.

And Flambeau
says a celibate simpleton like


But it's totally like.

Who's got the big sandwich now?

They have a rap battle.

They do the Flambeau and Father Brown
Rap battle.

Well, Father Brown loses
because he ends up tied to a tree.

Well, he leaves clues for Valentine, too.

Yeah, the umbrella and fountain. Who?

Okay, I know we've said Valentine's
is a little sick every once in a while,

but he like to look at the hat
and the umbrella.

He sees it while they're speeding by.

That's a good eye.

Wait a minute.

Maybe. No, He picks up on it right away.

He's not stupid.

I thought it was a little slow.

Flambeau is a gun.

A little gun.

And then later he has a bigger gun.
He points at it.

But that's a tiny gun.
It's like a palm gun.

But he pointed at Father Brown the
first time you watch this, you don't know

Father Brown's going to get shot
because you don't know Flambeau.

Yeah, You don't know how dangerous he is.

And later you don't me.

You want to think that he's a gentleman

Yeah, but.

But he does commit crimes, and he will
hurt somebody's death if he has to.

So Dawson is the dumbest accomplice? Yes.

He hits his head on a wall. Yes.

Knocks himself out. He didn't have polio.

He got his knees taken out
by some ruffians, some gangsters.

The. No, this.

Was going to double cross him.

there should be a sound effect
for that or.

wait, I'm late for a confessional.

Flambeau will be there waiting for me.

Yeah. What did he do?

Double back.

To a gas. In the truck, I guess.

Is that truck
parked out in front of the church?

I just want beautiful things.

Like your package.

That sounds kind of gross.

I know.

I just want what's in your drawers.

That's all I want.

We're ready. Flambeau.

Doctor Flambeau, Father Brown, Flash


Mrs. Evans.

Right outside the curtains.

We're going to your car.

she's like the worst listener ever.

Father Brown's really mad here.

As he should be.

But then he's. Stripped of holy orders.

wait, No, he is.

Bishop Asshole comes along and says,
I'm removing you from your parish.

Yeah, and Father Brown looks like a puppy.

He's just been your bad. Yeah.

You just feel so bad for him.

And then Father Brown does
the whole Kaiser sausage thing

and puts it all together.

he's sitting with Valentine in the police
interrogation room, and he's it all out.


Flambeaux, Big plan.

And now Dawson was his accomplice.

And how he pulled the train,
the chain and the fire,

smoke, bomb
and the swapping and pass the parcel.

And you just wanted
what was in my drawers and Mrs.

M's knickers and sandwiches.

Nobody knew what was going on.

And now he's got it and he's gone. Yep.

Off to her, which the boatyard.

Came to look for the Santa Cruz.

I've got on my side.


Father Brown is never afraid to die? Nope.

It's like I'm good with God.

You're going to shoot
me. Do it. If he went through Flanders.

If Father Brown says he was 17, like, wow.

Yeah, he's been through some stuff.

He's seen it both worse.
Yeah, he's seen it.

So I think it's implied here
that Father Brown wasn't

in the Holy Orders in the first right
and was in the second.

Yes, I think that's accurate.

Yeah. Sid is super detective in this.

At the.

Super detective.

He finds out that Dawson is in Dawson's
real name.

Yes. Finds out that he's a criminal
and what his crimes are.

He tracks Dawson.
He knows what stalks him.

Yeah, better than the police do. Yeah.

He goes with Father Brown to Horowitz.

So he's not there at the boatyard
by himself?

Yeah. Saves the cross. Catches the cross.

He does a great job.

Sid's a good guy. In this episode.

I like Sid waiting behind the phone booth.

Watching Dawson? Yep.

Peering around the edge of it.

So Flambeaux Dad was a deserter
at Flanders in World War One.

Yeah. Shot for desertion.

And he blames the church.

Yeah. For not preventing that.

And says I wouldn't be a thief
if I'd known my dad.

And I would have known my dad
if the if the military hadn't shot him

and the military wouldn't have shot him
if the church had stopped them.

So it's Father Brown thought I'm a thief.

Yeah, there's some logic problems.

There's some logic.

Like, I'm
guessing if your dad was a deserter,

that he probably wouldn't
have been a real stand up dad.

Maybe. Well, I don't.

I don't want to claim his position.

Literally. Scared, maybe.

You know, and made a mistake and ran away.

You know, when he shouldn't have.

But I guess it depends on how purposeful
his desertion was.


You know, like, if he stole a truck
and dressed up like a nun and was driving.

Away the giant crossbow, that's a little.

Different. But Flambeaux
both got some baggage of his own.

Apparently, he does indeed.

And poor Dawson's getting his comeuppance
because now he's in chains.

It's like.

It's like you better read him his rights
before I shoot him.

Yes, I'm going to.

I absolve you.

So the bishop gives him his job back.

Wait a minute.

You missed the slow motion.

Sid dives.


Which is it? Low motion and Flambeau.

Swan dive?


Like some kind of Olympics
swimmer into the water.

And they shoot 1950s
guns at him in the water.

That ain't going to work.

It's not that they didn't
go six inches into the water.

No, they stopped
but he's got a nice suit and shoes on.

Does he's a fancy dress.

Wouldn't that weigh you down. Swimming.

It would be kick his shoes off right away
as soon as he hit.

But they would have been tied.

No, you can get your shoes off
even if they're tied.

