Mother Ducker & The Eggman | Brokenwood | "Dead Men Don't Shoot Ducks" | Mystery Maniacs Podcast EP235
It's like a phallus in a shell. Yes. They're nasty. Hey, maniacs.
Mark:Hey, maniacs. Welcome to Mystery Maniacs.
Sarah:You were a little Wolfman Jack there for a second.
Mark:I was a little Wolfman.
Sarah:Hey, maniacs.
Mark:Only our listeners would know who Wolfman Jack is.
Sarah:Anybody under 30 is googling Wolfman Jack right now.
Mark:Oh my god.
Sarah:Anyhow, welcome to Mystery Maniacs.
Mark:Mystery Maniacs is a comedy recap podcast dedicated to mystery TV. Each week, we dig into an episode of the show including the murders, the mayhem, the loonies, and everything else we love.
Sarah:This week, Broken Woods season six episode three, Dead Man Don't Shoot Ducks. I'm Mark. Babies. I'm Sarah. I'm not Wolfman Jack.
Sarah:I'm sure all of you old enough to recognize that voice were probably fooled. Wow. How did they bring Wolfman Jack back from the dead and put him on the radio? Put him on the podcast. It's amazing.
Sarah:It's a miracle.
Mark:I was completely enamored with him as a child.
Sarah:It was just me.
Mark:He was a DJ who was like a celebrity. I know. I was like It
Sarah:was him and Casey Case.
Mark:My gosh. I wanna be that person.
Sarah:We are immediately off topic. Yes. Dead men don't shoot ducks.
Mark:This is a spoiler podcast. So if you haven't watched the episode, go watch the episode and then listen to us. And if you let your kids go to duck blinds and shoot at protesters.
Sarah:That one dude does. I guess. Sorta. Tony Carrot.
Mark:I did like how they portrayed him as both knowledgeable about what he was doing and a good parent.
Sarah:Okay. But his his shop is called Blood Sports
Mark:with a Blood Sports. We haven't had an episode in a while, so let's talk about what we've been doing
Sarah:other
Mark:than being Oh my gosh.
Sarah:We finished Ludwig. Yes. Which everybody should watch. If you haven't watched it, check it out. We've watched
Mark:They're already working on season two. The ending of season one was fantastic.
Sarah:It was very good. I was kind of watching those episodes in fear of what the end of the season was going to I wasn't sure how they were going to tie it up, but what they did was really good.
Mark:The last episode
Sarah:was And not at all what I expected them to do.
Mark:Extremely well written. We've been watching The Cleaner. We watched the first two episodes.
Sarah:Because I love Greg Davis.
Mark:Oh my god.
Sarah:That giant Steve Funny man.
Mark:Pemberton is hilarious. So good in episode two.
Sarah:Chelsea detective, those new episodes have been really, really good.
Mark:Yes. Including missus Hall being
Sarah:sultry? A normal modern person is kinda it's kinda weird to see Kinda weird. The the housekeeper from All Creatures Great and Small in Normal Clothes. Yes. We've also been watching the new episodes of Brokenwood season 11.
Mark:Yes. They released on Acorn the first episode last Monday and the next episode will be releasing on April 28 when the day that this podcast drops.
Sarah:And because there are new episodes of a show that we're talking about, we're doing what we've always done, which is releasing mini spoiler free episodes that you can listen to before you watch to get tips about how to watch it like a maniac.
Mark:And that was mini episode number 28. I can't believe we have 28
Sarah:I know. Mini episodes. I know.
Mark:And it's called two by two and bad tattoos.
Sarah:So if you're if you're kinda new to the podcast, if you weren't around with us within midsummer when new midsummers were coming out, we do these mini episodes because we think it's fun to we don't spoil the episode. We really don't even talk about the plot. We just give you some things to look for, some little like puzzles or
Mark:Indications of how we watch Questions
Sarah:to try to answer. Yeah. So that when you watch it, you can look for those things, which makes it a little bit more fun to watch. And then we're on season six of Broken Wood now, but when we get to season eleven, we will then do a full normal episode.
Mark:And we answer all
Sarah:the questions. Answer the questions. So you might be waiting a while, but
Mark:We wrote down the answers.
Sarah:We did. One time I didn't write down the answers, and by the time we got around like seven seasons later, I was like, I
Mark:don't know. I gotta watch this again. Don't remember. Can't watch the episode again and watch the mini again.
Sarah:Yeah. To remember the question. But yeah, the first one came out last week. So if you didn't check it out, check it out and go watch the episode.
Mark:And there's six episodes in this new season.
Sarah:Yeah. If season eleven isn't available to you, don't worry. We'll keep the mini up and posted. And when it becomes available to you, you can listen to it then.
Mark:Yes. Absolutely. So just a little scheduling thing, we won't have an episode next week because it's free comic book day on Saturday, the day that we record and Melissa, the artist who draws my spirit comic book and I are special guests at our local comic book shop to do signings and all sorts
Sarah:of giving away free comic books to kids. That's a great thing to books
Mark:to to kids and coloring books and all sorts of it's a fun day.
Sarah:This week has not been fun though. No. Just on a little side note because you guys know, I mean, we're mystery maniacs but we can't our lives are kind of maniacal. Yeah. Kind of crazy sometimes.
Mark:Some of you may not even know that we have four children the same age.
Sarah:Yesterday No. Yes. Yesterday.
Mark:Yes. I
Sarah:don't even know what day it is anymore.
Mark:It was yesterday.
Sarah:On Friday, we had a $35,000 lunch break. Yes. Our air conditioner started for the season and it wasn't working so well.
Mark:So we pay for this service to have Checkups.
Sarah:Checkups done every year. Because we have two water heaters, two furnaces, and two air conditioners
Mark:Yep. We are
Sarah:our big freaky house.
Mark:A two zone big freaky house.
Sarah:It wasn't working so efficiently. We didn't think the air was cool. We thought it's time for the checkup. It's time for the checkup. Wasn't checkup.
Sarah:It was a terminal diagnosis. Yes. And Dude came and said They
Mark:were they were very nice. They were very nice.
