The Worst Book Club Ever! | Brokenwood | "A Real Page Turner" | Mystery Maniacs Podcast EP234
They rip it off at once. It's jupunk. It's gone. Right? Scream pain, pain, gone.
Sarah:Hey, maniacs.
Mark:Hey, maniacs. Mystery maniacs is a comedy recap podcast dedicated to mystery TV. Each week we dig into an episode of the show including the murders, the mayhem, the loonies and everything else we love. This week, Brokenwood Mysteries season six episode two, a real Paige Turner.
Sarah:A real Paige Turner.
Mark:A real Paige there's somebody named Paige Turner in the episode.
Sarah:No. It's the fake Paige Turner.
Mark:Oh, there must be some human being with the unfortunate name Paige Turner.
Sarah:Yeah. Like gerrymander a couple weeks ago.
Mark:Yeah. Wow. That would be like, thanks mom and dad.
Sarah:Couple of exciting things coming up. Most importantly, new Brokenwood episodes will go live on the April 28. Yes. If you are a new listener, meaning that you were not a listener back when we covered the most recent episodes of Midsummer, you might not know that we do this thing called a mini episode when a new show airs or episodes of a new new episodes of a show air. I got that out, eventually.
Mark:Yep.
Sarah:And these mini episodes are intended to be listened to before you watch.
Mark:And give you clues as to how to watch like a maniac. Exactly.
Sarah:So they're spoiler free, short, but will draw your attention to a few things that you might miss otherwise. Then you watch the episode, and then when we get to that new season in the normal order of events, we'll have a full episode about it.
Mark:So that means that in late April and early May, you'll be getting double episodes.
Sarah:Yes. Because you'll be getting a mini and the full. And if the new season is not available where you live, then you can listen to them when it becomes available.
Mark:You just don't listen to them. And then, like when the new episodes of Midsommar are on in England, I always repost those episodes. Yeah. Those mini episodes.
Sarah:Because they can be like 18 old at that point even. They delay them so much. So we'll start doing that in late April when those new episodes start dropping. That'll make it more fun to watch, the new episodes.
Mark:Yes. And then season twenty five as we talked about is already in production for
Sarah:That's midsummer.
Mark:Midsummer. We are two degrees separated from Neil Ray. Mhmm. Explain. Three degrees separated from Neil Ray.
Mark:We had a listener named Amanda who was at a Academic. Academic conference. We have a lot of academics We do. Who follow us. And she went to a presentation of a New Zealand Scholar and then spoke to him afterwards and mentioned that she liked mid Brokenwood.
Mark:New Zealand and Brokenwood. And he said, oh, I work out in the same gym as Neil Ray. So really, we're the same person now.
Sarah:It's just a tiny tiny world, you know? It is indeed. So And we all get around. So
Mark:What have we even been watching? Ludwig. Wow. That show is good.
Sarah:It's good. I like it a lot.
Mark:It's super good.
Sarah:Should I tell my embarrassing story from this week?
Mark:Yeah. Yes. You
Sarah:People can can get a laugh out of my embarrassment. I
Mark:told my toothpaste story, so you should tell this story.
Sarah:All right. So and I'll I'll do it short, but I think people will get a giggle out of it. So at work, and I work at a university at a business school, I think everybody knows that, I'm in charge of a lot of the technology at the school. And so we have a partnership with Microsoft, right? So they come to campus with this big fancy video team to create like a promo video about, oh, it's a business school using our new AI prod product, right?
Sarah:And they did interviews with, various faculty and students and stuff, but then they needed to do b roll.
Mark:And this is high end people. Like they have a makeup person.
Sarah:Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So if you don't know, b roll is like silent footage that they might like play with a voice over over it or it's you know it's it's extra footage to fill gaps basically. So I get roped into being in this shoot in my new brand new dean's meaning my boss boss's office, where we're supposed to, he and I and an associate dean are supposed to be looking at a laptop pretending to talk about
Mark:And normally in those situations
Sarah:on the laptop.
Mark:You just say rhubarb, rhubarb,
Sarah:rhubarb, or watermelon Yapity app, whatever. Yep. Because I have a PC laptop, and I had the software installed on my machine already, I brought my laptop and set it up on the table so that's the one that we could be referring to.
Mark:But that's not all you have on that laptop.
Sarah:No. On the back of my laptop is a great big mystery maniac sticker. And the director of this shoot was like, oh, what's that sticker? I said, it's a podcast my husband and I have been doing for a long time. And he's like, oh, well, what is it?
Sarah:And I was like, it's mystery TV. It's just a thing that we do. And he's like, what's it called? Mystery what? Maniacs?
Sarah:Is that on Spotify? He's got his phone out. He's like, oh, I found it.
Mark:This is in front of the dean.
Sarah:Yes. In the dean's office in a shoot I wasn't even supposed to be part of that I got roped into.
Mark:Pulls up our latest episode. Now what was the name of that episode again?
Sarah:Sexy hats and toothpaste farts, which he then reads in front of everybody. He's like, oh, because he's, like, gleeful and happy. He's like, oh, I found it. Look. What a cool logo you guys have.
Sarah:Let me see. Oh, the latest episode is called sexy hats and tooth toothpaste farts. And he's like, it's like, it it's an in joke about the show that we were talking about. And he's like, yeah. Yeah.
Sarah:And then he hits play. And hears my voice coming out of his phone. And everybody's just standing around like
Mark:And then the dean turns
Sarah:you. What is going on?
Mark:Do you guys do poirot?
Sarah:Yeah. I'm like, oh. So This is not good.
Mark:If you if the new dean is listening, welcome.
Sarah:Yeah. Hello. Hi. Sorry. They had to pile a bunch of innocuous books behind my laptop so that the sticker isn't in the shot.
Sarah:Like, oh, boy. I'm not even supposed to be here. Like, I got totally roped into even being in that shot. Then they made me walk down a hallway and look like I was talking to peep I I was so embarrassing.
