Episode 203 | Mystery Maniacs | Poirot | "The King Of Clubs" | Don’t Sit In The Worst Murder Chairs!
Is that blood spurt?
Mark:Yes.
Sarah:Okay. Hey, maniacs. Hey.
Mark:Sure is dusty in here.
Sarah:Maniacs. There's a podcast I listen to that comes out really irregularly, like, once every, like, 3 or 4 months, and they always start, and we're back. I kinda feel like we should say that, and we're back.
Mark:I'm kinda like, do we do a podcast anymore?
Sarah:Yes. Yes. We do.
Mark:The podcast is Mystery Maniacs. Mystery Maniacs is a comedy recap podcast dedicated to mystery TV. Each week, we dig into an episode of a show, including the murders, the mayhem, the loonies, and everything else we love. This week, the king of clubs.
Sarah:Poirot season 1 episode 9.
Mark:Our 200 and third episode. Woo hoo. I'm Mark.
Sarah:I'm Sarah. Man, the month since we did our live show has been crazy. Like, up to, like, today, it's crazy.
Mark:My friend Danish asked me what I did on Friday. I said nothing.
Sarah:Here's a here's a little recap. Okay? This is just a little quick summary of the last month in the lives of the maniacs. Are you ready?
Mark:Yes.
Sarah:So we did our tea with the maniacs live episode.
Mark:But that was on April 27, 2024, which feels like 4 months ago.
Sarah:Yes. Including the first 7 minutes where we had no sound for no reason whatsoever. That was fun and stressful.
Mark:Completely forgot about that until you mentioned it.
Sarah:I'm sorry to bring that back to you. So school ended. 3 of our kids graduated.
Mark:Yes.
Sarah:One of them moved from Washington DC to Seattle, Washington.
Mark:Yes. That's the whole lot.
Mark:The country.
Sarah:It was my birthday.
Mark:Yes.
Sarah:Then it was Mother's Day. Yes. We got a new couch. Yes.
Mark:We got a new to assemble.
Sarah:That we had to assemble.
Mark:And then we had to get rid of the other couch.
Sarah:It came in so many boxes.
Mark:So many boxes.
Sarah:We filled 2 dumpsters from our house. Yes. That was exciting.
Mark:We're really not trashy people. I promise.
Sarah:Your mom got admitted to the hospital. She is out now and and doing better.
Mark:She's doing better. And and I went to Canada to see her.
Sarah:You were away for 7 days?
Mark:I was I was only away for 5 days.
Sarah:Approximately 2 hours after you left
Mark:Yes.
Sarah:I went to work, drove the car that you usually drive
Mark:Yes.
Sarah:Which I call the jalopy.
Mark:We call the little car.
Sarah:I call it the jalopy. Got out of the car and got went into the back of the car to get a few things and realized the license plate was not up to date. No. It was not only expired. It was expired by 2 years.
Sarah:2 years, I had not paid the My husband forgot to renew the license plate Which is for 2 years.
Mark:It still bothers me because
Sarah:I don't know how this happened.
Mark:I went through all my email. I went through all my tasks. Yes. I have an electronic list of my tasks.
Sarah:I called him. Honey, are you aware of this? Is the sticker falling off or something? Like, surely, you haven't forgotten to do this for 2 years. So then he's like, holy moly.
Sarah:How did that happen? Do you want me to turn around and come home? Like, no. Go see your mom. Go go go go go.
Sarah:Right? This car is only in Mark's name, so I can't do anything about it while he's gone. Alright?
Mark:Luckily, I didn't worry at all.
Sarah:No. I go in, tell one of my coworkers whose son is a policeman, and she says, oh, that's really bad. You know, if you get pulled over, they'll impound your car and suspend your license for 6 months.
Mark:Yeah. But she also, like, goaded you every time she you drove it.
Sarah:And I'm like, what?
Mark:I'm not sure if you could believe her.
Sarah:I have to do it. So I spent a week basically creeping to work down the back roads of Bloomington on roads where I thought I wouldn't see a policeman. Like, if there was an alley, I took it to and from work.
Mark:While I was in Canada. I had a good time in Canada, but and actually relaxed and did some fun stuff. But
Sarah:And saw your mom and
Mark:your siblings and that was great. Siblings and
Sarah:And lots of friends.
Mark:Yep.
Sarah:Then you came home and our cat promptly got very, very sick. Very sick. 14 year old Lucy, short for Lucy Furr, and we had to put her to sleep 2 days ago. Yes. So the whole house is incredibly upset about that.
Mark:Yes.
Sarah:And we have to teach 2 kids how to drive this summer.
Mark:Yes.
Sarah:Let's make a podcast.
Mark:Yep. Seriously need to make this podcast.
Sarah:I need this podcast. I need this hour and a half of laughing and not thinking about all the crap that I just listed. Oh, you It's been nuts.
Mark:You people at home must be like, whatever. Everybody's got a busy life.
Sarah:I think they do. I think everybody could make a list like that.
Mark:Yep. We made a video about it.
Sarah:We make a video about it. Oh, and we also completely emptied the the garage, which is Halloween zone.
Mark:Oh, 2 newsletters too. You forgot those.
Sarah:Yeah. And I built a gigantic shelving unit that's 8 feet tall and 16 feet long Yeah. And reorganized the entire garage, hence the 2 dumpsters. I was really looking forward to just hey. Let's just talk about Poirot for an hour.
Sarah:That would be fun. That'd be really fun.
Mark:We have a lot of new listeners. I think the reels that I've been dropping, you know, like the kids say with the riz Mhmm. Has attracted some new listeners, both on the YouTubes and the other listeners. I can't believe you people. We had almost 7,000 downloads in the last month, and we haven't released an episode.
Mark:You are all fantastic.
Sarah:People are getting caught up Yeah. Which is great. So if you're new, welcome. We're so happy to have you. There's a subreddit for us.
Sarah:Go on there. Yeah.
Mark:Yeah. There was a whole discussion on the subreddit about listening to us in their sleep.
Sarah:That's been a conversation on and off for forever.
Mark:I know Danish was like, who listens to 12 times? I'm like, a lot of people listen to us 12 times.
Sarah:There's stuff that we've watched 12
Mark:times. Really popular.
