Episode 196 - Poirot - "Murder in the Mews" - A Boiled Owl & The Thingness
It's like it's like And that's what's holding it up.
Sarah:Yeah. And it's sitting on its jaw. Hey, maniacs.
Mark:Hey, mystery maniacs.
Sarah:Yes. Poirotmaniacs.
Mark:Poirotmaniacs. Mystery maniacs is a comedy recap podcast dedicated to mystery TV. Each week, we dig into an episode of the show including Not really. In the muse.
Sarah:I'm Sarah.
Mark:Kinda, sorta.
Sarah:And you're? Mark. Hey. We're gonna spoil it. If you haven't seen or read Murder in the Muse and you don't know what happened, stop now.
Sarah:I forgot. We're gonna give it away.
Mark:The ending to this episode, but I was like, oh, Blenderlith did it. She's so guilty.
Sarah:Well, there's there's only so many characters.
Mark:Yeah. You
Sarah:know? The process of elimination kinda narrows it down.
Mark:But we'll get to that.
Sarah:We'll get to that. Yeah. We're back in Poirot land. Last week, you had the remix of the Clapham Cook.
Mark:With our special interview with Poirot.
Sarah:Which I don't think anybody appreciated.
Mark:Couple of beep couple of people said some nice things, said it was funny.
Sarah:I thought it was funny. It took a lot of work.
Mark:It it was like one of those old DJ bits where we took recordings of Poirot and
Sarah:Yeah. Now see people would just do it with AI, and they would just imitate Poirot's voice and
Mark:I don't want a Poirot AI.
Sarah:I don't either. He'd be so bossy.
Mark:He would be. Be brilliant, but bossy. And, actually, like episode 1, we see a lot of this is what Poirot's personality is scenes in this episode.
Sarah:Yeah. Though, I really like that. This this episode, Murder and the Muse has some of the wittiest one liners and wittiest conversations between all the characters. I I think yeah. It's one of my favorites.
Sarah:Not because of the case, but just because I love the characters.
Mark:And they pack so much into an hour.
Sarah:Yeah. A lot.
Mark:It was one of those ones where I'm like, is this 90 minutes or is this an no. It's an hour. Yeah. So it travels along, though.
Sarah:How are you doing, by the way?
Mark:I'm fighting it. I got the ill, the illness.
Sarah:You never get sick.
Mark:I know I never get sick, but we went to a hockey game last night. I went with some people from work. I think I probably got ill there. I got the funk from the crowd at the hockey game.
Sarah:I don't I don't think you could have contracted something last night and woke up with it this morning.
Mark:Well
Sarah:Maybe staying out late.
Mark:Been fighting.
Sarah:Up. Staying out late. In the cold at the hockey game?
Mark:It wasn't super cold, but yeah.
Sarah:So if you hear some gravel in his voice, it's because he's a sick boy.
Mark:Or I'm sleeping.
Sarah:If you fall asleep while we're recording, I'm gonna throw something at you.
Mark:I would go sit in the living room with the dog, but, oh my gosh, our dog has turned into another level of hellion this week.
Sarah:She she's been so good. But in the last week, she has started throwing tantrums. I don't know how else to describe it. When she's bad, we just walk her in the living room, and we close the door to the living room.
Mark:Okay.
Sarah:So she has a giant room with a couch and a bed. Room.
Mark:Well, she
Sarah:has more than 1 bed
Mark:in there. Food.
Sarah:Yeah. Everything is in there for her. It's just like, no. We're not gonna be near you. You're in trouble.
Sarah:And now when we do that, she has a tantrum. She trashes the couch, throws the cushions all over the floor, head butts the recycling bin into the side of the dryer over and over and over again, and then barks at it over and over again. I'm waiting for her to throw herself on the floor and roll around.
Mark:And then you look at her, and she blinks at you. It's like
Sarah:What? What? I didn't do anything.
Mark:I didn't do any I apparently, last night while I was at the at the hockey game, she threw a full on fit because somebody had a flashlight.
Sarah:She absolutely threw a tantrum. Like, I couldn't hold her. She was flailing around so much and and screaming. Screaming. It wasn't barking.
Sarah:She was screaming. She's just rotten
Mark:to the core. Our dog is going through the terrible twos.
Sarah:2a half? Yeah. It's I think she's just terrible Olive. I think it's just who she is. You can't screen them for personality.
Sarah:No. I wish you could. Fuck.
Mark:Definitely wish you could.
Sarah:Maybe she'll grow out of it. Somebody emailed and said, you just need to be stern with her. Yeah. Like, if you'd ever met her, you'd know it doesn't work. I can scream at her.
Sarah:I can point my finger at her and use the stern voice. Bad dog. Bad dog. And she just tries to bite my hand.
Mark:Yeah. She doesn't we spell it. B a d d o g
Sarah:She doesn't respond to stern voice No. At all. She doesn't respect us as a pack at all. No. She's just the olive doing the olive things.
Mark:And yet, I'll go there this afternoon, and she'll curl up in my lap and be like, where were you?
Sarah:Yeah. Anyhow.
Mark:So another thing making the rounds of the mystery Twitters and Instagrams is this weird little tea lunch thing quiz. So I thought we'd do it.
Sarah:So this is you've given me a picture of this. Yes. It has a row of teas of various shades.
Mark:Yes.
Sarah:A row of tea sandwiches and a row of dessert tea things. So And you're supposed to choose something from each one?
Mark:Choose one from each level.
Sarah:Well, I'm a builder's tea girl.
Mark:Okay.
Sarah:I have to say. I drink black tea with sweetened condensed milk in it
Mark:Yes.
Sarah:Which is an anathema to half of the world. Strangely,
Mark:exactly like my father did.
Sarah:Which I did not know. Yep. So I would go somewhere between b and c for my tea.
Mark:Okay.
Sarah:Pretty creamy.
Mark:Okay.
Sarah:Not too strong. Somewhat sweet. For me,
Mark:it's dirty water.
Sarah:You don't like tea at all? No. You don't drink iced tea or anything?