Mark:Well Anyhow This up
Sarah:Sexy hats and toothpaste farts because I'm classy like that with my PhD. Oh, boy.
Mark:This episode was originally aired on the 11/17/2019, which is so weird because we're only almost halfway through Brokenwood and we're just getting to Twenty nineteen. '20 '19 to, pandemic episodes. Right? Back in November 2019, we were all like, oh, something's happening in China.
Sarah:Not even that, late twenty nineteen. Maybe by Christmas we might have heard a little bit, but no.
Mark:Written by Fiona Samuel, who actually writes two episodes, this and one from the next season that we will have to talk about at the end of this episode.
Sarah:This is a good story. I like it. It's different than kind of the goofier sort of some of the goofy plots that they do that are fun. But it's it's kind of I don't know. It's not it's not that it's serious, but it's got a lot of townies in it.
Sarah:It's gotten you know,
Mark:it's And it it goes by the detective show trope of let's create a character so hateable that everybody has a motive to kill him.
Sarah:Yeah. And that's what cozies do. Right? We're not supposed to actually be sad he's dead. No.
Sarah:As viewers. And we're not because he's hideous. And he only becomes more and more hideous as we see flashbacks of his interactions with people.
Mark:And we do they do a very good job in the writing of making people who appear dislikable at first, likable.
Sarah:Mhmm. But not him.
Mark:No. Maxine, you feel very sympathetic towards at the end.
Sarah:Really? Kinda. Maybe. Maybe. A little well, no.
Sarah:Anyway.
Mark:I would pay money to see Jack reading his book with Jared and Sims in the car. Like, want Jack in the backseat reading the book because they could not look more uncomfortable than they already do.
Sarah:So Jack Rudd is the author. And you may have recognized this actor. His name is Matt Whelan. I think that's how you pronounce his name. Yeah.
Sarah:If you've watched A Remarkable Place to Die, he plays a sergeant or a DC or something. He's the sidekick to the main character. And he is so kind and so supportive and like the opposite of this character.
Mark:And like kind of like awe shucks a
Sarah:Very much so.
Mark:And that that show so Remarkable Place to Die is the first season's over. And I've heard a couple of people online talk about this. I think what has happened is they did four episodes and like Brokenwood, they're not sure if they're gonna get renewed or not at the end of this series. So they're gonna put everything they can in that last episode to make it incredibly interesting. Yeah.
Mark:And the last, I would say, twenty minutes of that show is like 200 times the speed the rest of the And
Sarah:Hopefully it'll get renewed because I liked it.
Mark:I think it's really good. He's also in a show called The Gone that I'm not sure why we didn't watch it. It's Brokenwood with Irish cops and the lady from Game of Thrones, Mama Stark
Sarah:Mhmm.
Mark:Who plays an Irish gangster living in New Zealand and missing tourists and like all Sounds
Sarah:right up our Yeah.
Mark:Like I don't know why we didn't watch that. All the episodes are available on Acorn so we'll probably watch that sometime soon.
Sarah:So the bookstore is called Slim Volumes.
Mark:Oh, the bookstore. Okay.
Sarah:Why is it called Slim Volumes? I don't Like I know that means a small book. But why would why would you call the bookstore I
Mark:would not call the bookstore.
Sarah:I I would call it like Fat Volumes.
Mark:Or Maxine's Books. Maxie books. Maxine's books.
Sarah:I'm so rich I don't need to own a bookstore and run it, but I do anyway books.
Mark:So I have a problem with the bookstore. So when we see Jared and Sims come into the book store, there is a long walkway to the front door.
Sarah:Mhmm.
Mark:Has the sign on it that is continually shown with the red sauce. What is that red sauce supposed to be?
Sarah:I'm guessing marinara. I don't know what do you dip sausage rolls in. I've never dipped them in anything.
Mark:I don't
Sarah:know but serve bunch of
Mark:egg wash.
Sarah:She's in trouble now.
Mark:They're a little pale.
Sarah:Okay. First of all, you cover any dish that you take to an event. Well, yeah. And if you're taking something like that, as somebody who takes food to work every single week, you put those in a container, you put that sauce in a container with a lid, then you take
Mark:the And you let Jared take it.
Sarah:And you take the tray as well. Yeah. And when you get there, you put the sausage rolls on the tray at the location.
Mark:Yes. Absolutely. You give it to Jared to carry, and if you're carrying that many books, you put them in a big book bag.
Sarah:Yeah, you don't carry a stick. No. Are they broadcasting the book reading on the radio?
Mark:No, I think the diegetic sound is that she's listening to the book at the same time he's
Sarah:But they're at the very same point in the book as well. It's a miracle. Why would you listen to the audiobook on your way to the book reading?
Mark:Why would you listen to the band on the way to the The concert. Some people do.
Sarah:I guess.
Mark:So anyway, back to this stupid bookstore. Okay. So there's the long walkway.
Sarah:It's a house.
Mark:Now Yeah. There's shots later on on the stairwell looking out the front door that has traffic going by. There's a sidewalk and there's Are you saying the
Sarah:exterior and the interior are not the same location?
Mark:Are not the same location. Okay. And I also believe wholeheartedly the scene of the room with the book reading in it and the kitchen are a completely different set. I think that set is three different sets completely. And that would only annoy a maniac and the editor of the piece.
Sarah:Especially those shots out the front door, knowing that it's so different.
Mark:There is an editor who is like, they shouldn't have done that.
Sarah:But gosh, for production to have to film three different locations just to get one location Yeah. That's that's difficult. But it is a house. Like the bookstore is in a house.
Mark:Which in a small town there's sometimes like in Carlton Place, there's a bookstore that's in a house.
Sarah:Yeah. And that's fine but that's why it has a kitchen and a bathroom upstairs and downstairs and two rooms upstairs that we don't know what they are.