Sarah:We fall asleep to to shows on the laptop quite often.
Mark:We're kind of an Internet thing.
Sarah:And you're just bragging to your friends now.
Mark:Just saying.
Sarah:Famous. You know?
Mark:Just saying. We've made money from YouTube. Have you made any money from YouTube?
Sarah:We've made $20 from YouTube.
Mark:No. No. No. We we we are about to get
Sarah:our 3rd check from YouTube. Our 3rd $20 check.
Mark:No. Our 3rd $100 check. Woah. Wait a minute. Yeah.
Mark:What what are you doing with that money?
Mark:It just goes into
Sarah:the bank account. Your bank account?
Mark:Yes.
Sarah:Uh-huh. That's convenient.
Mark:Do we really wanna talk about that? Pet bills.
Sarah:Yeah. Our our pet insurance, Mark takes the dog to the vet and or big stuff for very expensive medicine and then submits the insurance claim, and then they reimburse my bank account. I like how it works. It works out perfectly. So, long story short, welcome to the podcast.
Sarah:If you're new, we're so glad that you're here. We hope that you'll enjoy it. There's a lot of big back catalog. Go dig in. Join the subreddit.
Mark:Some of our listeners. Some of our listeners asked if we had merch. We do have merch. It's available on our Spreadshirt, which is on all of the links and on our YouTube page.
Sarah:We haven't released any new merch lately. No. I'd like to do that this summer. A couple of new things. So if you have demands, ideas, let me know.
Mark:Suggested, and we we should talk about this very briefly. We know some of you would like us to cover broken wood, and we watched the first episode of broken wood about the dinosaurs
Sarah:The new season. Yeah.
Mark:And, someone suggested we take the logo from Frodo's coffee van and put it on a T shirt because it is the the what they do with Frodo's van, the coffee truck Yeah. In the dinosaur episode is fantastic.
Sarah:Yeah. He even puts dinosaurs on his Zarfs. Yes. If you don't know what a Zarf is, it's that little sleeve that goes around the coffee cup.
Mark:Yes.
Sarah:It's one of my favorite weird words.
Mark:And there has been a conspiracy where, conspiracy going around. We weren't the first people to mention it that the, the episode of Broken Wood mentions Bloomington, Indiana, where we are from, and Indian Indiana University Mhmm. Where we both work.
Sarah:Mhmm.
Mark:And we were like, oh, isn't that cute? And people were like, no. They love you. They're sending you a signal. Sending you a signal.
Sarah:We have to cover broken wood next.
Mark:We don't know what we're covering it. We don't know what we're doing this afternoon.
Sarah:We're winging it, people. But today, we get to talk about king of clubs.
Mark:So this is like okay. It is impossible to not look at this episode based on its original air date, which is 12th March 1989, it was a different time.
Sarah:How does that impact a show set in the thirties?
Mark:The fact that, the horrible Harvey Weinstein character
Mark:isn't more horrible. Reed Byrne?
Mark:Yeah. Like hey, doll.
Sarah:You thought about my offer?
Mark:His Let me let you on
Sarah:a cigar.
Mark:His administrative assistant is weird. It's it's just strange.
Sarah:Unfortunately, it's quite realistic.
Mark:Yes. And I wish I wish it could have done a little more with like had the administrative assistant and, what's your name? Valerie. Valerie talk.
Sarah:Yeah.
Mark:Like she could have warned her about Reburn.
Sarah:Sister to sister, they could have supported each other a bit.
Mark:Because I I've heard women talk.
Sarah:We do. Men talk too, though.
Mark:So that's
Sarah:true. Men can be quite catty.
Mark:So March 1989, directed by Reni Rai and written by Michael Baker. We start in the desert.
Sarah:I have to say, I remember when this aired the first time.
Mark:You do?
Sarah:Yeah.
Mark:Wow.
Sarah:I do. Because I would have been a freshman in high school, and I remember my mom and I looking forward to David Suchet's Poirot. Yes. And I specifically remember this episode because I find the plot kind of disappointing.
Mark:I I don't think it was being shown in Canada. The people I was hanging around with would have wanted to watch this. I don't know why we didn't.
Sarah:I I will always remember the first time I saw the the Edward Gorey opening for PBS Mystery.
Mark:I know I know we watched Mystery.
Sarah:With the little So
Mark:lady on the bus. Know I don't know why we didn't watch this and we might not have got it in Canada. It's it's weird. So boy.
Sarah:6 people in this episode have been in Midsummer, by
Mark:the way.
Mark:Wow. Yeah. And Sean Petrie who I'm like, Pertwee. Isn't he in Midsummer?
Sarah:Yes.
Mark:Oh, he is? Oh, I didn't know he was
Sarah:Oh, no. No. I'm sorry.
Mark:No. He's not in Midsummer, but he's the kinda guy who should be in Midsummer.
Sarah:His dad, though, was John Pertwee, and he was the 3rd doctor who. Yes. The one who really launched the scarf.
Mark:Yes. Imagine growing up as a kid and having doctor who's your dad.
Mark:Wow. That would
Mark:be super cool.
Sarah:Well, that's a cool acting family that touches this episode, but not anything close to Neve Susiak. Yes. Cusack. Sorry. Yep.
Sarah:Who plays Valerie.
Mark:Who is the
Sarah:She's missus M's sister.
Mark:Yeah. Sasha, Cusack. Cusack's sister.
Sarah:Yeah. And you
Mark:could see as soon as you say that, you're like
Sarah:Oh, yeah. They got the same face.
Mark:Yeah. Yeah.
Sarah:And their other sister is married to Jeremy Irons. Yes. And, like, the whole family, the whole Cusack family.
Mark:Never speak to your brother.
Sarah:To know whether John Cusack, the American actor, is related to him.
Mark:Sister, John Cusack. Yeah. Yeah.
Sarah:If they're related.
Mark:I don't know. Being interesting to know. Boy, I'm gonna say this yet again because it's season 1 of Poirot. There's a lot of extras and money in this episode. Yeah.
Mark:There's a horse.
Sarah:Yeah. Horses are
Mark:expensive, man. Especially a horse inside.
Sarah:In the just the insurance around having a horse on set. Like, what if it kicks somebody in the head or something? You know?