I what I have a problem
with is swimming in socks.

Well, you're going to

take the shoes off,
take the socks off those.

I would have just gone underwater and
then gone the double back under the dock.

Yeah. That's what people usually do.

And Valentine's,
like give me rides, like, okay.

An hour and a half later.


They will have rounded up
some kind of flashlights or something.

They're not going to catch him.

The bishop doesn't apologize.

No, no, no, no.

He just says it never happened.

Yeah, whatever. Whatever.

I mean, he does tell him that the cardinal
had good words for Father Brown.

You didn't have to tell him
that anybody praised him at all.

No, he didn't.

Because, frankly,
the whole thing wouldn't have happened

if Father Brown had followed orders
and not tried to take it himself. Yes.

I just

I don't think Flambeau would have been
as eager to steal it from anybody else.

Are you aware
Valentine had just taken it by himself?

I don't think Flambeau
would have stolen it from him. I don't.

I don't think so either.

Are you aware
that Susie was in this episode?

Susie has some some holy French pantyhose.

That and she burns a dinner.

That's Susie's. Part.

And Mrs.

M calls her a Slaton?

No, she doesn't call her that.

She says a woman should buy her own

or else walk around
looking like a slaughter.

She doesn't say to you, Susie Slaughter.

So just me slut as in it.

It means slaughter, prostitute or untidy
slovenly woman.

Okay, so on the website
I wanted to look up the etymology

and when it was first used, 39.

First. Used. But then I saw this.

I can't believe

Webster does this
and I can't believe this was published.

All right.

So there's a section called Recent
examples on the Web.

Now, Slaton is not a word that I've heard
anywhere else, but this seems like.

the word used in a sentence recently.

Yes. Okay.

And this is from Andy Webster
from The New York Times

on the 15th of March 2017.

Joe, he's obviously talking about,
like a production or something.


19 year old newcomer
played by Rita Tushnet

and touching is encumbered by her Slaton


played by Dora Bride,

encumbered by her Slaton mother.

And this is in the New York Times.

Somebody had their fancy pants on.

Somebody had their the saurus out. Yeah.

You mean
she was held back by her prostitute?

Mom, can I use slut here?

No. Let's find a different word.

Yeah. Okay.

The a makes it better.

If it's a you, it's bad.

The splatter was kind of amazed
that they did that.

Have you ever been encumbered
by your slacker mother?

No. No. Even though her name is Madonna.

Have not does have that pointy bra. Yes.

Well, we don't have a best corpse.

Wait a minute.

Brown gets a telegram before the U.S..

Because Flambeau, Frankie is classy
and we will see him again.

Yes, right.

So he's like,
you may have one this time, Father Brown.

But until we meet.

We will meet again in Latin.

Ooh, la la. Yeah.

I'm looking at the telegram form.

Yeah, because telegrams amaze me anyway.

Yeah, they're incredible.

Very bottom on the form.

Like in the on the printed
on the not part of the telegram

is for free repetition of doubtful words,

telephone telegrams, inquiry

for free.

Repetition of doubtful words.

So when the tape came in
with the words on it.


So they would get these long series
of tapes.


And they, they'd translate them
from the Morse. Right.

As they and it would print.

So if they made a mistake and you're like,
did he really say what I think he said

Is that the word that was.
Keep it in. Right.

Maybe he maybe it was a mistake.

But they did that with early
carbon paper underneath it.

So there was they had backups.

But I'm just imagining that

it would

be so fun to be the person on the line
who gets those cos.

It says here that you want to do that.

My wife wants a divorce.

Surely divorce is not the right word.

You mistranslated that.

The dots and dashes.

She said she wanted a new roast
or something.

She called my mom.

I, I don't know for sure.

I don't think that's what she said.

We had those talks.

In a giant crossbow.

I didn't know they made sub sandwiches
and that shape

it can't be right.

Father Brown, subway commercial,

A giant sub in the shape.

Of a cross.

It's the Easter special.

This Easter.

we're going back.

Ham and cheese?

No, it'd be like tuna salad ravioli.

During. Lent. Yeah.

Not even Friday.

No. Yeah, we can't have best quotes.

Nobody died.

You know what died?


Susie made food.

That was an over roasted roast. Yeah.

I mean, Dawson had his head,
but he doesn't die now.

So after the credit slam.

Bo gets away
and does more crimes and comes back.

Susie's probably going to go on burn and.

Susie's not,
I don't think she's in the second season.

Said goes on being awesome
Addison's going to jail.

Do you think Dave is going to jail.

Has he broken the law?

I think he'd be happy to go to jail and.

Be safer in. Prison.

I think he'll

since he turned over in about 2 seconds,
I'm sure he'll turn state's evidence

on the gangster.

Yeah, he he wants he needs help.

Yeah. Queens evidence. Yeah.

And that's it.

And that's Father Brown, Season
one, the whole thing, the whole shebang.

Next week.

Clap them cock and. Remix.

The big interview.

The big interview.

Dun dun dun dun.

You'll be amazed. It will be awesome. Yes.

So until then. Bye, maniacs.

Bye, maniacs.

Keep your hands on your Frankie.

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Maniacs podcast.

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Creators and Guests

Sarah Smith-Robbins
Sarah Smith-Robbins
Co-host of Mystery Maniacs
Episode 194 - Father Brown - "The Blue Cross" - The Fanky & Father Brown’s Special Package!
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