Sarah:Said not only is this air conditioner dead, but so is the other one.
Mark:Yes.
Sarah:And so are the furnaces that are attached to them.
Mark:So Friday afternoon Here's
Sarah:a photo of the sizzling smoking wires that are inside of them. And oh by the way, they were installed shortly after Sarah graduated from high school. They are that old.
Mark:Before the birth of our children, before we had even met, these furnaces were installed in our house.
Sarah:And it will cost you a mere $35,000 to replace both of Yes.
Mark:I had purchased two air conditioning units and two furnaces.
Sarah:I'm still sort of freaking out about it. It's it needed to happen. And I have to move all the Halloween stuff so they can get into the place it in the garage.
Mark:So it's in the garage, the one furnace is in the garage and one is in the basement. Both of these are filled with Halloween decorations.
Sarah:Yeah. It's like, how can I shift the corpses from one place to the other if they're gonna be in both places? I've been looking forward to recording this morning because it's a little bit of time when I thought I wouldn't be thinking of the $35,000 lunch break.
Mark:And hey, you can now join our $35,000 HVAC Patreon. No, not seriously. No, we're not doing it.
Sarah:We're gonna pay for it a nickel at a time out on the street with a can shaking it. Can you shake your booty for a nickel at a time?
Mark:Just saying that maybe if you could like and subscribe this video on YouTube
Sarah:We could at least get that fat YouTube dollar cash. Oh, yeah. We get like $4 a month or something from YouTube.
Mark:Oh, no. We do better on YouTube than that.
Sarah:Oh, enough to pay for that $35,000
Mark:furnace. No, no.
Sarah:Y'all can tell I'm a little stuck on it. Anyhow, so how about shooting them ducks?
Mark:We just wanna reiterate, this was a known expense. Maybe it wasn't known as much as it was, and we were already planning
Sarah:Wait a minute. It wasn't it known. It was like, yeah, they're old. We'll have to replace them soon. Well, we But not on Tuesday all at the same No.
Mark:No. We expected to have to replace all this equipment in about eighteen months when we do some major renovations. When we had secured a home equity book.
Sarah:I laugh so I don't cry. It's okay. How about the ducks? Is this nom or a duck hunt?
Mark:I don't know.
Sarah:Because it looks like nom. They got the face paint. Like ducks are gonna see their skin and go, that's a person. Yes. You gotta paint your skin up in camo like realistic camo.
Mark:I guess.
Sarah:To hide in your my my your duck hide. You're already in a hide in the dark in the fog and you got to put the face paint on.
Mark:Man, like I'm not a hunter. I don't fish. I don't hunt. It's never been a thing.
Sarah:The closest thing you do to hunting is going to the grocery store and choosing the right chicken.
Mark:And my father never let hunters be on our property. It was just not something I was raised in and not part of my culture. I understand
Sarah:that I went fishing as a kid but we didn't paint up camo to go fishing.
Mark:But but this is serious and I looked into duck season in New Zealand.
Sarah:It's six weeks.
Mark:And It's short. It's right now. Oh. Like it's getting ready right now and
Sarah:So it's a fall thing?
Mark:You know there are times when you think that a certain country and a certain lunatic are the entire world but this is not the case. Because they had a rather lovely explanation of securing the Mai Mai that you wanted. It it really was understanding and reflective of
Sarah:You mean on like the New Zealand hunting website or Maori
Mark:values
Sarah:So the whole world's not full of assholes right now? No. It's hard not to think that.
Mark:It is
Sarah:indeed. They're kind people. So you don't own your my my and say this is mine. And I mean it's a my my.
Mark:It's not a my my.
Sarah:It's not a your my my. It's my my my.
Mark:Okay. That was maybe not the most cultural leap.
Sarah:I just assumed that if you built it on land that you had access to, that you wouldn't have to claim it. It's yours. That But maybe not.
Mark:They just had a page about making sure that you staked out your claim early on.
Sarah:Oh, that's nice. And that you were considerate of other people and Yeah. They have all sorts Because other people have guns and you shouldn't make them mad.
Mark:Well they have crazy rules like they didn't mention them in here but like you're only allowed three shots at a time because they want to lower the number of wounded birds. They want to increase the number of kills.
Sarah:Right. That makes sense. So you can't take out your AK to go duck hunting.
Mark:Yeah, that's You're only allowed three shots.
Sarah:That's nice. It's sad that that's nice.
Mark:Birds lives matter. What do you think of that?
Sarah:Leslie's a moron. I'm glad she at least plays some music to announce herself.
Mark:That was the right thing to do.
Sarah:But like she should have been out there when they got there splashing around scaring the ducks away from the get go. You know what I mean? Yeah. So the ducks were never anywhere nearby. That's what I would have thought.
Mark:So I had a friend who used to ask me all the time to go fishing with him and I was never interested in fishing with him. I grew up on a lake in the summers, right? And so what I would do is go out with him in the boat and I'd sit and read and when I got bored reading, because we talk and stuff, you know, it was fellowship
Sarah:Let me guess, you go swimming
Mark:I go swimming.
Sarah:And scare the fish off.
Mark:I swim under the boat and scare all
Sarah:the
Mark:fish You're not catching anything?
Sarah:Do you swim under the boat?
Mark:Oh yeah.
Sarah:No. No. Just the idea of that scares the bejesus out of me. What if you got caught? What did you No.
Mark:This is when I was in the water.
Sarah:Don't like water. Can't see the bottom
Mark:This is when I was in water and round boats all the time, like when I was water skiing every day.
Sarah:I used to go fishing a lot because my dad is like a fishing addict. Like he had to get his hit every day. He'd go fishing for like an hour after work. And when my sister and I were little, we would go and he would have his little aluminum boat not a big boat, like a boat you put on the top of the in the back of the truck or whatever.
Mark:That's all this boat was.
Sarah:I know. Still, don't swim under it. It's still got an outboard. Would go out on the boat. He couldn't leave us on the edge of the pond.