Mark:And we have this weird
Sarah:Not that horses are prone to do that.
Mark:We have this weird framing because it's movie magic time.
Sarah:We're making a movie.
Mark:So it We're on
Sarah:a weird sound stage.
Mark:And we find out that the the desert is painted and that there's flames, open flames.
Sarah:Yeah. In front of a matte painting to make it look like the the desert is so hot.
Mark:Which I'm like, the the open flames around that film at that point in time would have been like, don't do that.
Sarah:Yeah. Let's not. They are, not in a silent movie.
Mark:No. They're also in the thirties.
Sarah:But they are in a black and white movie.
Mark:They're in a black and white movie.
Sarah:And yet they over act like they're in a silent movie.
Mark:This is the transition out of silent movies to talkies. Mhmm. Like, it took them a while to figure it out. It was like CGI in the nineties. Everybody was like, it's not good.
Sarah:I I'm fascinated by what they had to do to make black and white movies look normal.
Mark:Well, they had a whole different makeup. Right?
Sarah:It's incredibly different. Like, every color on a human's face would have looked weird. Like, to make your lips look red, you wore green lipstick. Yeah. And their eyeshadow was, like, super blue and their blush was blue to make their their cheeks look rosy, you wore blue.
Mark:Well, when you when you see film from this period of normal people, not movie stars
Sarah:Mhmm.
Mark:They look gaunt.
Sarah:Yeah. They look super washed out and, like, shadowy.
Mark:Yep. And then when you see the movie stars, they look all beautiful because they're wearing different makeup.
Sarah:Yeah. And tons of it. Yes. I mean, everybody wears tons of makeup on camera, but it's well, we'll we're gonna post a link. I found a great TikTok video of a of a woman who really knows what she's talking about and she does her makeup.
Sarah:She draws a line down the center of her face. Oh, that's nice. One side in the traditional, like, twenties, thirties makeup style, and she does the other side for black and white.
Mark:Oh, cool. And shows you
Sarah:the difference, and then she shows her face in in black and white.
Mark:Oh, that's super cool.
Sarah:It's amazing. Yeah. That's cool. She looks like a freaky zombie.
Mark:I'll put that in the show notes for sure.
Sarah:You go black and white, and she looks beautiful.
Mark:Yes.
Sarah:It's weird. Makeup artist must have just, I don't know, wore black and white goggles or something when they did makeup. They'd want to.
Mark:Okay. Redburn is horrible. He's blackmailing her. Yeah. Okay?
Mark:He's screaming on the set. He's a bad boss.
Sarah:He's not the director of
Mark:the movie.
Sarah:He shouldn't even be there.
Mark:He shouldn't even be there, but he's kinda right that she counts to 5 really fast.
Sarah:What did they say for 5? And he's totally right that Ralph is super drunk, can't remember his lines, and can't act. Yes. Did you notice that Hastings almost runs over a guy when they pull into the studio gates?
Mark:Does indeed almost run into a guy. And the and the the suits on the security guys
Sarah:They are really official.
Mark:They're like they have like
Sarah:Belgian military or
Mark:something. Belgian military.
Sarah:They have epaulettes. They have the cords. They have gloves on.
Mark:Damn. Hats. Like, the the security guys are kinda crazy.
Sarah:They're very formal security guys.
Mark:Let's take a short break. So there Poirot and Hastings are there to see Bunny.
Sarah:Mhmm. Who is Who's actually the director.
Mark:Who's in the
Sarah:actually the director. He's an old friend of Hastings.
Mark:Yes.
Sarah:Oh, boy.
Mark:Old boy.
Sarah:Bunny has gotta be a public school nickname.
Mark:Lots of lots of network here. Old boy network.
Sarah:But then the prince shows up. Yeah.
Mark:So he's he's the prince of what country does he
Sarah:Morania.
Mark:Moraine yeah. That's a made up place. Totally. In this In the story he talks about the emperor and his brother, his older brother. So he's 3rd in line, 2nd in line to the throne here.
Mark:He's like the young playboy son.
Sarah:That's not all that far away though.
Mark:No. I mean, dad
Sarah:gets old, you bump your brother off and you're in charge.
Mark:And you're kinda talking about, like, you know, like, he's still called your highness and Poirot is like talks to him like he was in a case with him.
Sarah:Yeah. Like Poirot's done done something for the royal family to avoid a scandal.
Mark:Now in a later Poirot episode, there's a horrible prince.
Sarah:Mhmm.
Mark:I keep getting these 2 guys mixed up even though one is horrible, and one has a horrible apartment.
Sarah:The other one is like the prince of Egypt.
Mark:Egypt. Yeah.
Sarah:It's And he's a spoiled brat
Mark:Yes.
Sarah:Who throws a giant ruby around.
Mark:Yes. Paul doesn't seem to be that spoiled except for His horrible room. We'll get to it. Oh, it's so bad. So Reburn Reburn gets the actress in his office.
Sarah:He says he wants to see Valerie alone.
Mark:Yes. And he wants to he's horrible. He he's like, what have you thought about my proposal?
Sarah:He's trying to put the moves on her.
Mark:And I'm just He's blackmailing her. And you're just
Sarah:background.
Mark:Looking at movie posters. In the background, there's La Cucaracha.
Sarah:La Cucaracha.
Mark:Which is
Sarah:Which is the cockroach.
Mark:Right? A 1934 short, senior Martinez, a famous theater owner, visits a local cafe in Mexico because of a reputation for good food and the addition of a famous dancer who performs there.
Sarah:Okay. I don't wanna associate La Cucaracha and a restaurant.
Mark:Neither do I.
Sarah:Good food and cockroaches don't go together. 1934. Is he the cockroach?
Mark:I don't know.
Sarah:Is she the cockroach?
Mark:I don't I do not know. Okay. Okay.
Sarah:I was interested in the wax museum mystery.
Mark:Let me get to cross Coursera first.
Sarah:Why you gotta do them in that order?
Mark:Because Coursera has probably the best single sentence. Okay.
Mark:Synopsis? Synopsis as possible.
Mark:Are you
Mark:ready for this?
Sarah:I'm ready.
Mark:A stockbroker plans to liven up his boring life by taking up piracy on the high seas.
Sarah:A totally normal second career.