Mark:And there are a lot of people at this book reading. People that we know and new people. So Kristen and Jared are the last to arrive with Gina, who's got a bone to pick with the author. Okay. So that's three.
Mark:Missus M is there as well. Mhmm. The Rev Green is there as
Sarah:well. Petra, the ex wife.
Mark:Petra, the ex wife.
Sarah:Yep. And Lindy and and Drake, the teacher and the student.
Mark:So we're like, oh, those are new people. Yep. And mister Carnaby.
Sarah:Yeah.
Mark:Okay.
Sarah:Obviously, Jake is supposed to be a very high selling author. Yes. Like, he's a big author. Yes. But if this is what his books sound like, if this is his writing, he shouldn't be.
Mark:Yes. I think it's it they do a really good job in implying that maybe he's not the best writer of the world.
Sarah:Like, maybe people don't buy his books because of the intricate plots.
Mark:Yes.
Sarah:Maybe they're along the lines of like, saying, oh, I like books about monsters, and so I read Twilight. Like, yeah, you're reading it for the monsters. Yeah. Sure. While he's talking about penetrating with a knife.
Mark:It's certainly the erotic thriller genre. Now, I'm not gonna challenge anybody who has actually written a book, though it's unsure if he's actually written a book. It it it takes an enormous amount of work to even write 80,000 words.
Sarah:Well, yeah. I'm not saying that we should say that he's not a writer. That's not it. It's that he is so obviously pandering to a certain kind of audience, and it's not one that likes intricate plots. It's one where he can say, sorry, I'm a little dry.
Sarah:And Petra says, well, speak for yourself. Yeah. I Like, Lindy and Drake are there because she thinks he's her dad. Yeah. And everybody else is there because they've got a a boner of some sort for Rudd.
Mark:Yeah. What did you think about that joke from Petra?
Sarah:I was made uncomfortable by it.
Mark:I was also made uncomfortable by it. It's it's
Sarah:Has she already slept with him by that point
Mark:or not? She had already slept with him. It's not that I'm offended or it's not safe for work or anything like that. I just don't think it's a Brokenwood joke.
Sarah:No. And it's not a book reading joke.
Mark:No. It's not
Sarah:a in public book reading joke.
Mark:Well, soon enough Petra finds him, knifed at the top of the stairs.
Sarah:Yeah. Is it a letter opener?
Mark:I don't know but the subtitle of this entire episode should be don't leave knives lying around.
Sarah:Especially on a tiny table at the top of the stairs.
Mark:That's an accident waiting to happen.
Sarah:Yeah. Yeah. I mean, you know, leave your katana on the top step. I don't know. It just seems so dangerous.
Sarah:But you you know he's gonna get killed. Yes. As soon as he opens his mouth, you're like, ah, the victim. Yes. Because a, we don't know him.
Sarah:We've never seen him before. And b, he's obviously an asshole. Yes. Off the bat.
Mark:Clearly, couple of things. There is a giant hole here, which is as soon as Mike arrives, Sims should go go home. Yeah. Like, immediately. Yeah.
Mark:And Hugh should be go home. Yeah. And Hugh should be there.
Sarah:It would take him a little bit. But certainly, Mike should not be questioning Petra or interviewing Petra.
Mark:None of that. No. He should. None of that. So we're gonna take that for risk.
Mark:Just,
Sarah:yeah. We all agree that should not have happened.
Mark:So then they do such a good job of letting Gina's story out in little bits.
Sarah:I love it. She's like, can I go examine the body? And Maxine's like, the man's hardly called. And she's like, that's my point.
Mark:Yes. Like like, this is a this is a dream for a pathologist.
Sarah:Half of the police are already there. Yeah. And they're on the scene already.
Mark:And then we find out that maybe he's written his latest book where the main character gets stabbed in the back like him by a deranged pathologist. Number two, Sims then looks at Gina and goes, go Yeah.
Sarah:Why did Jared go? I think Jared Did he just need a ride that direction
Mark:in town? Jared direction in town? I think Jared went because he is the kind of guy that says, that Sim says I'm going to a book reading and he goes, oh I'll go with you.
Sarah:But he he's read the books and he doesn't like them.
Mark:He doesn't really like them all that much. Or he's part of book club already.
Sarah:Maybe. Or maybe Jared is just small town guy who likes to be where things are gonna happen. Maybe. And he's like, oh this will be interesting.
Mark:Because there are those people. Oh yeah. Absolutely.
Sarah:And he knows town enough to know like, I know what this guy's like. This will be fun to watch. Not even if, you know, not knowing he's gonna get killed. So Mike does interview Petra. And when he does, it's in the nook.
Mark:Yes.
Sarah:And there's this incredible lamp behind him. Did you see it?
Mark:It's a very nice lamp.
Sarah:But I never got a shot of the whole thing. But it's like these blue hanging kind of globes that are like suspended in a spiral kind of. It's so pretty. And I kept trying to see the whole lamp and I never got to see it.
Mark:And we find out that Petra is there having slept with him while her fiance is not there and she wants to keep everything secret. Sims shows up out of nowhere in the nook and goes, go home. Yeah. Like You mean the cheese maker? The artisanal cheese maker.
Sarah:The man bun, the bearded cheese maker.
Mark:Who we see again. Yeah.
Sarah:But you look at him and you're like, you either make beer or cheese.
Mark:Yes. He is most definitely.
Sarah:Or you lead a yoga retreat or something.
Mark:In Maxine's interview we hear all sorts of details about how she brought him and paid for everything. She divorced well. Boy did she divorce well.
Sarah:More than once I think.
Mark:$2 a night for that place.
Sarah:By my math she shelled out about $50.
Mark:Yeah. That's a lot.
Sarah:Because Rudd is a cheapskate manipulator. Yep. Like he even wanted Gina to pay for him to come visit her. Yeah. Like dude, you're a best selling author.
Sarah:You're already getting free labor out of her.
Mark:Yeah.