Mark:Oh my god. Well Are you
Sarah:you're gonna post this with the episode. Right? So people will be
Mark:able to post this with the episode in the show notes so you can see what we're talking about.
Sarah:So with the sandwiches, we have a choice of ham and cheese, egg and crust, smoked salmon, BLT, tuna mayo, or prawn mayo.
Mark:UK, are you okay? Are you eating too much mayo? I'm a little worried about how much mayo you're eating.
Sarah:Yeah. Now Egg and crust has mayo. Smoked salmon has mayo, tuna mayo, prawn mayo, certainly.
Mark:And BLT probably has mayo on it.
Sarah:And most people put mayo on a ham and cheese, though not the Mark cannot stand mayo. It's Like, not even the side of it.
Mark:Egg cold soup.
Sarah:No. It's not. Yeah. Oh, it's good.
Mark:It's emulsified egg fat. Insect just thinking that.
Sarah:Some of the things that you eat and you won't touch mayo. I I will choose from that, the BLT, I think. That sounds good.
Mark:But I I'll take the ham and cheese.
Sarah:But I would eat any of those except the smoked salmon. I'm not really into smoked salmon. No. No. For the desserts
Mark:What about water oh,
Sarah:this is Egg and cress?
Mark:Yeah.
Sarah:I would that's egg salad.
Mark:Yeah.
Sarah:I would eat that.
Mark:Yeah.
Sarah:For the desserts, we have a scone with jam and cream. Notice the cream is on top of the jam in this picture? Yes. Half of half of the UK would reject that.
Mark:Yes. Immediately, right away.
Sarah:Carrot cake, Victoria sponge, macarons.
Mark:Yes.
Sarah:Not macaroons. Nope. Macaroon. Lemon drizzle cake are profiteroles, which are basically cream puffs.
Mark:I'm just gonna go and state this. Okay? Mhmm. And I know people are gonna be upset about this. Vegetables are not dessert.
Sarah:I would eat one of each of those. No. I would eat all of those at the same time.
Mark:Much like sweet potato pie. Vegetables are not dessert.
Sarah:Carrot cake is good.
Mark:No. It's not. You're just all fooling yourself.
Sarah:Spice cake.
Mark:Yes. It's spice cake that you're like, oh, whoop a vegetables in? Whatever.
Sarah:I don't know what the origin of carrot cake is. I don't know if it was a spice cake during a time when people were short on ingredients and they added the carrot to bulk it up or if it's actually there for flavor.
Mark:No. Somebody was making a spicecake, and and a carrot accidentally fell into it.
Sarah:A pre shredded carrot.
Mark:And somebody said, oh, that's not horrible.
Sarah:Just leave it. When really it was horrible. I would eat all those things. I will admit.
Mark:The thing I hate about the carrot cake the most in this picture is the fact that they have a carrot made of icing on the top of it.
Sarah:Mhmm.
Mark:One object
Sarah:that you know what it is.
Mark:No. Jeez.
Sarah:Because it could be a spicy thing.
Mark:Are not dessert, and Victoria's sponge cake is the best of those.
Sarah:Of all of these, the macarons are the only ones I can't make.
Mark:And the per yes.
Sarah:I can't. I've tried to make macarons. I cannot make a macaroon.
Mark:Sarah makes fantastic desserts. The profiteroles in this picture look weird. I know what they're supposed to be, but it looks more like a bagel with brown cream cheese on it.
Sarah:I think it looks tasty.
Mark:But the the Victoria sponge, certainly. 2 level of tastiness. And the macaroons are, like, they're pretty, but I don't know how good they are. Aren't they coconutty?
Sarah:No. They're more meringue. Crunchy meringue.
Mark:I would remind you, coconut is a vegetable.
Sarah:It's a nut. Hence, the nut.
Mark:Should not be in desserts.
Sarah:Well, we've done it now. We've answered the quiz. Yeah. A lot of other people have answered the quiz. There's also a rather, lively discussion on the Midsummer Murder subreddit about how to make the cakes that the rain birds eat.
Sarah:Yes. Somebody posted the ice and brewer recipe, which is awesome. And there's a discussion about what that little sailboat cake is.
Mark:Yeah. That all that is fantastically maniacal. By the way, we're very close to 5,000, individuals members on the, Reddit subreddit. The midsummer subreddit? So when I took over, there were 1100.
Mark:I checked this users on that subreddit. And we've grown that subreddit to 5,000 in less than 3 years.
Sarah:It's fun.
Mark:It's there are a lot of great people on there now, and it is none of the bad stuff of Reddit. Because Reddit is like the Internet. There's a vast majority of good stuff and a bunch of bad stuff that gets crushed.
Sarah:There's a little there's a few little suspects here and there that that you don't
Mark:have to press.
Sarah:But you don't have to notice it at all.
Mark:You don't have to go there at all.
Sarah:Are you ready to talk about the murder in the muse? It's not a murder in the muse.
Mark:It's not a murder, and it doesn't really happen in the muse. Do what is a muse?
Sarah:At a parking lot.
Mark:Kinda. A row or street of houses or apartments that have been converted from stables or built to look like former stables.
Sarah:Mhmm. So I went online and looked for muse houses that were for sale in London.
Mark:Yeah.
Sarah:And most of them have a garage on the ground floor, and the front door of the apartment or the house is next to a big garage door. So it's clear that they were built with the emphasis on the garage. Right?
Mark:And sometimes there's steps up to the front door. Right.
Sarah:Yeah. Yeah. Now in this case, Hastings has his car parked in this mews. He must rent a garage in this mews.
Mark:Garage because somebody doesn't need the garage because they don't have a car or a horse. This is Bardsley garden muse, which is made up.
Sarah:The plot of this one is pretty simple. Yes. Girl kills herself. Her roommate makes it look like a murder to frame a guy she doesn't like who's been blackmailing the roommate. Straightforward.
Mark:Yep. And we have a a great
Sarah:It is the least important part of this episode. Oh, yes. Everything else is fabulous.
Mark:So much other great stuff in this episode. Starting with it's the 5th November.
Sarah:It's Guy Fawkes night.
Mark:It's Guy Fawkes night.