Mark:Yes. Absolutely. And then finally, the mystery of the wax museum from 1933.
Sarah:Which I'm sorry. It just looks like an excuse to have a lot of naked boobies and movie posters.
Mark:Faye Ray.
Sarah:Because they're wax.
Mark:Yeah. Faye Ray was already, unfortunately, pegged as a woman who would show too much skin. So
Sarah:It's not her. Yeah. It's not her.
Mark:It's not.
Sarah:It's a Bettie Page looking woman. She's got short she's got black hair with short bangs.
Mark:Yeah.
Sarah:And they've apparently the main character, the evil wax guy murders women and then molds their bodies in wax so he can capture them forever. Precode
Mark:the do you know what rating it is on IMDB? So not not the star rating, but like r or PG. No. Passed. So it's pre Hays Code stuff.
Mark:Through. And it got through.
Sarah:There are boobies on the posters Yeah. But they're wax boobies.
Mark:The new version of this movie, it it's been restored beautifully and colorized by the George Lucas Family Foundation.
Sarah:That's cool.
Mark:The trailer for it on IMDB is just beautiful.
Sarah:But none of this matters because all I can look at is Valerie's jacket.
Mark:You mean the furry fur town of Ferville?
Sarah:It looks like it has okay. So if you if you didn't notice it, first of all, we'll put a picture up of it. But think about the the jackets that were really popular in the late eighties like the Bon Jovi jackets that had the leather fringe
Mark:Yes.
Sarah:On, like, a jean jacket
Mark:Yes.
Sarah:Right? That went, like, in a v from the front across the shoulders and across the back. I'm halfway there. You're living on a prayer.
Mark:Yep.
Sarah:Valerie is living in a jacket where that fringe has been replaced with, like, rat tails.
Mark:Yep. Furry rat tails.
Sarah:They're gross. Yeah. I don't know what they are. I'm sure it's accurate to the period. It's nasty.
Sarah:It looks like mouse butts on jacket.
Mark:Yes.
Sarah:100 of them.
Mark:Don't call me Henry. I have a nice lighter. It's one of those gigantic lighters.
Sarah:Reburn is the worst.
Mark:But Paul's reading pictorialweekly.
Sarah:I don't I don't know what he sees in her. And, you know, he's he's financially supporting the production of the movie. Yep. But if they get married, she doesn't have to work. No.
Sarah:So I I don't know.
Mark:It's weird. Let us all go to the house that's white in England that is for all Art Deco storylines.
Sarah:This is not the same house that we see in other Poirot episodes where we have a white Percoco.
Mark:It's pretty darn close.
Sarah:But they're all very close when they're built in this era. But Reed Byrne has colored light bulbs inside.
Mark:There's and red. It's Christmas at the Reeburn.
Sarah:His whole house is like a set. It's really weird.
Mark:The the the fountain in the center of the
Mark:house foyer? In the foyer.
Sarah:With the dogs next to it. That looks like a kiddie pool with plastic leaves around it.
Mark:And the giant statues. The thing about the the fountain is we see it in one shot, and then we don't hear it or see it again because, obviously, the sound guy went, no. No. No. No.
Sarah:No. Half the people who were in that shot immediately had to go pee because that sound makes everybody do that.
Mark:They're they're watching the days dailies. That's what they're called. And the 2 most, contradictory words come out of Reed Bird's mouth.
Sarah:Sex appeal. When they come out of his mouth
Mark:Yes. There's the wild demon that is in the way of women.
Sarah:Bunny has an amazing sweater on.
Mark:Bunny has Bunny's clothes are kinda cool.
Sarah:Yeah. His sweater is great. Hastings has a really good sweater on when they go to visit the studio. Yes. It's like a cable knit, but you have to have a giraffe neck like like he does to be able to pull that sweater off.
Mark:So let's go over the timeline really closely here. So Bunny and Reburn are there. Mhmm. And then Bunny leaves, and he's almost run over by Ralph.
Sarah:Bunny has to put on his giant fur coat first.
Mark:Wow. Such a big fur coat.
Sarah:How many animals died for that coat?
Mark:I don't
Sarah:Like, at least 3 bears to make that coat.
Mark:And it makes him not fit in his car.
Sarah:It barely fits in his car.
Mark:And his car if you watch really closely, his car doesn't work all that well.
Sarah:No. Doesn't matter. Yeah. So Bunny's there watching the dailies. He leaves Yes.
Sarah:At, like, 9:30.
Mark:Something like that.
Sarah:Something like that. He leaves. Meanwhile, Valerie has gotten in a cab. It's raining. And gets dropped off at the gate of Reedburn's house, sees Bunny leave, and then rushes up to the house in the rain getting her big bow wet.
Sarah:But what we know is Valerie's brother
Mark:is waiting outside of Reeburn's office Mhmm.
Sarah:I guess. Ronnie.
Mark:And goes in to see him as they drive past Ralph. The tramp camp.
Sarah:Oh, they refer to them as gypsies. Again, it ages this. They're travelers. We'll call them travelers. Soon, they're gonna be shoeless travelers.
Sarah:Jap.
Mark:Jap is so he's fun in this episode, but he's there for relief.
Sarah:So Valerie finds Reed Byrne dead, runs out, goes to a nearby house.
Mark:The Oglander's? Oglander's. What a weird name.
Sarah:They call the police. Yes. And then Paul, his highness, wakes up Poirot and says, we need your help.
Mark:Okay. Poirot from his sleep where he's lying on his back with his hands folded in front of him And
Sarah:his slippers strategically placed next to the bed. Everything is perfect. Yes. He always sleeps like that. Every time we see him, it's like that.
Mark:But we have to talk about Paul's room.
Sarah:What a nightmare Paul's room is.
Mark:What What? What is Paul?
Sarah:It's like he lives on a stage. Okay? It's like a sound stage that they've turned into a bedroom.
Mark:So I'm looking at the picture right now. All of the furniture is white and gold Yes. Which is a problem right away.
Mark:It's it's it's totally Marie Antoinette looking furniture. Matches the phone, which is black and gold
Mark:And his robe. And his robe.
Sarah:But the walls are what I don't understand. Blue
Mark:stripes and polka dots. It's like graffiti.
Mark:Yeah.