Sarah:Pay for your own flight. She's like, I'm a Russian. I don't fall for scams. Like, yeah, you guys make scams. You don't fall for scams.
Sarah:The Reverend Green is there.
Mark:He's trying to get in the author's bag.
Sarah:Well, he's trying to hide it.
Mark:It could contain a vital clue.
Sarah:They kind of insinuate like Rudd has slept with everybody in the room.
Mark:Yeah. Breen says that. Like Did he have a go with everybody?
Sarah:Like the the rev wasn't trying to sleep with him. He was trying to get
Mark:help with his book. Yes. Which Pedra can't put down.
Sarah:So I'm confused about the history of Okay. So remember, this is a spoiler podcast. We've already talked about who the killer is. It doesn't matter. Okay.
Sarah:So there's a bit here I'm confused about. All So KL Carnaby is a professor Yes. Of creative writing. Somewhere close. Hamish Drake and Jake Rudd so Hamish is a high school teacher and Jake is the dead author were students of Carnaby.
Mark:Somewhere close.
Sarah:And while they were in college, they met Tony, who was the cleaner.
Mark:Yes.
Sarah:Now Hamish got left another school and came to teach at Brokenwood.
Mark:Yes.
Sarah:So he's it's not like he's from Brokenwood. No. Maybe. I don't know. And and yet, Tony, Hamish, and Carnaby all end up in the same town.
Mark:It is an
Sarah:incredible But not the town where they met.
Mark:Yeah. It's an incredible coincidence that he comes to town. Well But this is
Sarah:Him coming to town is something completely different. So Rudd goes away, becomes a big author, whatever. He he gets brought back to town by Maxine. But the other three already live there, but it's not where they met.
Mark:No.
Sarah:That I don't get.
Mark:And it's a little bit like Written in Blood, The Midsommar, where it's an incredible coincidence that happens Mhmm. To make what happens happen.
Sarah:Yeah. Considering Maxine brought Rudd to town Yeah. Because she, all by herself, was corresponding with him. It's not like the book club voted and said we wanna bring
Mark:Yeah.
Sarah:Rudd here. I'm sure she had some persuasion. And if if it happened, like if Tony and Rudd got together in Brokenwood, like if if Lindy was conceived in Brokenwood, everybody there would know that he's her dad. Yeah. Right?
Sarah:Like missus m would know. Yes. And they don't. No. So it must have happened somewhere else.
Mark:It must have happened at uni.
Sarah:So it's just a coincidence that three people moved to the same small town afterwards?
Mark:It's it's a bit of a stretch.
Sarah:Okay. I just wanted to make sure that I wasn't confused. Like, it didn't happen in Brokenwood. No. There's not a university around the corner that we've just never seen or heard of.
Sarah:Right?
Mark:No. Okay. Maxine confronts Petra about sleeping with Rudd.
Sarah:Okay. Maxine's totally toasted.
Mark:Okay. She's totally toasted, but she's right.
Sarah:I know. But she calls her every name under
Mark:the Which proves that Petra has just lied to Mike and Sims should show up and go go home.
Sarah:Yeah. My cheese maker is here to pick me up. Immediately. Yet another reason.
Mark:Mike should be off the case.
Sarah:But you know, it's a small town. Sometimes you gotta make allowances. Wow. Cops in a small town sometimes have to investigate people they know.
Mark:Did he bring okay. So he brought his bag with his laptop and condoms. Did he think he was gonna get some luck upstairs or something?
Sarah:I I think a man like him just I mean, when he meets Petra, he doesn't even know her name and says, come on.
Mark:They're like bonk crazy.
Sarah:So if he's that kind of person,
Mark:yeah. I guess so. He is a dead bruh. He he
Sarah:He might walk around with one in his hand just in case.
Mark:Condom hand.
Sarah:I mean, never mind your wallet.
Mark:Next step.
Sarah:That's too called hand condom. Hand condom and toothpaste farts. You know, you don't wanna delay by having to look around in your bag.
Mark:So parents Rudd's parents are dead, and he has a brother that lives in Canada. Okay.
Sarah:Of course, he does.
Mark:Stop. Sims' first call should be to the brother in Canada and saying, you need to come here right now. Yeah. Your brother has been murdered.
Sarah:Yes.
Mark:If my brother was killed, not even murdered, killed in another country and they called me, I would go immediately.
Sarah:Maybe his brother doesn't like him very much.
Mark:I don't care.
Sarah:If Rudd was your brother
Mark:Because you're in Canada doesn't mean that your trip No,
Sarah:it's too far away.
Mark:It's not too
Sarah:far It's way too far away.
Mark:There are planes and things like that.
Sarah:But this whole thing happens in like three days. His brother couldn't get there that fast. Yes. It would take him a week to get there.
Mark:So we go to the most gorgeous Airbnb to meet Tony Morris and I'm like, no writer makes that much money.
Sarah:Well, because he's not paying
Mark:for it.
Sarah:Maxine's paying
Mark:for it.
Sarah:But that is It's beautiful. Yeah. It's really really beautiful.
Mark:And Mike finds two glasses and red panties. Now Sims does. Sims does.
Sarah:Yes.
Mark:And we we are convinced he is more awful by the moment. And I'm like, at this point in time I'm like, didn't Tony do it? I was like, I was confused.
Sarah:You thought the cleaner did it?
Mark:Yeah, thought the cleaner did it. And then I was like, no, maybe the daughter did it and the cleaner's covering up. No, no. The lechi teacher did it.
Sarah:Maxine has put Red up in this Airbnb at two k a night for two or more weeks. Yes. If she's doing it for two weeks, that's 30 k right there.
Mark:Right there.
Sarah:Never mind flight, all of his food, paying him to come. Like how desperate is this incredibly wealthy woman
Mark:Yes.
Sarah:Who's not ugly. No. She seems very intelligent. I'll tell you what.