Sarah:Now let me ask you before we get into it. Guy Fawkes
Mark:Yes.
Sarah:Bad guy or good guy?
Mark:Okay. He was going to kill people.
Sarah:Okay. So you say he's a bad guy?
Mark:I don't care what your political philosophy is. If you're gonna kill people who are innocent, right, they were just sitting above all the gunpowder. And you may not think they were innocent, but But he didn't. Yeah. There's all sorts of things about what did he get caught before it happened, or was he running away?
Mark:Or it's one of those great, if I had a time machine, I'd go back and watch that night.
Sarah:Pre 19 eighties, he was uniformly a bad guy. He was a papist traitor.
Mark:Yeah.
Sarah:Everybody hated him. Burn effigies of him. Post 19 eighties, post v for Vendetta, he is now a symbol of of riot and rebellion against oppressors. Yeah. And He's become something completely different than than the historical character.
Mark:And what what's interesting is v for Vendetta, the comic book, and not to get too nerdy here. V for Vendetta, the comic book, which was created by Alan Moore who wrote it, that appeared in periodical form in the UK and then, the graphic graphic novel here in, the United States. A brilliant piece of comic work. Absolute brilliant piece of comic work has none of that in it. It is an exploration of anarchy.
Sarah:Yes. But I think it's ironic that they celebrate Guy Fawkes with fireworks. Yes. They should celebrate it with a bunch of fireworks that don't go off. Yeah.
Sarah:You know? Like, oh, we live
Mark:in big pile of stuff
Sarah:That won't burn.
Mark:That won't burn.
Sarah:No matter what we do, it won't burn. And somebody comes and takes it away and arrests us.
Mark:No. You know what you don't wanna do? You don't wanna look up sparklers history because all you get is how dangerous sparklers are.
Sarah:You'll put your eye out, kid. No. You'll burn your hands.
Mark:Like, really? They're dangerous? You're lighting gun power and magnesium up a light?
Sarah:On a stick and then handing it to a kid? Like And telling them to wave it around at other kids?
Mark:But it's also a lot of fun.
Sarah:They are fun. Have you ever had the really big ones? Yep. They're like 3 feet long. They burn for, like, an hour and a half, and you're so bored by the time it's done.
Mark:You're like, oh, god.
Sarah:It's still going. It's still going.
Mark:Where are, like okay.
Sarah:So Jap, Hastings, and Poirot are walking on Guy Fawkes Fox night in the dark, past the muse, past the sparklers and the fireworks. And That's how we open.
Mark:And, Hastings says the most writerly thing ever here. I wonder what would happen if there was a murder on this night to disguise it. That's totally Agatha Christie talking through Hastings.
Sarah:Yeah. Like, that may have been why she wrote the story. Yep. She had that thought too. Fireworks are a great cover for a gunshot.
Mark:Where were they before?
Sarah:Where are they coming from?
Mark:Yes.
Sarah:I think they've been out to dinner. That's what I'm
Mark:gonna say. And what I really like here is they do such a good job of being friendly with each other. Like, these men who are actors barely know each other at this point in time. Like they've gone through rehearsals, yes, and they went through the filming of 1 episode. But they're not best buds.
Mark:Episode, but they're not best buds. No. But they come off very friendly to each other.
Sarah:And they could not be more different.
Mark:Yes.
Sarah:From each other. They have completely different backgrounds. And yet, I I like these episodes where Jap and Poirot are friends so much better than some of the ones where they're, like, opposing, where Jap is like, get out of here. I don't need your meddling, you know, PI or whatever. I don't like that.
Sarah:I like that. I like when they're buddies and they, like, see a case as a challenge that they can solve together.
Mark:These these episodes are so good. We forget the 1989 sexism and racism that is rampant in these episodes. Wow. This is Jap. She doesn't like the fun.
Sarah:Some of it is just in the stories too, and they just kept it.
Mark:Yeah.
Sarah:I don't think it's sexist to say missus Jap doesn't like to see other people having fun. I think that's her personality. It's not
Mark:I know. I just don't like men that complain about
Sarah:their lives. Well, but he says one thing Yeah. And Still. And it's kinda true from what we know of her.
Mark:Well, she sings the hymns.
Sarah:At Christmas time. In Wales. I I love that they're jovial with each other. They're joking around. Yes, Hastings.
Sarah:We ever we pull ever so gently the leg.
Mark:The leg.
Sarah:Yeah. Because they're pulling us like because Yeah. It'd be a good night for a gunshot, but not if you wanted to poison someone or strangle someone. Yeah. Like, it wouldn't cover that up.
Sarah:He's like, oh, yeah. He's so gullible. Oh, I guess you're right. Wait a minute. Are you pulling my leg?
Mark:Yes. Then we get next day where Poirot is has a scratchy collar. We'll get to it. And Hastings is just lying around reading the paper with his shoes on the couch.
Sarah:I don't think Poirot would let him do that. No. But I don't think Poirot would wanna see his socked feet either.
Mark:Better than his shoes on the couch.
Sarah:There are so many episodes where, where Hastings is just lounging around reading a paper. Oh. It's what he does.
Mark:It is the the best the absolute best one, and I forget what episode is, the when he explains about dating the architect, and he's really dating his mom.
Sarah:Her mom. The architect's mom. Arwini and miss Lemmon are talking about stocks.
Mark:That the both of those are fantastic. But
Sarah:And sometimes he's reading, like, crimes in the paper often
Mark:Yes.
Sarah:Get Poirot's attention to a case or something. But this time, yeah, they start talking about laundry, but then Poirot has a dentist appointment. We'll talk more about his teeth, in another episode this season. But then Jap calls and says, Poirot, there was a murder. There was a murder.
Sarah:I'll meet you there. I'll meet you there in an hour. Click. He just hangs up. Yep.
Sarah:Because he knows Poirot is gonna drop everything and go.
Mark:And Poirot is like, I can't go that dentist appointment.
Sarah:Oh, darn. Cancel my appointments, miss Lemon. I gotta go.
Mark:Miss Lemon. He's got urgent business.
Sarah:He's off.