Sarah:So we would be in the boat. And I'd be like five and my sister be like, you know, nine. And inevitably one of us would have to pee. Yep. Well, dad could just go off the side of the boat.
Sarah:Yes. But he'd have to take us back. Yep. To the bank, get off, go pee, get back on, go out to the middle of the lake. And then the other one would go, no, I have to go now.
Sarah:I'm gonna go back. Soon he was like, hold it. Just hold it.
Mark:Just hold it.
Sarah:When when both of you have to go then we'll go. It was pretty miserable. But he made really good peanut butter and honey sandwiches so we we didn't mind going. Anyway
Mark:So Leslie Garrett
Sarah:Is a moron and gets shot in her little boat. Yes. Because she puts herself between her killer sister and some ducks.
Mark:So her sister who is the killer, we're we're we're we're letting you in on that.
Sarah:Jenny. You know she's the killer right away because she starts to smother the widower, Ollie. Yes. As soon as her sister her sister's not even cold and she's like, what can I do for you, Ollie? Can I help you, Ollie?
Sarah:Stay away from Ollie. You don't need to question Ollie right now. And you're like, yeah, you're the killer, aren't you?
Mark:Yeah. Yeah. So I guess she told her sister that she was gonna do this?
Sarah:Yes. Leslie told Jenny she was gonna go out and do it.
Mark:And then she devised this plan, but okay. The whole idea of this is that Jenny is so in love with Ollie that she's willing to kill your kill her sister. Yeah. That's a strange thing.
Sarah:I would have thought that would have surfaced in other ways before this. And you know me,
Mark:I'm always banging on inciting incident. Yeah. What is the inciting incident of this? It's not this. She just didn't think because this is premeditated.
Mark:She has a whole plan
Sarah:Oh, yeah. She's before she gets decided she's gonna pretend to be a ghost. So Like, she's got a costume. So She had to find that bowler hat somewhere. This is very premeditated.
Mark:I would gotten away with it if it wasn't for you. Yeah. You kids and your Bowler hats.
Sarah:Yep. Like She could have just as easily been three or four kids stacked on top of each other in a big coat. But
Mark:Or Scooby Doo. Yeah. But the why now? There's no reason about why now.
Sarah:It's not Ollie's affair.
Mark:No. Because she finds out about that later.
Sarah:With mother ducker.
Mark:Yes. Because
Sarah:she doesn't know about that yet.
Mark:Yeah. So what is the inciting incident here?
Sarah:I don't know. May maybe we'll maybe we'll figure it out as we go through here.
Mark:Okay.
Sarah:So they're all members of the Duck Stalkers Association.
Mark:Yeah. There there's a lot of wordplay in this episode.
Sarah:Duck Stalker, it just I feel like you can stalk a deer, you can stalk a bear, something big, a buffalo.
Mark:Yep. But a duck. It's hard to stalk a duck.
Sarah:Like you gotta find out where it lives and Yeah. Like take photos of it through the window and And this You don't creep up on them. Yeah. You sit and wait for them to come to you.
Mark:Yeah. And this is a So there's sort of a bunch of little groups here. Mhmm. Right? There's Don Ducker who is the head duck stalker.
Mark:Don Ducker the third. The third. Then there is the guy who runs the gun shop Tony. And his children.
Sarah:Mhmm. Then there's Jared and his uncle Walter, who's the one that has Parkinson's. We've met him And his uncle Tomaty.
Mark:And it's implied that maybe his Parkinson's, he's shaking. Yeah. Might have been something here.
Sarah:And Jared didn't even have a gun. He's just there to support his uncle.
Mark:And then there's the poorest individual of the entire episode.
Sarah:Who should not be there. Frodo should not be there.
Mark:No. Frodo has finally overcome
Sarah:No. He
Mark:hasn't. His trauma enough that he's gone to the
Sarah:Duck hunt in honor of his friend Hayden who was killed at his own bachelor party.
Mark:So let's just recap. The first thing with guns and Frodo is he shot himself in the foot. Yes. And his friends didn't want to hang out with him then.
Sarah:Right.
Mark:That's traumatic enough.
Sarah:Mhmm.
Mark:Then at his friend's bachelor party when he's finally allowed to get guns back
Sarah:Mhmm.
Mark:His friend gets shot. Yes. And Frodo legitimately worries that for part of the episode
Sarah:That he will be
Mark:in trouble
Sarah:for it.
Mark:Or that he is somehow in danger.
Sarah:Yeah.
Mark:Throws his guns into the river.
Sarah:Right.
Mark:I'm done with guns.
Sarah:But now time has passed.
Mark:Time has passed.
Sarah:And he's gonna instead of pouring out a 40 for his friend, he's gonna shoot some ducks for his friend using his friend's old bullets.
Mark:And it's weird that his friend has his girlfriend's picture in a bikini and the thing but In the duck hide. Men are weird.
Sarah:Okay. Don't forget the asshat on the jet ski.
Mark:Yes.
Sarah:Lance Guilford, who is just useless in the entire episode. Yes. He's not even a red herring because you never really suspect him.
Mark:No. And he doesn't have any cool posters in this All
Sarah:he does is rip off tourists.
Mark:Yes.
Sarah:That's all he does.
Mark:But Frodo is then immediately dealt with the trauma of seeing another person die by gunfire, which he could have possibly been involved Yeah.
Sarah:You would think I mean, no matter how high you know you shot, it would still be like, well, what if I, you know, what if my shot Yep. Fell, you know, and hit her. And What if I pulled earlier than
Mark:Frodo has a big heart. Yeah. Frodo's got a big heart.
Sarah:You'd feel bad.
Mark:Reaction is played for comedy but it's actually kind of real and traumatic.
Sarah:What's funny is the way Frodo deals with that sadness or that upset by getting totally rat faced Yes. And stumbling around town and going to the aspirational establishment of the toad and lion where people like to be happy. Where they aspire
Mark:Trudy To be
Sarah:more than they are.
Mark:Trudy and Ray are fantastic in this episode and fantastic in the new episode.
Sarah:Yeah. Are you surprised that they let Ollie see Leslie's body when they haven't even cleaned her face off yet?