Mark:She can do better. Dennis would date her. Dennis. Lawyer. Buchanan.
Mark:Dennis Buchanan would be all over her.
Sarah:I don't know. Isn't Dennis married? No. Because remember Oh, that's right. Yeah.
Sarah:That's right. He goes after the other woman who's got all the the dead husbands. Yeah. Then Mike goes to see Gina. Yes.
Sarah:Gina doesn't want to look at his face anymore. No.
Mark:She is
Sarah:And she says he was we and we see he's stabbed in the upper back so hard. She says it severed his carotid artery.
Mark:And they do a good job of like it's this thing that people do who watch detective shows who go oh okay well then this is the and they come to the conclusion that they don't know how tall person is.
Sarah:Yeah, because it was on stairs, right?
Mark:So there's no way to tell.
Sarah:So somebody on IMDB said it was a factual error that there's no way your carotid artery could be severed from being stabbed in the back, especially with a knife that looks to be about six inches long. The blade is like six inches long.
Mark:Never mind the if it nicked the carotid artery I'm sure the pressure that is under that particular part of the body would shoot the knife out and blood all over.
Sarah:So stupid me, you know, go Googling, can you sever your carotid artery by being stabbed in the back? The answer is no unless the knife is really long. Yeah. Really really long and basically shoved through the back of your neck.
Mark:Yeah and he wasn't it wasn't shoved through the back of his neck.
Sarah:Don't search for it. Okay? No. I did. I wish I hadn't.
Sarah:I especially wish I hadn't looked at the images tab. It's bad.
Mark:What do you mean? There's no blood when that happens.
Sarah:It's very bad. Dissection is involved in many of the images.
Mark:So then Mike talks to Petra again and all she does is lie to him and then says that she was sleeping with him and she doesn't want her fiance to know.
Sarah:Who she just met during the last episode and now she's gonna marry. Who? Like because when you know, you know. Why wait? We're getting married at the end of this episode.
Mark:Sims is automatically teleported into the car and just said go home. You
Sarah:know who I feel bad for? Willie. Yeah. Willie's got constant new stepdads all the time. He must be so confused.
Sarah:Yes. He's such a good boy and he's so cute.
Mark:He's such a good boy. So we find out the old guy is suing
Sarah:Carnaby is suing Rudd for a million dollars for stealing his plot. Yeah. Which he clearly did, basically says he did, and then deletes the recording on Carnaby's phone. Like, come on, Carnaby. You're smarter than that.
Sarah:Right? You don't leave it sitting on the table. Yes. And you're just like, Rud, you're so awful. You're even worse than we already knew you were.
Mark:We find out the panties weren't Petra's, they were Maxine's. Because Mike should have intimate details of Petra's underwear.
Sarah:She likes thongs. Go home, Mike. Go home, Mike. Yeah. If you know that Yes.
Sarah:That's that should be a rule. Detective should be recused from case if related to one of the suspects Yep. Knows what kind of underwear one of the suspects wears.
Mark:So is the old guy staying there? Is Bart Carnaby staying there?
Sarah:I that was the impression I got because he says it's not my house. Yeah. Let's go to the writer's shed. I guess. So maybe he's borrowing it for the summer or renting it or I don't know.
Mark:So then we have the world's most uncomfortable scene, Reverend Green, Mrs. M and the Gooseberry Fool.
Sarah:The reverend is just trying to get feedback from a big writer on his writing. And He wants to give him a home cooked meal.
Mark:It is it is difficult when talking to him and approaching people like that. And it happens constantly. And I I actually like this scene. I thought it was very good. And I learned what a gooseberry fool was.
Sarah:It's a trifle with gooseberries in it. Right?
Mark:Yes. It's, made with sweet custard and folding in pureed stewed fruit.
Sarah:Yeah. It's like a trifle.
Mark:Yes.
Sarah:It's like a layered parfait.
Mark:Yes. And they look good too.
Sarah:So Tony has stolen Rudd's shaver and his watch. Yes. The watch for the money and the shaver to get a DNA test done to prove that her daughter is his daughter.
Mark:But we don't know this already and there's a break in at the Airbnb.
Sarah:And I have a problem with this. Yes. Because that's not how DNA tests work. No. A shaver is not gonna give you what you need.
Mark:No. Because you need the the bottom part of the hair.
Sarah:Unless Rudd shaves with an epilady.
Mark:Yes.
Sarah:That yanks the hair out so you get the follicle or he's really bad with it and constantly gouging himself and bleeding all over it. Yes. But he has a beard. So he's not it's not an epilady. No.
Sarah:If you epilady your beard, you would just cry for weeks.
Mark:It would be a toothbrush long before a shaver.
Sarah:Yeah. I would think a toothbrush would be better. Yep. Have you have you ever felt what an what an epilator feels like? No.
Sarah:It is the most hideously painful thing.
Mark:I can only imagine.
Sarah:And and I've carried triplets, and I can tell you it hurts more.
Mark:It has to be Brazilian waxy.
Sarah:No. It's worse than that because wax, they rip it off at once. It's gone. Right? Scream pain pain gone.
Sarah:An epilady is like being waxed in an ongoing fashion. Yes. Like have you ever snagged like one nose hair?
Mark:Oh yeah.
Sarah:Okay. Imagine that over and over and over and over again continuously. That's what it feels like.
Mark:Yeah.
Sarah:But if he was using one on his face, then she would have what she needs for the DNA test. But she doesn't. So I don't know what she what she sends them.
Mark:The attempted break in is reverend Green and we get to hear about Petra and Mam
Sarah:in the bathtub. In the hot tub.
Mark:In the hot In
Sarah:the tub. Book. It's so mean.
Mark:It's so incredibly mean.
Sarah:Well, missus m is okay with the homosexuals.
Mark:She is. We come back to the cop shop and I
Sarah:Oh, no. Find
Mark:the sign in there. A new sign.
Sarah:It a dry erase board again?