Mark:And that nice little bit where Poirot and Jap are walking towards the scene of the crime, and it's all ADR'd.
Sarah:Yeah. Which is? Additional date,
Mark:dialogue.
Sarah:Recording. Because they couldn't pick up their voices when they were shooting that. Hastings doesn't go with Poirot. No. When he goes to see the crime.
Sarah:No. I guess he just stays on the couch reading the newspaper.
Mark:I guess so. But then he's no. No. He goes because he's there fixing the car with Freddie.
Sarah:That's right. That's why he doesn't go. He's already there.
Mark:Yes.
Sarah:How does that happen? I never noticed that. So in the hour between Poirot getting the call from JAP and going to the muse, Hastings goes, I'm gonna go work on my car
Mark:Which just happens to be.
Sarah:At the same place.
Mark:Yes.
Sarah:But they don't go together.
Mark:Freddie and the informant.
Sarah:Freddie Hogg is the best character in this episode.
Mark:So Freddie Hogg is played by a young man named Nicholas Delve
Sarah:Mhmm.
Mark:Who's in one other show.
Sarah:He was he's so good.
Mark:He is so good at it.
Sarah:He knows all about the car. He takes the money from Jeff and ask him for some more.
Mark:He totally is the
Sarah:He's like, hi. I'm exposition.
Mark:I'm I'm a young person who is older than my years
Sarah:Yeah.
Mark:In in late, like, early Edwardian English.
Sarah:I love that, he and Hastings are buddies. Because Hastings is the kind of guy who's like, I don't care that you're 10. You know about cars. Let's do this.
Mark:And, like, he's observing and notices the time and stuff like that.
Sarah:Completely trustworthy apparently. Wouldn't have
Mark:been surprised if we saw Freddie in other episodes. But
Sarah:I wish we did because I like him. I think he should be Hastings' sidekick.
Mark:So
Sarah:Little Freddy.
Mark:I kinda stalked Nicholas Dove.
Sarah:Who is Freddy?
Mark:Yeah. Because that's a pretty specific name.
Sarah:Yeah. So And sometimes we find actors who were, like, they played one part and especially when they were young. And then you you look them up and you find out now they're, like, an astrophysicist or something. Like, they acted as a kid and then they stopped.
Mark:Yep. Well, Nicholas Delv may have become a chiropractor.
Sarah:But you're not sure?
Mark:Sunderland, I think he is. Where his practice is?
Sarah:Did it come to osteopaths in the UK?
Mark:Yes. Osteopath, chiropractor. I got to the point where I was staring at his picture and another picture of Freddie
Sarah:Trying to figure out if it was him.
Mark:And then I wondered what I was doing with my life.
Sarah:He's got pretty distinctive teeth.
Mark:I was like, what are you doing?
Sarah:Stalking an osteopath. Who seems to be too young. You think so?
Mark:But then I was like, but Freddie's
Sarah:10, 12. Yeah. So So he was born in the late seventies.
Mark:Yeah.
Sarah:So he'd be a few years younger than me. So, like So did he look like he was in his mid forties?
Mark:Yeah. He's got a wife and child.
Sarah:Good for him.
Mark:He's got a good career. I hope it's him, and there's no mention of it.
Sarah:Of course not. You're not gonna say I was once in a Poirot.
Mark:And I didn't, like, call them. Right?
Sarah:You caught yourself before you went too far.
Mark:I didn't go that far. But it's a unique name. That's the only person who has that name.
Sarah:Put the 2 pictures into, like, into, like, AI and ask what the chances were that it was him.
Mark:No. But that's a good idea. I might do that.
Sarah:You can put it in Photoshop and try to, like, make one transparent and try to line up the features like they do on CSI. It's him. It's him.
Mark:People already think we're weird enough.
Sarah:Well, that's kind of the point, isn't it? That's what we do. This apartment is weird.
Mark:Well, okay. It's weird in that it's an art nouveau museum.
Sarah:Plunderleith, yeah, and Allen have an apartment that is full of collectible expensive art.
Mark:Yeah.
Sarah:With the occasional shot of Barbara Allen that Plunderleaf has taken. A black and white photo of her. Yes. That appears 3 places in the apartment.
Mark:Yes.
Sarah:Like, she's happy about that photo. Because Planderly is a photographer and has a little studio in the living room.
Mark:So I wanted to ask, and this is not the subtle well, not subtle racism, the overt racism and subtle misogyny of the episode. But did you kinda get a gay vibe off of her and her friend?
Sarah:That would be homophobia, not racism. Kinda.
Mark:Like, she has the pictures of her. She's obviously very close to her.
Sarah:Yeah. I maybe, and maybe that's why she's not so crazy about the fiance, though he is a dick.
Mark:Yeah. We'll get to we'll get to the fiance.
Sarah:But I don't I don't know. I mean, no. Okay. I don't think so. I have in my notes here.
Sarah:Will say. Pleinor leads hair really bothers me. It's like a mullet. Isn't it?
Mark:Isn't it a mullet? It's horrible hair, and she wears, like, red look at me clothes, which she's trying not to be suspicious. I don't hide things.
Sarah:Yes. She's not a good liar. No. The character is not a
Mark:good liar. My notes. Punderleaf clearly is the killer when I had forgotten what happened in this episode.
Sarah:Among the things that are in the apartment that are probably valuable enough to buy the apartment
Mark:Yes.
Sarah:Is a horse head.
Mark:Oh, that horse head is frightening.
Sarah:It's on the mantle, and it has the weirdest expression on its face.
Mark:I like, it's been it's like the guys on night country, the scientists who have been scared.
Sarah:But If you haven't seen it. No. It's beyond looking scared. It looks like
Mark:They're having a stroke.
Sarah:Like, if you've had a stroke and your your jaw is kind of slack. Yeah. It's like it's like
Mark:And that's what's holding it up.
Sarah:Yeah. And it's sitting on its jaw. We have a picture of it. We'll post a picture of it.
Mark:We'll post the picture.
Sarah:It's got a blubbery bottom lip. Yeah. It looks like it's just been punched and freeze framed
Mark:and sculpted. To poo.