Sarah:It looks like somebody spray painted the walls with blue spray paint in a big wavy pattern and then put little dots in between the lines. It looks totally slapdash. The floor is like a polished white. Everything is away from the walls. It looks like a set.
Sarah:And
Mark:and there's a chair right beside the bed that you would run into if you got out
Sarah:of there. Every time you got in and out.
Mark:Every single time you got in
Sarah:and out. I just don't understand. It's so Like, they could have hung curtains all the way around.
Mark:Yeah.
Sarah:And it would have looked more like an actual bedroom. I don't know what they were thinking. I don't know if they had to, like, fill it in later. Like, we need this phone call. We've gotta put Paul in something.
Sarah:Let's just go to a sound stage. We'll put some furniture in there and have him talk on the phone. It it's just bizarre. If I'm Valerie and I'm marrying this guy, I'm like, okay. Number 1, after we get married, this room, we're changing this.
Mark:Speaking speaking of weird rooms and things in weird rooms, two things. 1, first of all, Reburn has the same pictures in his office that he has in his office at home.
Sarah:All the headshots are
Mark:the same. Are exactly the same. But more importantly, it's the world's most uncomfortable chairs.
Sarah:Well, it's clear that Reburn has money, but no taste whatsoever. The world's most uncomfortable chairs who also which also become murder weapons are cubes of marble Yes. With a cushion on them.
Mark:With a bad cushion on them. Like, you would slip off that instantaneous.
Sarah:It looks like an old beat up cushion from a different chair.
Mark:Yeah.
Sarah:Oh, and gold lions glued to the front. Yeah.
Mark:They are bizarre. Never mind the red lights
Sarah:in it's just Everything about it is tacky.
Mark:That chair without a doubt is £200.
Sarah:Oh, way more than that. Not more than that. £500 at least. And there's 2 of them and they have the sharpest angles. Why he hit his head on the lion and not on the edge of the arm of the chair which would absolutely put your eye out.
Mark:There are clearly no toddlers at at Oh. You don't
Sarah:think Reeburn has toddlers come over to play?
Mark:I don't think so.
Sarah:I don't think children have ever been in this house. I don't think Reburn would allow children to be within a 100 feet of him. He's a jerk.
Mark:So the idea is that we have to keep discretion, and we'll come back to this because it's problematic.
Sarah:Mhmm. His house is called Mont Desir.
Mark:Yes.
Sarah:It's the mountain of desire. Do you need to know anything else about him?
Mark:Well, he's got Peter Frampton as his
Sarah:Butler. I'm
Mark:Frampton. Peter Frampton. Do you feel like I do?
Sarah:That's the only Peter Frampton song I know. Wow.
Mark:I know what you are going for, but that is the worst Peter Frampton at.
Sarah:Oh, can you do better? No. Okay then. No. Then mine's better than yours.
Mark:So then Poirot and Hastings come and ruin every crime scene in this episode.
Mark:They're horrendous. They touch everything.
Mark:They like, he might as well have stuck his finger in the blood and smeared it around a little bit. He steals the evidence of the playing card later on. He's so bad at keeping the crime scene in this episode.
Sarah:I think Poirot knows this isn't actually a murder murder from the very beginning.
Mark:Oh, I think so.
Sarah:And doesn't care about forensics. No. They didn't really have him anyway, but he knows none of this is going to court almost immediately. What I found funny was that Peter Frampton runs straight over to the body and Japs says, don't touch that.
Mark:Yeah.
Sarah:That. Not no. No. Don't touch him, sir. No.
Sarah:Like, the man you work for is dead. You're clearly upset. Even if he's a jerk, you work for him. You're gonna be upset. Don't touch that.
Sarah:That being that man That man. Who's been dead for, like, an hour. He's probably still warm. Don't touch that.
Mark:But Wait for Poirot to get here and
Mark:touch it.
Sarah:The interplay no. The body's already gone when they get there. The interplay between Jap and Poirot in this episode is funny because
Mark:It is the best thing about the episode.
Sarah:Poirot is flattering to JAP Yep. To keep him on side Yep. Because Poirot knows there's no real crime to solve. No. But Jap is gracious too.
Sarah:Yes. You know, like, because he knows. But initially, when he comes in, he's like, oh, it's you again. And you think, is Jack gonna be confrontational?
Mark:And then, nah. I'm not.
Mark:And then he goes to the willows to talk to the Oglander's, and the first thing they say is the police told us not to touch everything in this room. And what does do? Touch everything.
Mark:Touches everything in the room. If
Sarah:the police told you that a room of your house was potentially part of a crime and you should leave it alone and not move anything, is that where you would have visitors wait?
Mark:I do not think so.
Sarah:No. You put them in the downing room or something.
Mark:Dozy Belgian
Sarah:ones. But the Oglander's are completely up to a big conspiracy.
Mark:Yes.
Sarah:And they know it. They're all involved. And as soon as Poirot shows up, mama Oglander certainly knows the jig is gonna be up. This guy is gonna figure us out.
Mark:Yeah. I think she knows that it's all gonna fall apart pretty quickly. My daughter died. Drowned. It's really sad.
Sarah:We don't talk about her. We don't remember her name or anything.
Mark:She's upstairs.
Sarah:We cut a hole in all of our pictures where she used
Mark:to be. No. No. We're all wrong. It's somebody with hobnail boots.
Sarah:Oh, it's one of those travelers did it. Chap and the gypsies. Yeah. Dirty dirty hobnail boots, obviously. Clearly.
Sarah:Clearly. Even the children have to give up their boots. Come on.
Mark:Yeah.
Sarah:Jap, really? Tag them and bag them. Those poor people had to go without shoes until they showed them all to Valerie. Are these the shoes? Are these the shoes?
Sarah:Are these the shoes?
Mark:So do you
Sarah:At least she had the decency to say no to all of them and not frame a poor person who had nothing to do with it.
Mark:And this is, like okay. So this is what we are led to believe. We're led to believe that this starlet is just so upset by what she sees. She runs screaming into the night. Right?
Mark:Finds the next house over where they're playing bridge, because they're always playing bridge, with 51 cards. And they go in the house, and they say, that's sorry. Let's call the police and your fiance. Oh, you can stay here now. 4 days.