Mark:Yes. It is. And it says green tea, choco, biscuits, sugar, and soya milk. It is a
Sarah:grocery The real signage that you need to be paying attention to in this episode is in Hamish Drake's classroom.
Mark:Wow. Okay.
Sarah:Because I don't care that it's New Zealand and a high school English classroom is a high school English classroom and there's some stuff in that classroom that doesn't make any sense.
Mark:That both there is not make sense a little bit and then there is not make sense a lot. First of all
Sarah:Like there's not make sense in that classroom and then there's not make sense anywhere in existence.
Mark:Yes. So this is our first trip to Brokenwood High School where they all wear uniforms, which is kind of weird. And BO hormones and socks, I can attest to.
Sarah:That's absolutely true.
Mark:Yep. Absolutely. There's a secondhand book sale. That is a legitimate sign to be in his classroom. Okay.
Mark:There's a typewriter. That's legitimate in his classroom.
Sarah:The adding machine next to it? Not so much.
Mark:The adding machine next to No. And then there are there are signs that are really wrong. But the biggest one I have the problem with is how to write a great novel. And it's first of all, it's an infographic.
Sarah:Yeah. And it's three times in the classroom?
Mark:And he teaches ten, eleven, and 12. Yeah. Those people should not be writing novels. They should be writing short stories. I was told not to write novels then, and I'm a little sensitive about it.
Sarah:What I couldn't get away from is the thing that's immediately behind his desk Yes. That is a a hatch or a door with a handle painted red, and it says fire hose on one side. Yes. But then next to that, in big capital letters, it says aerobics.
Mark:Okay. I don't know what that means.
Sarah:I don't either. And I googled it, and I yeah. You can use a fire hose to do some exercise, I guess, if you want.
Mark:It's such a weird
Sarah:But that's classroom. That doesn't make any sense to be in his classroom. If that's like some kind of emergency equipment for a fire, why does it say aerobics on it? Then there's a second dry erase board behind the big one that says home baking on it. Yeah.
Sarah:I don't understand that either.
Mark:The classroom is a b minus in set dressing, I would say.
Sarah:I'm just confused by it. Yeah. Part of me says, oh no, if I was from New Zealand, would get all this. Yes. I would understand it.
Mark:I guess, maybe.
Sarah:But if there's a fire, don't break out into like steps. It's not gonna help.
Mark:Who is the fastest reader in Brokenwood? Oh, Mike. Because he reads all of Rudd's books in a night.
Sarah:Which is a problem, not not only because he reads them really fast, but because everybody else has already read all of them, but has completely forgotten everything in them until Mike reminds them.
Mark:Yes.
Sarah:Like Sims is a huge fan. Gina is a huge fan.
Mark:They should be bringing up points.
Sarah:Either of them Either of them should be like Yep. Gina, is the new book about you?
Mark:Like immediately before they go inside, before the sausage, the pale sausage rolls are even spilled. When when Sims sees Gina she has to say, it's the start of the episode, there's going to be a murder, you're obviously the person in the new book, go home.
Sarah:If you had your way there'd be nobody in this except Sims. No she should walk up and go Nina? And what has Gina made? Because everybody thinks it's super good, but she never says what it
Mark:is. No.
Sarah:I don't. But it's her mother's recipe.
Mark:But she loves it.
Sarah:But everybody's read these books. Everybody's like a devotee. Yeah. And yet nobody goes, wait a minute, is this plot in To Sir With Loathing?
Mark:Cold Cuts? About you? Cold is that about a a So we the books we know that he wrote are The One Night Stand
Sarah:Stab in the Back, Knife in the Back.
Mark:Knife in the Back, To Sir With Loathing, and Cold Cuts.
Sarah:Yeah. He's not good with titles.
Mark:He's not good with titles.
Sarah:I looked up To With Loathing because I just wanted to see if anybody had named a book To Sir With Loathing. And I couldn't find a book, but I did find one academic article called To Sir With Loathing, which is an analysis of school age children's lyrics during the Middle Ages and how they critiqued their tutors in their songs that they wrote. Nice.
Mark:Now I do agree that Mike understands the psychology of this guy better and goes he's been stealing from people in his books for his life. That makes sense. Because he knows the whole background story.
Sarah:And it's not the first time that Mike has speed read a bunch of books. Nope. I think reading the books is smart. Yes. I just have a problem with the fact that everybody else in the episode is a big fan and will already have read all of the books and should have been bringing this stuff up.
Sarah:Do get impression that Petra cheated on him when they were married?
Mark:I think so because he dumped her. Yeah. Because he says that.
Sarah:Well, he he walked away.
Mark:Walked. Yeah.
Sarah:And she seems kind of sensitive
Mark:to the She's a
Sarah:dump town. Cheating thing. Yep. Like, people change.
Mark:Okay. I know I've been hitting on this all episode, but when you
Sarah:Who who should walk away now?
Mark:When you have when you have suspects when you have suspects on the scene during a murder investigation, you do a little background. A simple Google on this teacher would reveal that
Sarah:Sims doesn't.
Mark:That, well no, he would do that right away. Yeah. Like the night of.
Sarah:Mhmm.
Mark:And he's there with a student instead of go home Sims would be like, get in here. Like immediately. Now, this teacher resigns over sexual misconduct.
Sarah:Oh you read the newspaper.
Mark:I read the entire newspaper.
Sarah:It's not nonsense, it's not gobbledygook?
Mark:It's not gobbledygook but there is a mistake in it and I think it's intentional.
Sarah:Oh yeah?
Mark:Because they talk about who he's in class with. Local author, K. L. Carnaby. And two lines later, the next sentence, they call him mister Barnaby.
Sarah:Woah.
Mark:Like, that is not misspelled anywhere else in the article.
Sarah:But it is just one letter, c for b.
Mark:It is. Well, they're not near each other on the keyboard. I checked. Many times, Brokenwood is called New Zealand's Midsummer. Yeah.