Sarah:I'm a horse. I'm on the mental.
Mark:I'm on the horse.
Sarah:It's probably incredibly valuable. It's the weirdest face of a horse. It's not at all what I would choose to put on my art nouveau mantle in my apartment. And I can't imagine that it's a good prop for photographs. Oh, can I pose with the weird blubber lipped horse?
Sarah:It's my favorite. The woman who's dead
Mark:is a pretty good dead body here.
Sarah:She is. She's good later in the reenactment of the crime too. Yeah. Her eyes are open. Yep.
Sarah:Apparently, according to the people on IMDB, her fingers move at one point, though I didn't see it. I looked for it, but I didn't see it.
Mark:So then they go back. They find the cuff link, and then they go back outside, and Freddie gives his report without notes. That's the other part.
Sarah:Oh, he remembers everything.
Mark:Yeah. He deserves more money.
Sarah:Got his little holy sweater on. Got his greasy hands. And they jump in a cab to go see Charles. Charles. Charles Laverton West, which is such a poncey name.
Mark:And they go into his office, and I'm like, George.
Sarah:Yes. Same actor, David Yelland, who plays George, who is Poirot's man later.
Mark:So later on
Sarah:When Hastings is gone, he has a a butler?
Mark:Yeah. He is a butler because I think they moved away from inspector, from Jap not Jap. Sorry. From Hastings and Lemon. Well, mostly because I don't think missus Lemon wanted to be an actor anymore.
Sarah:Mm-mm. I think she She went on to be a psychic.
Mark:Yeah. And so Hastings was, like, out, and so they replaced him with George. Mhmm. So Mhmm.
Sarah:He doesn't even get up when they come in to shake their hands.
Mark:Well
Sarah:As a politician, you'd think he would get up and shake their hands because he doesn't know what they're there for.
Mark:He is there to be, like, this is how upper crest people deal with marriage and death. Mhmm.
Sarah:Stiff upper lip.
Mark:Yep.
Sarah:He's a TOF. That's what Freddie says.
Mark:Foiled owl. What does that mean? I don't know.
Sarah:What a stuffed fish
Mark:or a
Sarah:boiled owl.
Mark:The TOF is Eustace.
Sarah:Oh, that's right. Yeah. Yeah. You're right.
Mark:No. The boiled owl
Sarah:is Charles.
Mark:Is Charles. What is a boiled owl look like?
Sarah:I I don't know. I don't wanna think
Mark:about too much. A mom and phrase?
Sarah:Yeah. Okay. And Charles' first reaction is to worry about whether the press have picked it up or not.
Mark:Yes.
Sarah:He's so selfish.
Mark:But the PM's on the phone.
Sarah:But apparently, Barbara really loved him.
Mark:Yeah. That sounds nice.
Sarah:It takes all kinds, but not my type.
Mark:Before we deal with the callers, which we must deal with next
Sarah:Mhmm.
Mark:I wanna talk about the the worst thing in this episode Okay. Which is the fact that on Poirot's bookshelves, he has le morte de arter.
Sarah:Mhmm.
Mark:But he has following from left to right, book 2 then book 1. What is he doing?
Sarah:Poirot would never do that.
Mark:What is he doing?
Sarah:Walking around straightening things, and he's not gonna put those in the correct order.
Mark:I was I was like, I cannot believe those are not in the correct order.
Sarah:That made you twitch.
Mark:I did. And then he also has the notebooks of Leonardo da Vinci.
Sarah:Who knows? Maybe there's a reason for it. Maybe he thinks they were published in the wrong order or something.
Mark:Yes. Maybe. So then there's the the discussion of the Bulldog Laundry.
Sarah:Yeah. Poirot's dictating a note. It's the bulldog breed laundry.
Mark:Yes.
Sarah:I know it's racist, but it's so funny.
Mark:And Hastings shoes are on the couch again.
Sarah:Again. Mark has problems. He has the cleanest brogues ever, but you can't stand that they're near the couch.
Mark:Mere thingness. Thingness.
Sarah:I love that laundry isn't the pay of my enemies. Never considers changing laundries. No. You know there's a gazillion laundries. Yep.
Sarah:He could take his clothes anywhere, but no. Even though he's had to write them many letters, and they don't speak English, so he can't actually communicate with them. He sticks with the bulldog breed laundry.
Mark:But the so the boy brings the letters back, and missus Lemon translates the letter to the boy with the greatest phrase ever.
Sarah:Him, caller, no very good starchy.
Mark:No very good
Sarah:starchy. Veli good. Veli with l's. Veli good starchy.
Mark:And then she goes, and this is pure comedy. Yes.
Sarah:Well, it's it's Hastings who told me that's what I should say.
Mark:Because Hastings well, no. No. She doesn't say that first. That's the punchline. Because Poirot goes, wait a minute.
Mark:Hastings went to China. And he's like, yes. They're good chaps.
Sarah:Yep. He goes, what What did you say when
Mark:you had
Sarah:trouble with laundry there?
Mark:And he said, well
Sarah:him call her novety good starch.
Mark:And missus Lemon goes, that's where I got it. Yeah.
Sarah:And did it work for you, Hastings?
Mark:No. No. It didn't. It's a confederacy of duchess and. It's like
Sarah:ah. Man Hastings says, well, why don't you start wearing these downturn collars? They're all the thing. Poirot is not consumed with mere thingness.
Mark:The thingness. And then Jap walks in with the downturn color
Sarah:Yeah.
Mark:And does and he does the most copy thing ever. Well, she's out of it.
Sarah:Yeah. He's so he's disappointed that they've had to eliminate Plenderleaf as a suspect. Because she was playing Playing bridge.
Mark:What is the difference between Gasper's and Turkish?
Sarah:Gasper's are British cigarettes. Okay. Turkish are Turkish cigarettes.
Mark:Okay.
Sarah:They smell different, I'm guessing.
Mark:I guess. So major Eustace knew her in India.
Sarah:Mhmm.
Mark:And she is behaving like a woman who has been blackmailed. So She's taking money out of the banking cash, and it's not there anymore.