Mark:4 days. We had an extra room, so we gave it to you.
Sarah:We couldn't just send for a a cab or your fiance come and get you and take you home to your home.
Mark:Strangely enough, all the room clothes in that room fit you.
Sarah:Okay. Let's let's just talk about what supposedly happened. Okay? We're a spoiler podcast. Everybody knows that.
Mark:Yeah.
Sarah:Reed Byrne was killed in an accident when Ronnie punched him in the face and he fell and hit his head. Okay?
Mark:Yes.
Sarah:Really, it's the cover up that is interesting here and frankly, I still don't know exactly what happened. Yes. Alright?
Mark:It is because we see her leave the house and then we see a man leave the house.
Mark:It's Ronnie. Yep.
Sarah:Alright. I'm gonna give you the rundown, I think. Okay. And then you tell me if you agree.
Mark:Okay.
Sarah:Reid Byrne confronts Valerie at the studios and says, you need to come to my house tonight.
Mark:Yes. For the nookie nookie, or I'm gonna tell your fiance that your dad's a bad dude.
Sarah:Yes. To discuss the blackmail. Yes. Okay. So she has to go, but she knows she shouldn't be alone with Redburn.
Sarah:She's promised Paul that she won't be.
Mark:Yes.
Sarah:Right? So she arranges with her brother
Mark:To be able to
Sarah:who just lives next door. What do you know?
Mark:What do you know? Played by Sean Pertwee.
Sarah:It's not pee wee or purty or
Mark:Did you see what his first credit was? I don't know if he looked it up. He said prick up your ears with everyone else.
Sarah:Oh, did you know the guy who plays Wreck It Ralph the drunk actor is Zoe Wanamaker's husband?
Mark:No. I didn't know that.
Mark:Yeah.
Sarah:That's interesting. Husband. That's interesting. Okay. Anyway.
Sarah:Yes. Valerie arranges with Ronnie. Ronnie, you come over. Stand outside these French doors. I'm gonna talk to him.
Sarah:If things get bad, come in.
Mark:Yes.
Sarah:I I might need your help.
Mark:1 one would call that some some preplanning.
Sarah:I'm giving her the benefit of the doubt. Alright? That she doesn't wanna I wouldn't wanna be alone with him.
Mark:No. I wouldn't wanna be alone with him. She confronts him.
Mark:I wouldn't wanna be in the same room as those chairs. No. I'm scared of them.
Sarah:They get to arguing about the black male. Ronnie feels like she's unsafe. So he comes in. He confronts, Reed Byrne. They get in a fight.
Sarah:Gives him the punch. He punches Reed Burn right between the eyes apparently on his nose and Reed Burn falls back, hits his head on the line. Not the sharp part, the dull line part. Yep. Bust his heads open and dies.
Sarah:Okay? Is that blood spurting?
Mark:Yes.
Sarah:Okay. Now the siblings panic. Right?
Mark:And they all go back?
Sarah:No. No. No. They need to make it look like it was a murder.
Mark:Yes. Why? I I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.
Mark:That man was unsafe by himself in that room with those chairs.
Sarah:Yeah. What they could have done right then and there is left. Nobody had seen them come or go. They could have left, said nothing, done nothing. Frampton would have found Reburn the next day.
Mark:Yep. Nobody in Frampton's like, there's women through here all the time.
Sarah:Nobody would have known what happened. Okay? But for some reason, they feel like everybody's gonna know that Valerie was there so we need a more believable story.
Mark:Yes.
Sarah:So they move the body next to the other window Yes. Where if she had been standing there, she would have seen the willows. Yes. And that's why she ran there after finding the body.
Mark:Who are supposedly playing cards, but we see that they're not playing cards.
Sarah:Not downstairs to find Frampton and say call the police. He's dead. No. Right? No.
Sarah:She's willing to admit she was there and found the body, but has to run away.
Mark:I guess.
Sarah:I don't get it. No. So she runs next door, which happens to be her family's house, but we don't know that yet. Tells them the guy next door is dead. Call the police.
Mark:Well, no. Okay. Right. This is what we're supposed to believe
Sarah:she did.
Mark:Yes. We're supposed to believe that.
Sarah:And her whole family says, great. We'll give you an alibi. We knew you and Ronnie were going over there to confront him. We'll pretend we were playing cards, and you just came to the window.
Mark:It sucks to be a parent when your children come home and say we accidentally murdered the neighbor who's blackmailing us.
Sarah:Oh, I guess we gotta pretend we were playing cards again.
Mark:Get the cards out.
Sarah:Even though dad appears to have had a stroke and doesn't speak or walk, but he can play bridge?
Mark:We've played lots of rubbers. I hate
Sarah:that they call them rubbers.
Mark:Why can't they just be round? Why do they have
Mark:to be rougher? We've had 4 glanslams.
Mark:Glanslamslams. Glanslams.
Sarah:I don't understand bridge. We've talked about that before. Anyway, you were saying
Mark:So they have to explain that they killed him, and then they come up with this idea.
Sarah:Yeah. I assume that the family knows Ronnie's going to meet her next door.
Mark:I would assume so. Right. Where's Ronnie? Well, he's pushing dad around the backyard.
Sarah:So they know their neighbor is a jerk. Yep. They know he's blackmailing their daughter who they pretend is dead.
Mark:It's important to leave your evidence lying around as Poirot disturbs the crime scene.
Sarah:Yes. So they pretend they were playing cards because they couldn't have been sitting in the living room doing individual activities. No. When Valerie came to the window and they let her in and she says, there's been a murder next door. Oh my gosh.
Mark:And the thing is this this mirrors 2 things. 1, it mirrors the Sherlock Holmes where the guy shows up at the window, sees the family playing bridge, and they're all freaking out. Yes. So it mirrors that
Sarah:doesn't know what they're what's happening to them.
Mark:And, obviously And
Sarah:then they're all dead.
Mark:That would have been in Christie's idea. Yeah. 2nd of all, this is really a like a lot of her short stories, this is a preview for the jewel thief episode where remember there's a tramp and Hastings is searching for the tramp Yeah. And the duchess is all involved. I think this is a precursor for that story.
Sarah:They're also creating an alibi for Ronnie. Yes. Right? Because nobody wants Ronnie to get in trouble. No.