Mark:I think that is a tiny Easter egg left for freakazoids like us that that is a reference to Barnaby. I wouldn't say so if it if it was, like, there's, like, four references in the article, and they're all Carnaby except for that one. Yeah. On the very end Good catch. It says, mister Barnaby.
Mark:I was like, oh.
Sarah:If only they called him DCI Barnaby
Mark:or something. Like that. That's not Microsoft manual style. No. It's pretty close to it.
Sarah:Good catch.
Mark:I I did indeed catch that one. And as soon as Sim saw that article, she should have been like, get him in here.
Sarah:Somebody Right now. Somewhere who is responsible for that is so happy that somebody saw their little joke. Yes. You've just done them a big favor. Yep.
Sarah:Poor Jared, he's leaving the book reading.
Mark:Yes.
Sarah:He almost, well, he almost gets hit by a van, but more importantly, the girl that he sees walking on the sidewalk who he has fallen instantly in love with. Yes. Has is almost run over by the van. And he says that she looks like she came straight out of Epinema.
Mark:Yes.
Sarah:And then just says in passing, now turns out she's my cousin. Whatever. Because he's related to everybody.
Mark:He's related to everybody.
Sarah:And I'm immediately like, tall and tan and young and lovely. Like, the girl from Ipanema is such an earworm. It's in there now.
Mark:They do a great job of, oh, Maxine's the killer. Oh, wait, no. Oh, Petra's the killer. Oh, wait. No.
Sarah:Oh, Tony's the killer.
Mark:No. Tony's the killer.
Sarah:Lindy confessed. It's her. No, it's not. Yes. I like Drake.
Sarah:I know that we're supposed to think that he's a pedophile and whatever, and he shouldn't have dated the 18 year old. Yes. But the point of his life where we see him in this episode, he seems like a good person who I think if he didn't murder somebody probably should have dated Tony. Oh, okay. He clearly cares for her and Lindy.
Mark:Up to the point of killing somebody, he's a good guy.
Sarah:Mhmm.
Mark:And should be treated as such. He lets his temper get ahold of him. And then he makes a jump off the roof that he didn't make to make. I'm not even going to talk about how if if he sprained his ankle, it would be better. If he broke his ankle, it would be worse.
Mark:Like just
Sarah:sprained it.
Mark:Isn't everyone going, why are you limping? He's a runner.
Sarah:He twisted his ankle.
Mark:I guess. So he's good to Tony. He's good to the daughter. Missus m lives next door to them. He knows all about them.
Mark:He says that she should get the DNA and evidence and confront him.
Sarah:Mhmm.
Mark:All of that, I completely agree with. Right?
Sarah:Mhmm.
Mark:To the point that he kills somebody.
Sarah:You like him until he kills somebody?
Mark:I love I love Keith's Mike's little recreation.
Sarah:He does Oh, yeah. Well, he's
Mark:just a little pantomime where he's like
Sarah:And then he jumps
Mark:the other direction. Other direction.
Sarah:And then he grabs the dish towel off the wall. Like, I don't know what I would do if if I were Drake in this situation because Rudd is so mean to Lindy. Doesn't even let her speak. No. He's so mean.
Sarah:And that play I would want to punch him down the stairs.
Mark:I realized
Sarah:I don't think I would have stabbed him but I might have pushed him.
Mark:That his play is I'm going to completely ignore this. But he cannot ignore a DNA test. No. Okay? You simply can't.
Sarah:No. He is If he wasn't dead, she'd be suing him.
Mark:She could easily sue him.
Sarah:For child support.
Mark:For child support.
Sarah:He's got plenty of money.
Mark:It all comes out that it's him and I like how they do it with like, these shows can have lots of interrogation room confessions.
Sarah:Mhmm.
Mark:And I think they do a great job of Mike going over to his house and saying, look, what's up?
Sarah:Yeah. I know you did it. Well, Mike knows that if Drake killed him, he he kinda knows why he probably did it. Yeah. You know?
Sarah:It wasn't because he wanted his money. It wasn't because he was jealous of his success.
Mark:And he does a great job of explaining why he was touching her face in the estuary, which that's a bad move.
Sarah:Yeah. He shouldn't be doing that with his history. No. No. He could have just they could have just gone on a walk and sat on a bench.
Sarah:They don't they don't have to hide like that.
Mark:Yeah. They they don't have to hide like that. They could do it at school.
Sarah:They could be talking in a classroom.
Mark:They could easily be doing that talk in the classroom with the door open or you just grab a colleague and say we need Petra need not Petra. Lindy. Lindy needs to talk about this. Can you step in here with us?
Sarah:Or Tony, Lindy wants to meet him. Yeah. Can the three of us talk?
Mark:Yeah. Easy. Yeah. Yeah. The estuary thing is a little much I think but also Maxine walking around town is a little improbable.
Sarah:I don't believe she goes for walks.
Mark:I no. But she sure if she didn't leave the knife around none of this would have happened. I think Maxine
Sarah:I do. I think Drake would have shoved him down the stairs.
Mark:But he might not have died then.
Sarah:No. He might have shoved him down and then did a big like WWE dive onto him and punched him in the face. Yes. And I would have cheered that on.
Mark:So we have a situation at the end of this episode. Usually at the end of episodes that we talk about the corpse. The corpse is no problem. Right? But we have a very interesting situation here at
Sarah:the end of the episode. After the credits.
Mark:The after the credits. Because first of all, the teacher gets the girl, goes to prison, has time to write. Because him and he and Tony. Tony are real close there
Sarah:at the You think he's gonna come out of prison with a novel to publish?
Mark:She says that she's gonna come see him every week and she's gonna be able to do that because her and Lindy are
Sarah:rich. Yeah.
Mark:Because she is his direct descendant, she can prove it. So all of his ill gotten booty that he has these millions of dollars plus the film rights, all that stuff
Sarah:Mhmm.