Mark:I have a note that says she's got big lead blood on her. Maybe you shouldn't be showing her to her sister.
Sarah:Like wipe her face off. Yeah. When Gina's like, well he can spend another minute with her, but he's gotta hurry because I need to get on. And Jenny's like, And Sims is like, she's Russian. Like that's all you need to say is she's Russian.
Sarah:Yep. And that explains everything about how rude she is.
Mark:What important UK figure is in one of the duck blinds? There's a picture of them.
Sarah:I don't know. Baden Powell. There's a picture of Baden Powell in there? Yep. Do you want to tell people who he is?
Mark:He is the man who started scouting.
Sarah:Are you surprised that the Duck Stalkers Association, the DSA Yes. Has their very own clubhouse? They don't just rent a room, they've got a clubhouse.
Mark:It's than the like the detectorists just use the town hall.
Sarah:Yeah. No, this is their place. There's a big sign on the wall and they've got their trophies up and dead ducks everywhere and it's like a permanent place for for something you do six weeks out of the year.
Mark:Yeah. It seems
Sarah:What do they do with it for the other forty eight?
Mark:It it seems weirdly Forty six. Sorry. Like inheritance based, like if if my grandfather was in this club then I'm in this club. Yeah. There's not a lot of clubs that work like that.
Sarah:No, they're usually Ivy League school related clubs. Mrs. Marlowe Speaking
Mark:of things that are uncomfortable, would you want to drive around with that many eggs sitting in your front seats?
Sarah:I think, you know, I think if you're around eggs, you know how tough they actually are.
Mark:Well, plus that's 357,000 You could have paid for the HVAC issues with the all those eggs. Give me those eggs.
Sarah:I mean, you notice when they go to Ollie's house and they're at the dining room table that there's two big baskets of eggs on the table
Mark:too? Giant baskets of eggs.
Sarah:One well, one basket is a basket of giant eggs Yes. And the other basket is of tiny eggs. Like, he's the egg magnate. He's got He's
Mark:the egg man. He's got Cook and chew.
Sarah:He's got pigs. He's got ducks. He must have some ostriches around there somewhere. I don't know. Maybe that's why those big birds are are extinct now because he's stealing all their big eggs.
Sarah:Missus Marlow is awesome in this episode. Yes. Because she's again the I know everything but I'm not involved. But Yes. Run into me and I'll tell you important things like how to make coffee.
Sarah:We will we will.
Mark:And and again, like this is really a very good callback to the brand new episode because in the new episode, they're still finding interesting ways to make fun of Sims and her coffee. That's that's not coffee.
Sarah:She does not learn the lesson. No.
Mark:She does not.
Sarah:Because if she did that that would be the end of it. Right? Yes. Did you know that missus Marlowe's husband was named Rufus?
Mark:No. I did not.
Sarah:I'd never caught that before if she said I
Mark:did not know that.
Sarah:It would be hard for me to be in love with a man named Rufus.
Mark:Rufus. And then she sings Rufus. A duff.
Sarah:She talks about how her husband was part of the DSA.
Mark:Yes.
Sarah:And she's not a hunter. Nope. But he was very successful at hunting, and she had to pluck all of the ducks. Yes. Eight ducks.
Sarah:You don't just have to pluck them though. You have to like pull the shot out of them. Right? Otherwise, might find it while you're eating it? Yeah.
Sarah:That sounds tedious.
Mark:It kinda is. Have you ever plucked a No.
Sarah:I've never skinned or plucked anything. Well, catfish.
Mark:In the long line of really disgusting things I had to deal with as a child, I never had to do this, but I had to sit outside while my mother did it. I don't know why she wanted me to sit outside. Company. But
Sarah:Or she was worried about what you were gonna do inside while she was outside.
Mark:She had like a dozen chickens that were brought to us alive. She killed them and plucked them.
Sarah:Didn't know Madonna was that hardcore.
Mark:She killed Hardcore. Yeah. Yeah.
Sarah:Did she cut their heads off or snap their necks?
Mark:Snap their necks and then cut their heads off. Wow. Yeah, like That's hardcore. Too many of my memories as a childhood of the farm involve animal blood.
Sarah:Well, missus Marlow has funny rhymes Yes. To keep her company while she's plucking ducks.
Mark:Yes. And these are called tongue twisters. Are they? Yes.
Sarah:Thank you for telling
Mark:us that. Well, know, some people might not call them tongue twisters.
Sarah:It's based on how much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood.
Mark:Which is of course there to make you not say certain words.
Sarah:Yeah. Not to slip up and say f. Yeah. But she does how many ducks does a duck plucker pluck when a duck plucker does pluck ducks?
Mark:And that's a hard one, man. I don't know if I could do that one with that.
Sarah:Then she does how many clucks can a pluck duck cluck when a pluck duck does cluck cluck? Yes. You don't think you can do it?
Mark:I I well, they're hard.
Sarah:I've got some for you.
Mark:Oh, you have other ones?
Sarah:I have
Mark:Now did you find these or do you
Sarah:even have written some.
Mark:You have written some.
Sarah:There's not even AI involved Oh, excellent. Are you ready? Yes. We'll see if you can do
Mark:it. Okay.
Sarah:How many pluckers would the ducks choose to smother if the ducks could smother the pluckers?
Mark:Okay. How many?
Sarah:How many pluckers would the ducks choose to smother if the ducks could smother the pluckers?
Mark:How many pluckers would the ducks choose to smother if the ducks could smother the duck pluckers?
Sarah:Very good.
Mark:Okay. Wow. There were no beeps in that.
Sarah:You didn't say it very fast though. No. You want to try another one? Yeah. How many ducks would pluck plums with a plumber if a duck could pluck plums with a plumber?
Sarah:How many ducks
Mark:would pluck Are you throw sheets in there? Many Split sheets?
Sarah:How many ducks would pluck plums with a plumber if a duck could pluck plums with a plumber?
Mark:How many ducks would pluck plums with a plumber if ducks could pluck plums with a plumber?