Sarah:I think he's young. I think he's, like, 18 or something.
Mark:He's so young in this.
Sarah:But I think he's supposed to be young, So they don't want him to get in trouble. So but everybody's saying we were all here playing cards. Did you recognize the mother, by the way? Missus Oglander?
Mark:Really familiar.
Sarah:She plays Mary Sharp, the old nanny in Badger's Drift.
Mark:That's right.
Sarah:She's the one who reveals to Barnaby that the siblings were doing the Bing. Incestuous.
Mark:Yeah. Bing.
Sarah:So I don't I don't think the whole family, like, contrived the whole plot in advance. I think it's a reaction to crap. Ronnie killed him. We've got to cover this up. But but if Ronnie had just gone home and she had gone to the other house, none of this needed to happen.
Mark:None of this needed to happen. Just like in the middle of a crime scene, in the middle of a murder But it is
Sarah:It's all physics and stuff. But it. But it is It's all physics and stuff. But they're all off their rocker on booze and drugs anyway. So who knows what they're saying.
Mark:It's such a weird part. Such
Sarah:like Did you notice that the big figure on the wall is holding a tinier one?
Mark:Yes.
Sarah:It's strange. I wonder if somebody made that for the episode or if it's an actual piece of art I don't know. That is in that that space already. I don't know.
Mark:Hey, buddy. Did you happen to see Ralph's boots as he drove past you? What kind of question is that?
Sarah:Hey. When you're drunk, you drive with your feet out the window. Woo hoo.
Mark:And there was a missing card. It's not missing. I stole it.
Sarah:I have it. What?
Mark:Go see Ralph at the hospital.
Sarah:Reedburn's desk at home is very cool.
Mark:Yeah. It is.
Sarah:It's, like, arched on the top, and when you open it, it has all of these, like, stacked compartments that are all curved. It's really neat and full of blackmail.
Mark:So then okay. So Hastings and Bunny are off at the cottage hospital talking to Ralph. So they're gone. Renny Wright must have had the day off, and David Lynch goes, I know I'm in England. So I'll come and direct the weirdest encounter ever between Poirot and the son and the father
Sarah:On the road.
Mark:The road.
Sarah:That is very strange.
Mark:It is so David Lynch.
Mark:See. Weird. I interpret that scene
Sarah:where Poirot walks past Ronnie and the dad, and then they look back at each other as we know, you know, and we really hope you're gonna keep our secret. Please keep our secret. I think that is
Mark:It's just filmed really weird.
Sarah:Fleeting. Yeah. Understanding look, and Poirot gives a nod and walks on Yeah. Like, you're safe with me.
Mark:So Should they be?
Mark:No. Poirot goes to the house, explains everything. The mom's like, yeah. We did it. Sean comes in and goes, that French guy is gonna know that we did it.
Sarah:You mean Ronnie? Yeah. Yeah. And Valerie's like, pssst. Barrow's like, hello.
Sarah:I'm here. I heard everything.
Mark:Then Hastings he goes back to Hastings and goes, oh, the case is closed.
Sarah:Hastings who's just hanging out in the room where the murder happened. Yes. We'll never know what happened. The end.
Mark:Yeah. There's no murder. Yeah. There is. It's an accident, but at the very least, it's premeditated manslaughter.
Sarah:I don't think it's premeditated because he didn't he didn't go in there with the intent of hurting him. He did it to defend his sister. So you could say that it's in self defense that he was coming to her defense.
Mark:Maybe. I mean, they
Sarah:could easily lie or tell the truth and say that Reeburn had grabbed her and was gonna hurt her. I'm not saying protected her.
Mark:Reeburn is a good guy. I'm saying he deserves justice. And the last part at the parade studio is like, all the good people who are white and male have killed all the bad people. So we're all happy now.
Sarah:And pretty rich people get away with it.
Mark:Yeah.
Sarah:Were you surprised there was a bar at the studio?
Mark:No. But I was where Ralph is.
Sarah:I know. But when they, like, kick him off the studio grounds, he just circles around and goes to the bar. Yes. Like, why why do they have a bar?
Mark:I don't know.
Sarah:I mean, I can see a commissary where
Mark:you could eat. And meanwhile, Hastings is like, but what about and they're like,
Sarah:zip it. Jeez, Hastings. It's do you think it's like you think we solve crimes. Come on.
Mark:I don't I don't like the ending.
Mark:We're just gonna make a movie. If you take this ending And compare it to the Orient Express When he's so mad at those people.
Mark:Yeah. Right? I think Christy had a change of thought between those two points. Mhmm. Because this is really the same story.
Sarah:No. It's not. Because Ronnie didn't intend to kill him. Okay. There wasn't a bunch of people premeditated conspiracy to kill him.
Sarah:He didn't stab him a bunch of times. That's different.
Mark:Okay. I didn't mean exactly
Sarah:See, no. Here's what
Mark:There's no training in this episode either.
Sarah:Here's what I think went wrong. Why this doesn't quite work the way we think it should. We should feel deeply sympathetic for Valerie and for Ronnie, and we should feel bad for them that they were ever in that situation and had to to do what they did.
Mark:I wish the dad hadn't embezzled a whole bunch of money in their hiding. Yes. I wish that didn't happen. Yes. And I wish that Valerie was more sympathetic.
Mark:I don't know.
Sarah:Take the blackmail away and he's just trying to seduce her and hold that over her for her career, it's a lot better.
Mark:It makes it better.
Sarah:Yeah. Because the family doesn't have an ulterior motive against Redburn because they it's not that they're just trying to protect Valerie. They're protecting themselves
Mark:Yeah.
Sarah:And they are guilty Yeah. Of embezzlement and changing their name and hiding their who they actually are. So the fact that he all that money? He's willing to expose them and expose their crimes makes them unsympathetic. If you take that away and it's just poor Valerie, a woman who's absolutely being abused by her employer Yes.
Sarah:Then it's all much more sympathetic.
Mark:And they could have come up with any name. Aucklanders is a weird choice, and where they live is a weird choice. The willows. Yeah. In fact, they would have moved there.
Sarah:Yeah. But then he comes along and builds Mount Desire next door. Niamh Cusack, who plays Valerie Yep. Was in Days of Misrule, midsummer. Jonathan Koi, who plays Bunny, is in Destroying Angel.