Sarah:So Barbara Allen was married. Apparently, it wasn't a very good marriage. He died. This is in India. He died.
Sarah:Then she took up with a married man, got pregnant, had the baby. The baby died. Then she came back to England. Yes. And Eustace was in India, so he knew about the affair and about the baby.
Mark:So this
Sarah:And clearly, Charles was not gonna have anything to do with a woman who had been married before and had had a Yeah. A child out of wedlock.
Mark:Because of the blackmail, they searched the apartment again.
Sarah:Mhmm. And And find the very suspicious closet. And horrible woman
Mark:horrible haired woman is like, you could look anywhere.
Sarah:Plunderly.
Mark:And then has the most awkward scene with Poirot on a couch you could imagine.
Sarah:I think she just can't know.
Mark:Cigarette from my giant box of cigarettes? Oh, yes. May I also have a lighter, a light from my giant lighter?
Sarah:She gets him. She knows what he's doing. Yeah. Because she's planted all the evidence. Right?
Sarah:So she knows when he's looking around that he wants to sit down, and she knows he wants to sit down to be offered a cigarette so he can compare the cigarettes to the ones in the ashtray that she's put in Alan's bedroom.
Mark:Yes.
Sarah:She's smart. Oh, she's smart. She's not smart when they ask about the cupboard.
Mark:And she goes, oh, the key's lost. And I'm like, well, then how did you put your case back in it? Yeah. And then she miraculously finds the key. Yeah.
Mark:And then I'm wonder she goes, things get pinched in this neighborhood. So they come into your house
Sarah:And steal your umbrellas.
Mark:And steal your umbrellas?
Sarah:But not all your valuable artwork. Yes. Freddie doesn't want your umbrella.
Mark:So JAP opens up the case, and it's empty except for? Magazines. Amateur photographer.
Sarah:The hold you fell into, obviously, because it's what you do.
Mark:The amateur photographer and cinematographer. Issue number 53. The journal for everyone with a camera.
Sarah:Now this is Allen's case. Right?
Mark:No. She says it's her case.
Sarah:But it's actually Barbara Allen Yeah. Barbara Allen's case.
Mark:I'm I'm not sure, but this sets it in the correct time. It's July, this issue, has some women playing on the front of the magazine.
Sarah:Playing?
Mark:Yeah. They're, like, on a big inner tube Oh, okay. Inflatable thing, and they're in bathing suits, and they're playing. And, actually, there's some fairly decent articles in the issue about how to, like, frame and take photographs that make them visually interesting.
Sarah:See, I don't need I don't think Plunderleaf would need that magazine.
Mark:I don't think so either.
Sarah:She's a professional photographer.
Mark:I read the letters to the editor.
Sarah:Yes. He found the full issue online and perused the whole thing.
Mark:No. I didn't peruse the whole thing because it's hundreds of pages. It's quite large, actually. But the letters to the editor were all incredibly well researched and very well answered and asked. I was hoping for something.
Sarah:They were technical.
Mark:I was hoping for, like, the letters from the history magazine, but no.
Sarah:I get I get the British history magazine
Mark:ad. History. The official magazine of the Of
Sarah:the of the we joke because they say it in every episode of the podcast. The podcast is the podcast of the UK's leading history magazine. Yes. That's what they say. Because there's such competition.
Sarah:Yeah. But they have a letters to the editor. I get it because I like history. Mark reads it because he likes the very persnickety letters to the editor.
Mark:And the near impossible Crossword. Crossword puzzle. When you have a crossword puzzle in a magazine, like, say, for instance, amateur photographer, that crossword puzzle is there to promote the magazine.
Sarah:Yes. And it should be connected to the stories in that issue.
Mark:Right? Connected to the stories in the magazine and be easy. You should
Sarah:be able to answer it if you've read the magazine, not history magazine.
Mark:Which one of 2 pre ice age Inuit tribes in North America. What?
Sarah:It's a step up. It's not cryptic, but it is hard. Wow.
Mark:I'm sorry.
Sarah:I finished one of them and only had to look up, like, two things.
Mark:Like, I know I only have a minor in history, but wow. I asked our historian friend some of the questions, and she did not know the answers off the top of her head.
Sarah:Not a super nerd like me. So But, you know, what Plenderleaf is doing is trying to distract them from the golf clubs. Right?
Mark:Yes.
Sarah:Because those are Allen's golf left handed golf clubs, and she doesn't want them to know that she was left handed.
Mark:The second gayest thing in this episode is the men's pool.
Sarah:It's it's a very posh place.
Mark:Looks so uncomfortable.
Sarah:What do you think about men's swimsuits back then? Do you think they would have been more comfortable than trunks?
Mark:Okay.
Sarah:Because they had, like, straps to hold them up and stuff? No. No? Trunks are better?
Mark:I yes. It's just too much clothes for me. I'm sorry.
Sarah:So no shoes on the furniture, but only swimming trunks.
Mark:No. No. You can have shoes indoors. I've admitted that.
Sarah:Okay. Okay.
Mark:It's not a Canadian thing. Canadians take their shoes off like civilized people when they enter a house, but the rest of the world apparently are not civilized.
Sarah:No. Most of Asia doesn't, and most of India doesn't.
Mark:And so they take
Sarah:their shoes off anyway.
Mark:So that's okay. But no. It bothers me intensely to put shoes on. Even on the ottoman that's in front of my chair, if I have my shoes on, I don't like putting them on the ottoman.
Sarah:Most people, I think, would agree with you in in theory, but in practice, they just go, whatever. My shoes aren't that dirty.
Mark:And I think that Jap is really good at at dealing with the fiance here and not making him uncomfortable, but getting the information out of him.
Sarah:Jack has always been good with dealing with upper class people. Yep. He does not let rich people intimidate him. Yes. The next note rude to them just because they're wealthy.
Sarah:He treats everybody the same.
Mark:Yeah. The next note I have is, oh, no. The song.
Sarah:Well, before we get to the song, Barbara Allen was taking $200 a month out of her account to pay the blackmail. Yeah. $200 £2. £200. Sorry.
Sarah:Now would be with with, inflation would be about £45100.