Sarah:A plumber?
Mark:A plumber.
Sarah:A plumber bummer. Very good. Excellent. I'll save the other ones. I won't torture you for right now.
Mark:Okay.
Sarah:Ollie is always surrounded by eggs. Always. And it it makes me think he is as fragile as the eggs. Yes. Because he sort of is.
Mark:But okay. Yes he is, but also like okay. I feel sympathy for missus Duck of the Duckers.
Sarah:Marion Ducker?
Mark:I feel sympathy for her. Her husband is horrific.
Sarah:Get in the kitchen woman.
Mark:And at one point in he's in the police station and is standing in front of a domestic violence poster. And I don't think it's an accident.
Sarah:I don't think he's physically abusive. I just think he has a category that he puts her in, and she seems to be willing to conform to that rather than upset him.
Mark:I would say at the very least he's emotionally abusive.
Sarah:Wow. He's not giving her all the options in her life that she could And
Mark:certainly verbally abusive. Yeah. Okay. That being said, okay, there are lots of men in Brokenwood, including Mike Mhmm. Would be a better opportunity for her.
Sarah:She doesn't have to stay with Ducker Duck Ducker.
Mark:No. But the eggman cuckoo coochoo is maybe a poor choice because his sister-in-law is psychotic and his wife kinda is too.
Sarah:But he's the eggman. He's like the milk man, he comes to the door.
Mark:He's the milkman.
Sarah:With his six who gets six eggs?
Mark:Who gets six eggs?
Sarah:Not if you're a baker you don't.
Mark:But I tell you what Sims has that figured out in like two seconds.
Sarah:Yeah.
Mark:She's like on the This episode It's not hard. This episode is Sims coming out. Yeah. She is fantastic in this episode.
Sarah:They they get the shells, not the shells, the pellets
Mark:from Leslie Not the eggshells. No. The gun shells.
Sarah:If she was killed with eggs shot from a gun, it'd be a lot easier to solve the crime.
Mark:Oh, she's got yolk all over her.
Sarah:Trauma. Trauma. The ducks would be so upset. So do,
Mark:no, not the yolks again.
Sarah:Just imagine how traumatic that would be for the ducks. Like, you used to just kill us, but now you're shooting our babies at
Mark:each other in front of Yeah, yeah, they're throwing our babies at us.
Sarah:Wow. That's just cold people. Yeah. They got the pallets and they're like, it'll be easy. Yes.
Sarah:We'll know who shot her.
Mark:Yes.
Sarah:And then you find out Ducker gave everybody a box of shells. Totally
Mark:unrelated to the crime.
Sarah:Innocuously. Yeah. You know? But like, there goes that.
Mark:Except for Frodo who's shooting the old ammunition and the kids who have the smaller ammunition. Ammunition. An aminal mission.
Sarah:Well Jenny claims to not be shooting that ammo either because she's shooting a different gun. Yes. They do a good job explaining guns in this for us people who have no idea what the difference is between those The
Mark:gun shop scene mixes humor, parenting and exposition really well.
Sarah:Well and even Jenny is kind of helpful in explaining she shoots with a four ten or whatever it is.
Mark:Yes.
Sarah:I thought it was funny that Don Ducker's family made all their money manufacturing linoleum. Like, it's such a claim to fame.
Mark:Well, like that is a common trope of these detective shows. Okay? So the the main audience of these detective shows, I would say, are women from the ages 35 to 65. There's their target market.
Sarah:Right. And they're into linoleum? Is that what you're saying?
Mark:No. I'm saying
Sarah:They like guys named Don who make linoleum?
Mark:No. I'm saying that
Sarah:If you can't shoot them block them.
Mark:Insecure, boisterous men are meant to look foolish. Yes. Which they should be. Yes. I have no problem with
Sarah:that. Yes.
Mark:But the linoleum and his name and all that stuff is not meant to justify his treatment of his wife. No. It's meant to show that he is insecure in all aspects of
Sarah:his And has been for generations.
Mark:And has been for generations.
Sarah:We were Donald Duck before Donald Duck. Yeah. Yeah. If you can't shoot them pluck them.
Mark:Meanwhile the
Sarah:Mowry Tony's Duck hat is awesome too by the way.
Mark:Tony's Duck hat is awesome and the Mowry show up and talk about birds.
Sarah:Well uncle Walter knows his stuff. Yes he does. That blue duck. Yeah. The
Mark:Yeah. W H I O. A word that is hard to say.
Sarah:It's like a whistle. It's a word.
Mark:It's a word that lacks a consonant at the
Sarah:end. Mhmm. But I love how they list all the birds. They're like, no that one's extinct. That's not that's not around.
Sarah:Then it's not that one. No not that one.
Mark:And all those birds like, I don't wanna say anything, but all those birds are listed on the New Zealand bird hunting website. Yeah. Like, that I went to.
Sarah:Like, you think the writers just, like, googled bird hunting and got
Mark:the list? I think what happened is Tim Baum written one. Tim Baum said, I know people who are into duck hunting. I should do a duck hunting episode.
Sarah:Mhmm.
Mark:It's a big thing here. Yep. So if I'm gonna do a duck hunting episode, I should have a woman protesting the duck hunting because that I'm sure there were stories about this.
Sarah:Oh yes.
Mark:And wouldn't that be interesting to hide a murder where somebody was protesting duck hunting and they got killed. And murder is hidden in that. I'm 100% sure that that is the genesis of this story, which is a valid genesis of the story. The problem is there's no inciting incident and you have to assume that the sister is Looney McTooney.
Sarah:I know what the inciting incident is.
Mark:Okay. What's the exciting incident?
Sarah:It's return of the spirit of Wild Bill Baker pretending to be a ghost.
Mark:But but she's the ghost.
Sarah:She's possessed by his hat.
Mark:Oh, she's possessed by his hat.
Sarah:No. I just I love Did not know. How his uncle says, I don't believe in ghosts, but I believe in spirits. And maybe he came back as a ghost.
Mark:And then the sister who is Looney Tooney, Jenny, drops the guilt on Mike. Do you have a sister? When was the last time you talked to her?