Mark:Are legally hers.
Sarah:Yeah. The worst case scenario is they have to split them $50.50 with the brother in Canada. That's the worst case scenario, which is bound to still be a lot of money.
Mark:Yeah. So the people who come out of this
Sarah:And Tony's not dumb. She's not going to be like, oh I could never take money from such an awful person. No. She's like, Give it to me.
Mark:And she's not going to prison because the person she stole the watch from is dead and the brother's going to go, you can keep that. He was a shit. Have his watch. Don't care. So they are set up.
Mark:The killer is set up. It's a very
Sarah:interesting He's gonna do what ten years or something? I mean their sentences are so short.
Mark:Yeah. They are on easy street now. She's going to university, that's
Sarah:for sure. Well, she's talented and smart, she should.
Mark:You know, when the brother shows up in his, you know, his
Sarah:Flannel shirt.
Mark:Flannel shirt and his toque going, what's this all about? A booch
Sarah:with his pet moose cause he's Canadian. Is Carnaby gonna get money? Is he gonna are they gonna settle with him?
Mark:I think they probably have like, Carnaby is gonna approach them. Because I think that's a smart thing for Carnaby to do. Mhmm. And he might get something the worst that can happen is they say no. Yeah.
Mark:And he won't sue them because he knows what they went through.
Sarah:Right. I think so too.
Mark:I think that they got off easy. Mhmm. I think that Maxine wasted a lot of money.
Sarah:Yep. Probably feels like an idiot. And not because of her wardrobe, though she
Mark:should. Do we see her again?
Sarah:But she, I mean, she probably feels like she's been made a fool of, but he's made a fool of everybody he's ever taken advantage of so she shouldn't feel too bad about that I don't think.
Mark:We don't see her again. But now we do need to talk about the cheese factory.
Sarah:You mean the cheese maker?
Mark:Well, the wedding is at the cheese factory. There are tours of the cheese factory. Yeah. So that is a giant cheese factory. Mister artisanal cheese maker is loaded.
Mark:Mhmm. Okay? If he's getting married there. Okay? Then there's all the things that we could talk about him.
Sarah:The man bun. Man beard.
Mark:All all that time. Third time's a charm. I thought that she took off. I was like, oh, is she gonna take off here? But no she doesn't.
Mark:She goes up and
Sarah:She's not really a full commitment type No. Type person though.
Mark:She isn't. She sleeps
Sarah:with Rudd twice. She clearly would be happy to sleep with Mike Yeah. And rekindle their relationship. And he's like, no no no no no no Goodbye. No.
Mark:On all of that while engaged.
Sarah:Yeah.
Mark:Okay. Then we see her again. We see her again in the next season.
Sarah:Mhmm.
Mark:In the episode about a farmer's market where her and Man Bun are selling artisanal cheap.
Sarah:Oh, so they work out for a little while.
Mark:How on earth does Sims not show up and go,
Sarah:go home.
Mark:This is the second murder you are somehow involved in.
Sarah:No, between her and the other lady whose husbands all die, they should just be suspects in everything that happens in Brokenwood. Cause one or both of them are involved in everything.
Mark:Well, we have two more episodes of this season. The next episode we have is the one with the duck hunters and the duck blind.
Sarah:Mhmm.
Mark:There's that episode. And then comes the my favorite episode of this season, which is the women's prison episode that has all the women who have gone to prison in the stories previous. Yep. At the prison including our favorite, Trudy.
Sarah:Trudy. Who's like running the prison. Totally running the prison. Don't cross Trudy. Yeah.
Sarah:She's a killer, but she's running the place. I this is a fun episode. I I like the story of it. I'm wondering if after all is said and done, Gina couldn't, you know, write a little I'm not like Nina. Like, I just see all the people he manipulated coming out of the woodwork and having like a support group or something.
Mark:Yes. You know? Then we find out
Sarah:Like Maxine and Gina could become best buddies because they're they both got ripped off by this jerk.
Mark:We didn't cover that part but Matt Gina is the evil person in the latest novel. Yeah. And like But he
Sarah:must leave a trail of people behind him that
Mark:are He does.
Sarah:You know?
Mark:And they all went to this book reading in the three book house.
Sarah:No. These are just the ones from this location. Oh. Who knows where you know, who he's abused everywhere else.
Mark:The people in Australia and Canada. Yeah. He's abused. Who knows? Who knows?
Sarah:So that was a real page turner. We will be off next week because Mark will be traveling, but then we'll be back.
Mark:I'm going out west to see my daughter. Yeehaw. I've never been to Seattle.
Sarah:You're going to Seattle. Yeah. Have fun. Yep. If you have any recommendations for things that Mark should do in Seattle, send them our way.
Mark:Absolutely.
Sarah:He's gonna be there for almost a week. Right?
Mark:Six days.
Sarah:Yeah. Six days. So I'll be man in the fort all by myself. Things are bound to go awry.
Mark:No. They're not. Everything's gonna go fine.
Sarah:Last time you went out of town before you even got to the place you were going Yes. The tire exploded on the car. Yes. It was awesome.
Mark:So we'll be back.
Sarah:In two weeks with Dead Men Don't Shoot Ducks.
Mark:There's no Daffy in it. I love Daffy Duck. There's no Daffy.
Sarah:There should there should be an Abnomer Fudd.
Mark:Hunting season is one of my favorite cartoons of all
Sarah:I saw a duck.
Mark:I thought I saw a duck. Okay. Anyway, bye maniacs. Bye maniacs. Thanks for joining us on the mystery maniacs podcast.
Mark:If you enjoyed our crazy podcast today, don't miss out on future episodes. Follow us on social media for updates, beyond the scenes content, and exclusive sneak peeks. Subscribe, like, and share to spread the word. Bye, Maniacs.
Sarah:Maybe they're more along the lines of like, oh, the werewolf and the vampire books, the Twilight.