Mark:Wow.
Sarah:That's what she was paying him.
Mark:That's Eustace had her over a barrel.
Sarah:I don't know if that's a lot for blackmail or not. It depends how long she was paying them, I guess.
Mark:I don't know. I'll have to consult my blackmailing friends.
Sarah:But, you know, Eustace is a manager of a nightclub, I guess. So Yeah. It's probably a lot of money for him.
Mark:He wishes he could own this place.
Sarah:This song is evil. It is evil. So it gets in your head.
Mark:We rarely ban television episodes in the house.
Sarah:This one, ah, I wish I could have fast forwarded through this scene. I couldn't because I was taking notes.
Mark:I wanted to do some food. That this song was in this episode, and this is the reason why we
Sarah:do stan.
Mark:Oh. You're very poor woman singing it does a very excellent job of going, they're forcing me to sing this racist song.
Sarah:It's the Persian name for India. Yep. There is still a newspaper called the Hindustan Times in India.
Mark:It's not Hindustan that I have the problem with. It's the lyrics that I have the problem.
Sarah:With with your camel caravan?
Mark:Yes.
Sarah:Yeah. There there is some and the waitresses all wear the flat Chinese Oh. Rice patty hats Yes. And cheongsams, the silk dresses.
Mark:Yes.
Sarah:Like, okay. Which country are you being racist against?
Mark:Well, and
Sarah:it Is this China or India or what?
Mark:And it goes basically Yeah. At the beginning. Like
Sarah:I'm waiting for Charlie Chan to walk in. Yeah. It's just. Any more racism around?
Mark:And Eustace is I like Eustace as a character because, yes, he is blackmailing this woman.
Sarah:Oh, he's despicable, but he's a rat. But that's what he's supposed
Mark:to be. A rat, but he does such a good job at doing it. And they arrest him, and he looks honestly shocked.
Sarah:I was just blackmailing her. I wasn't I didn't murder anybody.
Mark:Yes.
Sarah:Come on. They go to the golf course.
Mark:Yes.
Sarah:Next to him collar know very good starchy. This is my second favorite scene in this episode.
Mark:So, Sarah, I ask you this. You're going to take these golf clubs Mhmm. To the golf course, which is a good place to hide golf clubs.
Sarah:Mhmm.
Mark:Right? Because people do break golf clubs.
Sarah:Yep.
Mark:I've never been angry enough at the little white ball to break a club.
Sarah:But sometimes they just break.
Mark:I've been close.
Sarah:Especially back then when the they didn't have all the fiberglass kind of stuff.
Mark:Because sometimes that little ball acts with a mind of its own.
Sarah:Yes.
Mark:But I never wore my shocking red outfit while doing it.
Sarah:You didn't wear your matching sweater vest, sweater, beret, and socks? Yeah. She's very accessorized.
Mark:I understand that golf is a fashion show that is a long walk. Mhmm. I understand that.
Sarah:Especially back then. Especially for women back then.
Mark:Especially for women back then. I totally understand that. But she wears the most obvious outfit. Mhmm. Like, there's somebody 5 holes over Yeah.
Mark:In that red outfit.
Sarah:What? You want her to wear a camo? Something. She wears all green. Green would be better.
Sarah:She wears an outfit with a tree printed on it. I'm not here.
Mark:Well, Poirot is not necessarily dressed for golf either.
Sarah:No. He wears what he wears. That's what he always wears. I'm surprised that Hastings isn't an obnoxious plus fours. Yes.
Sarah:The knicker pants
Mark:The knicker pants.
Sarah:With argyle socks.
Mark:So Poirot says, can I hit the flag? No. You can't.
Sarah:Okay. I got a question about this. Alright. There's this whole scene where Hastings' friend, who is their host at the golf club, that's why they're allowed to be there. Right?
Sarah:Yeah. Is concerned that Hastings doesn't know how to play golf, and he says, you know, do you are you sure that he's alright? And he says, Poirot is feared at golf clubs all over the world. Yep. And he says, well, do you have a certificate of handicap?
Sarah:And hasty and Poirot says, no. No. I'm fine. Like, pretending that's what a handicap is. Yeah.
Sarah:Right? Here's my question. Is Poirot playing dumb, or does he really not know about golf?
Mark:Oh, I think he doesn't know about golf at all.
Sarah:So he just happens to be super good?
Mark:He because it's Poirot.
Sarah:So it's just luck.
Mark:Yeah. I love how he scrunches up his face when he goes, can I hit the flag?
Sarah:Is it okay if I hit it?
Mark:No. If you hit the flag, it's it's a penalty.
Sarah:Oh, is it?
Mark:Yeah. You're forfeit that hole.
Sarah:Wow. I didn't know that.
Mark:Yeah. You can't hit the flag, man. Don't hit the flag.
Sarah:There's very few people good enough at golf if they could hit it on purpose.
Mark:I I can't believe how good his shot is.
Sarah:Neither can anyone else except him. Yes. He's like, I don't know what's so hard about it. I kind of I I kind of go back and forth. On one hand, I think, yeah.
Sarah:He really doesn't know anything about golf. And on the other hand, I think he's pulling pulling ever so gently the leg of everybody else. But I think if he was actually good at golf, Hastings would know.
Mark:Then there's an incredibly sad scene at the mansions, and then they go for lunch. Mhmm. The ending is a bit rushed here.
Sarah:Yeah. So, basically, Plunderleaf gets home, sees sees that Alan is dead, thinks that damn Eustace drove her to it. The letter backs it up. She frames Eustace for the murder, but Poirot is having none of it. He sees right through it.
Mark:It's not really hard. Really attempting to murder major Eustace.
Sarah:Then she just leaves. Yes. Just gets up and walks out.
Mark:Isn't it clever that it's suicide made to look like murder, not murder made to look like suicide? Thank you, Agatha Christie, for speaking in the episode again.
Sarah:And Hastings goes, well, I'm jiggered. Because he's completely confused by all of this.
Mark:But what about the briefcase? It was a red herring.
Sarah:No. It was a bloater, a kipper, a red herring.
Mark:Let's go for lunch.