Sarah:I don't know, sister killer. Who are you
Mark:to talk? Whatever. You were so in love with your sister you managed to kill her to get to her husband.
Sarah:She should have spent more time in the toad and lion. An aspirational establishment. She might have met a nice man. I love that the uncles have the theory about how Wild Bill Baker died from a bird dropping onto his face. Yes.
Sarah:Into his face and killing him.
Mark:Like and
Sarah:all Nobody was there to see it but it had to have happened that way cause that's the most epic way we can imagine. Yes. And he was epic, so he definitely died in an epic way even though nobody was there.
Mark:All know people who are like that.
Sarah:Because he was a legend.
Mark:Yep. Those sort of local legend people are always interesting to me.
Sarah:Mrs. M gets an almond and turmeric macchiato. Yes. And I was like, surely that's something they made up. No.
Sarah:No, people do drink turmeric in their coffee. Yep. It's got to taste like a roast dinner.
Mark:I don't know. I guess.
Sarah:Don't think I would like that. Heart stalking. Do you want that shirt? Those tourists sure do. They get a free t shirt.
Sarah:Tourists never make out well in Brokenwood. Chinese tourists.
Mark:Yeah. We need a shirt in the shop. We need more merch by the way. Yeah. By
Sarah:Are you trying to pay for the furnace? We don't make any money off the merch.
Mark:We need a t shirt in the shop that says, I was a fake Chinese tourist on Broken Floor.
Sarah:And all I got was a stupid t shirt.
Mark:All I got was a stupid t shirt.
Sarah:I was attacked by a giant spider in Brokenwood and all I got was a stupid t shirt.
Mark:Yes.
Sarah:And not the shark fin soup I expected to have.
Mark:What does this episode need more of? Well, mister Buchanan. Dennis Buchanan of course. He's here for The Hobbit. They're so mean to Frodo in his time of need.
Sarah:He's he's struggling. He's so hungover. He's really sad. He thinks he might have killed somebody. And there are days in it.
Mark:Title in my note that says poor drunk Frodo.
Sarah:No. Really, he should be wearing one of the iHeart stocking shirts.
Mark:Yes. The shooter sign, like the best shooters of the year sign Mhmm. Is made of wood and has names going back to the middle of the nineteenth twentieth century.
Sarah:Mhmm.
Mark:There is a lot of work put in that sign that shows up in one scene for about four seconds.
Sarah:But none of them are Ducker.
Mark:Nope. Let's have a reference to Gallipoli because we're AustralianNew Zealand people.
Sarah:Well, Jenny has the family gun on the wall. Yes. Do you think she's the older sister?
Mark:I think she is.
Sarah:So she's the keeper of the family history?
Mark:Because first of all, as we all know, youngest siblings are smart enough not to kill off other siblings. That's true. We would we would never do that.
Sarah:No, we wouldn't. So? We're We're youngest siblings and we We We are wise.
Mark:We we are very wise.
Sarah:We learn from the screw ups of our older siblings.
Mark:We are never spoiled. We know that we are never spoiled.
Sarah:And we're
Mark:And we had it the roughest. It's just the truth.
Sarah:And that's what makes us the smartest. Yes. Yeah, absolutely. So she's got the family gun, but she says it's decommissioned. Yes.
Sarah:But she never checked. No. Whatever. Whatever. I'm not buying it.
Sarah:And she's clearly studied quite a bit of military history.
Mark:Yeah she has.
Sarah:Because she rigs up the super gadget with the rusty wire.
Mark:Yes. So this is where Dawn comes in and stands in front of the domestic violence poster and we're meant to have an ironic moment there.
Sarah:He might be a bit controlling and stereotypical, but he's also legitimately upset that his wife was shtuping the eggman.
Mark:Coo coo coo choo.
Sarah:Maybe he could have been a
Mark:better This episode needed an intimacy coordinator.
Sarah:Yeah. There was some intimacy going on.
Mark:There I was just waiting for the moment where she put her hand back and broke an egg. Oh. It's a metaphor.
Sarah:Like she's on the counter and she breaks an egg?
Mark:Yes. So this is where we get to the serious portion of the episode.
Sarah:How many mothers pluck ducks with their brother if a mother could duck pluck ducks with their brother?
Mark:If the last one has mother duckers in, I'm out. Mother duckers.
Sarah:Hughes shows up and Mrs. M. And Breen are practicing. How many mothers would pluck ducks with their and he's like, I don't wanna interrupt you.
Mark:The comedy of Breen and Missus Marlowe. Missus Marlowe and the Hughes walking in.
Sarah:Is perfect here. Well, Hughes walks in in thirty seconds goes, wasn't Frodo. Bye.
Mark:Yeah. I'm out. Well, and Hughes Hughes does a great job. They do a really good job of filming this because you immediately know even though Hughes is in his uniform who he is and that he's in charge.
Sarah:Yeah. He carries himself. Yeah. He's also incredibly tall.
Mark:He is indeed. I forgot because I watched an earlier episode because I had to prepare for the mini episode. Mhmm. He had a beard in one episode. Yeah.
Mark:Yeah. I forgot he was in a beard, so. Ready for this?
Sarah:Yes. How many strings would a string strummer pluck if a string strummer could pluck strings?
Mark:How many strings would a string strummer pluck if a string strummer could pluck strings?
Sarah:You did that one very well. Yes. How much muck would a gooey duck chuck if a gooey duck could chuck muck?
Mark:How much muck would a mothered gooey duck mother gooey duck could chuck gooey duck
Sarah:much muck would a gooey duck chuck if a gooey duck chuck could chuck muck? No. I'm out. You can't do it?
Mark:I'm tapping out.
Sarah:I love getting gooey duck into things.
Mark:Well, and you just think about what it looks like too.
Sarah:Like a phallus in a shell? Yes. They're nasty. They would chuck muck if they could because they're gross. They're gross.
Sarah:People eat them. If you don't know what a gooey duck is, Google it.
Mark:It's not a duck.
Sarah:It's spelled g e o duck. It's not geoduck.