Mark:Yes. He
Sarah:is. Jack Claff, who plays Paul, is in dead in the water. Yep. He's also in Star Wars, the the first one. Yes.
Sarah:But we talked about that when he was in the midsummer. Yes. Gone Granger, who plays Ralph, is in A House in the Woods.
Mark:Yes. In fact, his picture on IMDB is same as Star Wars.
Sarah:Avril Elgar who plays missus Oglander is in Badger's Drift.
Mark:Yes.
Sarah:So many midsummer people.
Mark:Many midsummer people. They were really ramping up to midsummer.
Sarah:It's like they said, get us the cast of king of clubs, and we'll just put them in the show. Just get them as a set, and
Mark:we'll put them in. I actually think out of all these people, except for the regulars, Sean Pughtery is the most famous now.
Sarah:Pertwee? Yeah. I think so. Though, Rosie Timpson, who plays the secretary, who you're not crazy about
Mark:Yes.
Sarah:And Reed Byrne's secretary, was in a movie in 1993 called Farm Safety for Children. And I don't list it as a horrible movie and make you guess.
Mark:A, which is I would I would,
Sarah:I know you've never seen it.
Mark:Never seen it.
Sarah:And b, because I'm not willing to say it's horrible because it's it was made for a good reason.
Mark:It was probably a good reason. I didn't see any farm safety movies as a kid. I saw a lot of train safety movies.
Sarah:Well, we talked
Mark:about when
Mark:you They used to come to the school and show us these train safety movies all the time.
Sarah:Well, and we saw the drunk driving movies.
Mark:The Well, that was high school.
Sarah:They showed highway.
Mark:They showed the train ones to us in elementary school.
Sarah:This one is aimed at that generation. Yeah. Young young kids. Right? In the nineties.
Sarah:We talked about a movie that's older than this one called Apaches Yes. That's about farm safety that scarred a ton of kids.
Mark:Right? Absolutely.
Sarah:And maybe that makes it effective. It's 6 for you.
Mark:UK listeners are having flashbacks.
Sarah:Yeah. Farm safety for children is weird. Okay. Okay. So these 2 kids in the nineties
Mark:Yeah.
Sarah:They're wearing their Technicolor overalls and everything. They got their scrunchies and their jelly shoes.
Mark:Is it like on YouTube or something?
Mark:Yes.
Mark:Okay. I'll put it in the show notes.
Sarah:They are on a farm, and they come across an old grave. What? Okay. The grave is for a prior farmer that used to live there. Wow.
Sarah:And the farmer and his go well, his ghost comes
Mark:back. Oh, my gosh. This is so weird.
Sarah:And tells them about 3 children who died on the farm, but they weren't his children. No. They were paid laborers who he just kinda let die in all kinds of horrible ways.
Mark:Makes me dislike farms more than I already do. It is traumatic.
Sarah:Well It's not Apache's traumatic, but it's traumatic. I'll put
Mark:it in the show notes.
Sarah:But miss Deloy, the secretary is in that movie.
Mark:After the credits, are you rich, white, or a man? You get away scot free. Unless you poor pay Hastings. What about justice?
Sarah:Well and, like, Ralph is driving drunk and has an accident. He learned his lesson.
Mark:Now he's on set on time and not drunk.
Sarah:But in a sling. So they had to write a sling into his character, I guess, because he broke his collarbone
Mark:or whatever.
Mark:More sex appeal.
Sarah:He he crashed his little car, and now he's sober. Even though he's like a good 20 years older than her, he's playing her husband.
Mark:Yes.
Sarah:You know who I feel sorry for? The guy who plays her love interest in the movie.
Mark:You mean horse guy?
Sarah:Yeah. Yeah. Because all he does is is, like, I'm trying to seduce you.
Mark:Yeah.
Sarah:And then stop, cut, everybody gets yelled at, and he just disappears.
Mark:Yeah. I have
Sarah:an injury on my arm. Stop, cut, everybody screams at each other. Yep. Okay.
Mark:And that is
Sarah:King of clubs.
Mark:King of clubs.
Sarah:If only the mother had got all the cards out. If only None of this would have happened.
Mark:Only she hadn't went to her house.
Sarah:Valerie made some bad choices.
Mark:You know what's gonna happen next week? We're gonna have another episode Uh-huh. Called The Dream season 1 episode 10.
Mark:It's the pie man.
Mark:It's the pie man.
Sarah:And I just shoot
Mark:myself. Shoot myself.
Sarah:He says it, like, a gazillion times.
Mark:And hangs out the window and listens
Sarah:To a the whistle going off.
Mark:To a whistle going off. Off.
Sarah:Oh, so many pies.
Mark:Pies.
Sarah:It's when you watch it let me just give you a little tip. When you watch it, actually, look at the pie factory. Yeah. And decide whether it's a real pie factory, a factory that actually manufactures something else, or a cobbled together set to make it look like a pie factory.
Mark:I I
Sarah:It's very interesting.
Mark:I have a good feeling. That's next week, which will be June 3rd. I cannot believe I just said that. June. June.
Mark:Yeah. June. We'll have an episode It's a fun one. 3rd and then, another one on 10th June, and then we have to take more time off because we're still too busy.
Sarah:In the meantime, I wanna know, listeners, if you were Valerie, what would you have done?
Mark:Yes. Ugla uglaumber. Uglaender. Uglaender.
Sarah:Your brother punches your boss and accidentally kills him. What do you do?
Mark:And if Peter Frampton's grandfather was a butler
Sarah:Would he still feel like you do?
Mark:And there we have the sound of the start of the episode.
Sarah:That song goes on forever.
Mark:Well, yeah. It's Peter Frampton. It's the seventies.
Sarah:And his mouth tube
Mark:Frog rocks. Okay.
Sarah:Bye, maniacs.
Mark:Bye, maniacs. Thanks for joining us on the Mystery Maniacs podcast. If you enjoyed our crazy podcast today, don't miss out on future episodes. Follow us on social media for updates, beyond the scenes content, and exclusive sneak peeks. Subscribe, like, and share to spread the word.
Mark:Bye, maniacs. Play by Sean Poot Pete. Pete. Played by Birdswee.