Sarah:Yeah. So is Eustace gonna be charged with blackmail? No. Probably not. Is Plender Leath gonna be charged with manipulating a crime scene, lying to the police?
Mark:She should be.
Sarah:Meddling with a corpse? Probably not.
Mark:Probably not.
Sarah:Because she just left. So that means she's okay. She's off the hook. She left. Case closed.
Sarah:Done. How I I hope they let Eustace out
Mark:I hope so.
Sarah:Like, let him sit there for
Mark:a minute. Blackmailer who runs a racist restaurant. I'm not saying he's a good guy. Okay? I'm not saying he's a good guy.
Mark:No. But he doesn't really do anything wrong in this episode.
Sarah:No. Other than blackmail her, he doesn't do anything wrong.
Mark:Yeah. And run the racist restaurant.
Sarah:Oh, yeah. He was already doing that. And all the other rich guys who hang out in there, they're down with it. So, you know, if he was gonna get in trouble with it, he already would have.
Mark:Yeah.
Sarah:It's not the kind of place Charles would go. I can tell you that.
Mark:I'm surprised that you didn't ask her what you would say to a Chinese person about starching collar.
Sarah:Or or Miss Lemon comes in. Excuse me. Can you stop your song for a second? I have a question.
Mark:Yes. Or they asked Jap the question. He would have been like, what do you mean starched collars?
Sarah:Laundromat, my wife washes my clothes Yes. When she's not having any fun.
Mark:So that is
Sarah:It's hard to choose my favorite line from this episode. Him, caller, know very good starchy is hilarious Yes. Because of the whole interaction around it.
Mark:But, again, we can't make a t shirt of that.
Sarah:No. Poirot is the name Poirot is feared on golf courses across the continent.
Mark:We could make a t shirt, but it's not it's not fun. I'm not.
Sarah:Well, I'm jiggered. Well, I'm Poirot
Mark:is not concerned with thingness.
Sarah:Thingness. Mere thingness. Yeah. You're not making a t shirt out of that. Maybe I should make a baffled Hastings t shirt.
Mark:Maybe.
Sarah:Like I did with, Bracken Reed with all of his quotes. Just Hastings with, well, I'm jiggered, and you're pulling my leg.
Mark:Well, there's a all the there's a picture you took
Sarah:I'd say.
Mark:Of the episode where Hastings is totally staring at the camera too. He's like, I'm an actor in this episode.
Sarah:But Hugh Fraser is such a good actor.
Mark:Hugh Fraser.
Sarah:He's so great. But you just wanna hug him all the time. And in this episode, I just wanna pinch Poirot's cheek because he did so cute. Yep. He's so funny, and he's
Mark:so cute. Cute and funny.
Sarah:Very clever.
Mark:And it allows us to gloss over the 1989 racism and
Sarah:And the 19 thirties racism and misogyny.
Mark:Yeah.
Sarah:That is the nonmurder in The Muse. Yes. We had a discussion about whether it should be called that or not.
Mark:There's no murder.
Sarah:But that would give it away.
Mark:The death in The Muse.
Sarah:That would give it away.
Mark:The Strange Happening in the Muse.
Sarah:Maybe you could get away with that. Agatha Christie was clever enough to know that her readers would pick up on that title. If it was Death in the Muse, they'd go, oh, well, then it's not a murder.
Mark:I suppose.
Sarah:Next time Yes.
Mark:March 4th.
Sarah:We have episode 3. The adventure of
Mark:Johnny Waverly.
Sarah:It's a
Mark:checklist. Gotta say is my least favorite episode.
Sarah:Of this season?
Mark:Yeah. And maybe the whole series.
Sarah:There's some bits in it.
Mark:There is some bits in it.
Sarah:Redeem it.
Mark:I forget how good it is.
Sarah:Plot wise, it's a little it's a short story. These are all short stories.
Mark:It's a big keystone cops with people running over here and then running over here and then
Sarah:I kinda like that.
Mark:Yeah.
Sarah:It's fun. It's super fun. Oh, I love Poirot so much. Yes. I like I like the books.
Sarah:I like the short stories, but, man, David Suchet just chef's kiss. He's so awesome. And every one of them, I'd never get tired of
Mark:seeing it. I saw an article this week that said he over the pandemic, he received 3 times as many much fan mail as he's ever gotten.
Sarah:Mhmm.
Mark:Because people were binging Poirot.
Sarah:Yeah. Because it's a comfort show. Yeah. It's cool. For me, for sure.
Mark:Comfort show.
Sarah:I'm like, oh, there's he there he is.
Mark:Till we get to the last season, which is incredibly depressing.
Sarah:Oh, well. You know it's there. You don't have to watch it. He can't live forever. He has to grow the Marrows.
Mark:Well and the elephant episode is horrifically sad as well. So
Sarah:Let's talk about that at the end of the episode. Yay. Next episode, we get to we get to talk about a spoiled child who's gonna be kidnapped Or is he? Sort of. Maybe.
Sarah:Dun dun dun.
Mark:And then we will follow that up with 420 Blackbirds, which is fantastic. It has naked bits in it. 3rd floor flat, which I love. That's one of my very favorite
Sarah:That's another earworm episode.
Mark:Yes.
Sarah:Life is just a bowl of cherries. Yes. It gets in your head.
Mark:It's sneaking around in the garbage bin.
Sarah:Hindustan.
Mark:It's garbage bin staircase. Triangle roads will remix after that because we did it already, and it's fantastic in problem. Let's see
Sarah:after that. Oh, fun. I'm looking forward to every one of them. We're gonna have a great day. Absolutely.
Sarah:So Alright, maniacs. Until next time.
Mark:Bye, maniacs.
Sarah:Bye, maniacs.
Mark:Thanks for joining us on the Mystery Maniacs podcast. If you enjoyed our crazy podcast today, don't miss out on future episodes. Follow us on social media for updates, beyond the scenes content, and exclusive sneak peeks. Subscribe, like, and share to spread the word. Bye, maniacs.
Sarah:No. No. But, like, you'd be as frustrated of, great. I have to cut that out now.