Mark:No. It's gooey duck. It's gooey duck.
Sarah:And they're gross. Yes. So Hugh shows up, frees Frodo, and then they're like, oh well if it wasn't Frodo, it was Jenny. Yes. Like, Mike just gets it, everything clicks.
Sarah:So what does he do?
Mark:He puts himself in mortal danger.
Sarah:Goes to her place so she can try to kill him.
Mark:Yes. Oh, we forgot. We need to go back.
Sarah:Okay.
Mark:Because Dawn's wife gets shot.
Sarah:Oh, that's right. Never mind. Missus Ducker, mother Ducker gets shot. And because they do have kids. The kids have been sent to the city.
Sarah:And it She is a mother Ducker.
Mark:So she shoots mother ducker right in the muck. Yeah. Right in her driveway. Right in her driveway.
Sarah:Dressed like the ghost of Baker.
Mark:And immediately go, oh, that's Jenny.
Sarah:Of course it
Mark:is. You absolutely know. In broad daylight. In broad day she is Looney McTooney.
Sarah:With Ducker's gun. Yeah. She doesn't die that we know of. She's it's serious, but she's not dead. Yeah.
Sarah:I cannot imagine how traumatic and terrifying it would be to be in close proximity to somebody who has a gun that big pointed at you, who is that crazy, who has already shot two people Yep. And is threatening you.
Mark:Mike is extremely brave here.
Sarah:I I think I would puke everywhere Yep. And it would kind of ruin the mood.
Mark:Sims is excellent. Mhmm. She listens to Hughes and Hughes trusts her.
Sarah:Yep.
Mark:And Hughes gives her Hughes is the
Sarah:And Ollie screws everything up. Eggman is like, I I love you. Like, come on, dude. Somebody's life is on the line. Be convincing.
Mark:The the best part to me of the whole end scene is Sims is allowed to show leadership and Hugh shows leadership and believing in her
Sarah:leadership. Mhmm.
Mark:And checks in, are you good with this? Yeah. She goes, I'm good. Yeah. And that's all he needs.
Mark:Nope. So that's fantastic. Yeah. The but
Sarah:the But mean, swear. But the guys with the guns do materialize out of nowhere.
Mark:Like actual says Bertie Dern, which is rare for this show Yeah. And rare for any show that we watch. What does he say? He said I think he says shit. Oh.
Sarah:And dun dun dun. Mike is being held at gunpoint by an
Mark:inspirational person. Breen is frustrated. Yeah. But also I like that Breen isn't like I'm gonna go in there and shoot it up. No.
Mark:He is like we follow procedure.
Sarah:Yeah. Does have to go find Ollie.
Mark:And Sims is in control. So what Sims says, I do. Yeah. I don't argue with her.
Sarah:I don't But she's superior to him, so he has to. Yeah. Yeah. Then Ollie comes and the Eggman screws everything up.
Mark:He screws it all up.
Sarah:Like I know he's upset because she killed his wife and shot his girlfriend. I get it. Yes. But somebody else's life is on the line now.
Mark:Yes.
Sarah:So fake it dude. Suck it If
Mark:if you're gonna be bait, be good bait.
Sarah:Yeah. Or don't do it at all. Yeah. Either say, I've always loved you of course, you know. Like how hard is that?
Mark:Yeah. Like he totally doesn't know how to fake it.
Sarah:Then Mike has to be off screen super heroic. Yes. Because he clearly dives for her when she's about to shoot herself and the bullet goes into the ceiling and gets plaster all over her So
Mark:what happens is Ollie is bad so she decides that maybe I'm in a bit of spot of bother here.
Sarah:Things are not going to go back to normal just because I wish it.
Mark:So she decides that maybe shooting herself might be a solution to this problem. And thankfully, Mike does Mike things and stops her. Which But we But it's great how it's portrayed.
Sarah:I'm glad that he stopped her from killing her self, but it would not have been the worst thing. He would have felt bad.
Mark:He would have felt bad.
Sarah:But she's gonna go to prison forever.
Mark:She is going to prison forever. Hopefully. This incident has ruined this Duck Club.
Sarah:The DSA is done.
Mark:I can only imagine.
Sarah:Though I don't know because here's what I think happens after the credits. Okay. I think
Mark:Well Mike calls his sister. We know that happened.
Sarah:That happens before the credits. Yeah. I think Don Ducker and Mother Ducker get split up. Well yeah. Right?
Sarah:I think they go their separate ways, amicably, but they go their separate ways. And then I think
Mark:I would think that he would be insecure and be like, well I don't want you now. And she'd be like, okay.
Sarah:Oh darn.
Mark:I'm moving to town. But then I
Sarah:think Don Ducker really needs the club. Oh, think he does. So maybe the club sticks around but it's kinda sad because it's dawn desperate for friends. Six weeks a year.
Mark:I would like to think that the next year Frodo gets the prize for the best duck guy. But I also don't want Frodo going anywhere near weapons any
Sarah:The next year, Frodo should should compete in the duck butter sculpture competition.
Mark:Is there something?
Sarah:No. Not shooting involved. No. No. Like best duck flavored coffee.
Mark:The sister is going up the river. Way up
Sarah:the river. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Jenny's Jenny's going to prison.
Mark:Ollie's life is completely ruined. Because I don't think missus Ducker
Sarah:who Mother Ducker. He's When she gets out of the hospital.
Mark:He's a Ducker Muff. I'm trying to say this.
Sarah:He's a he's a Mother Ducker effort. Effort. Beep.
Mark:But I don't think she's gonna want a lot to do with him after this.
Sarah:He he owes her something. Well, okay. His sister-in-law shot her because they had a fun egg afternoon. That put her in the targets of the crazy lady.
Mark:I realize all that, but I think she's probably gonna be like, I don't want anything to do with you.
Sarah:Yeah. I wouldn't blame her. I don't think they're gonna be a couple for sure. They had one afternoon delight over the eggs. It's not like they had a relationship.
Mark:Do they Do Ollie and his dead wife have children? I don't think so. I don't think so. So he just has his ducks
Sarah:And his
Mark:pigs. And his
Sarah:giant birds that we don't see that lay those big eggs.
Mark:So he can go on being the eggman? Yeah. Not that like anyone in this town wants to eat duck eggs at this point.
Sarah:He's living off the land. Maybe there's a third sister that we just don't know about.
Mark:Who is even more crazy.
Sarah:Who's perfectly normal and comes to help? I'm adopted. It's okay. I'm normal. I guess.
Sarah:Now,
Mark:the question I have about after the episode is this. Mhmm. We know that Don Ducker and Mother Ducker Mhmm. Have children. Mhmm.
Mark:They've gone to the city. Mhmm. Do they have a boy child and is his name Donald? Yes. So there is a Donald Ducker the fourth.
Sarah:If there's not a Donna Ducker the third. These
Mark:are our children, Donna and Dana?
Sarah:Yeah. Donna and Dana out on the dick.
Mark:They're listening to ee me nee mee. This is the worst New Zealand impressions that
Sarah:we've Don and Don Donna Ducker on the dick. Plucking the ducks.
Mark:Being dickheads.
Sarah:I I see him as the kind of person who would be like, if the first child is a girl, we must have another one.
Mark:Yo. Totally.
Sarah:That's why I think they probably have a son, and I can't imagine him having a son and not calling him Don Ducker.
Mark:I do wish there was a moment of come up and upence to him. Yeah. Because you almost could feel sympathetic for him at the end because his wife did get shot even though she got shot because she was sleeping with the crazy lady's Brother-in-law. Pretend brother-in-law boyfriend.
Sarah:Yeah. Eggman. Eggman. Cuckoo cuckoo chew. Ollie the Eggman.
Sarah:Yeah it would have been nice if you know, if if she'd been winged or something and she came out of the hospital before the end of the episode and was like, I don't want anything to do with you.
Mark:Yes. I would have liked that.
Sarah:A brush with death has made me realize life is too short. I'm leaving.
Mark:I also like that Sims did a great job. Everyone says you did a great job and then everyone moves on. Mhmm. They don't make a big thing about it. They don't
Sarah:Or she still can't make coffee.
Mark:She's not perfect. They aren't like, we're so surprised you did a great job, woman.
Sarah:No. We expected you to and you did. Good.
Mark:Yep. You're a good cop.
Sarah:Yeah. So, yeah. Yeah. You should go join the DSA. No.
Sarah:That is dead man don't Shoot Ducks, Babies.
Mark:So in two weeks we have yeah, it's a weird I
Sarah:laugh at my own jokes.
Mark:It's a weird named episode.
Sarah:How much men would a dead duck shoot if a dead duck could shoot?
Mark:I think Tim Baum had that idea and painted himself into a corner and was like, well, she's loony.
Sarah:I I don't know what other motives she could have. Yeah. I've always hated my sister. She looked at me funny just one more time and I couldn't take it.
Mark:And okay.
Sarah:I found this baller hat and I got inspired. I don't know.
Mark:We're Ollie is already susceptible and open to other activities. Mhmm. Or else he wouldn't have been going in and talking to her.
Sarah:Mhmm.
Mark:Like, so Yeah. Because Why does he not why does she not just seduce her brother?
Sarah:Her brother just don't want anything to do with her. She's Jenny.
Mark:Then she would know that he had nothing, he didn't want to do anything.
Sarah:Yeah, well, that's not how real stalkers work. They interpret everything the way they want. There's no He smiled at me that day. That means that he actually loves me.
Mark:But So show us that. I wish they had shown it.
Sarah:A little bit more of her misinterpreting him?
Mark:Yes.
Sarah:Yeah. Maybe. You just want an inciting evidence.
Mark:I do. I do. I'm a stickler for that.
Sarah:I I'm telling you. I think she found that hat somewhere in a junk sale and got inspired. I can pretend to be the ghost of Baker and finally kill my sister.
Mark:And mother ducker.
Sarah:Yes.
Mark:Okay. So that like that's the part that I like that she's nuts and then she finds out that that Ollie and Mother Ducker are ducking and she goes and shoots her right away.
Sarah:They're crushing eggs together.
Mark:Like, I like that because
Sarah:Yeah.
Mark:That's what an insane person would do. Yep. So Okay. So this episode drops on the April 28. Mhmm.
Mark:We are taking a week off because I am doing free comic book day.
Sarah:But not completely off because we will be releasing another mini.
Mark:Yes. So we have probably three episodes in May, '3 full episodes, and six minis to go. Yeah. You could get you could get nine episodes in May.
Sarah:Yeah. We got a lot. Yeah. We're gonna be busy. It's gonna be good.
Mark:So we return to full episodes on the May 12. I cannot believe it is the May 12 already.
Sarah:By then, I will be 50.
Mark:Sarah's birthday is right around there. You have big plans.
Sarah:$35,000
Mark:for 50 years old. Big birthday. Mother's We will be covering the Fantastic Dead and Buried, is the episode where all the female killers Mhmm. Come back. Because remember Trudy's in jail at this point in
Sarah:time. Yeah.
Mark:And then we'll start season seven with two of my favorite named episodes. One, season seven episode one, The Garrott and Winklebran, which is the the episode in which they evaluate the antiques. Yeah.
Sarah:Like Antiques roadshow.
Mark:Roadshow. And then The Witches of Brokenwood is the next episode after Yes. So we expect lots of Maniac material in the month of May. It's Maniac May.
Sarah:I like it. Maniacal May.
Mark:Somehow we generate that YouTube money to pay for HVAC, baby.
Sarah:Until then. Bye, maniacs.
Mark:Bye, maniacs. Thanks for joining us on the mystery maniacs podcast. If you enjoyed our crazy podcast today, don't miss out on future episodes. Follow us on social media for updates, beyond the scenes content, and exclusive sneak peeks. Subscribe, like, and share to spread the word.
Mark:Bye, Maniacs. Why do I suddenly need to cough when I'm on microphone?
Sarah:Five. Four. Three. Two.
