Fondue Fork Ninja | Brokenwood | "Here's to You, Mrs. Robinson" | Mystery Maniacs Podcast EP242
You see it going right at Sasha's. Hey, maniacs.
Mark:Hey, mystery maniacs. Mystery maniacs is a comedy recap podcast dedicated to mystery TV. We're dedicated. Yes. Each week, we dig into an episode of the show including the murders, the mayhem, the loonies, and everything else we love.
Sarah:This week, Brokenwood Mystery season seven episode six, here's to you, missus Robinson. I'm Mark. I'm Sarah.
Mark:It's a spoiler podcast, so we're gonna give away the end, which is weird and strange.
Sarah:And if you let your kids go to key parties
Mark:I guess. They can listen to this episode. Oh. Couple of things off the top. First of all, I keep I said native last week in the episode twice.
Mark:I should have said indigenous. I apologize if I offended anyone. It's just a habit and I needed to make a correction. Mhmm. That's No one said anything.
Mark:It's just I noticed it when I was editing.
Sarah:Even better if you catch it yourself.
Mark:As some of you know, I edit at 1.45 times the speed of speaking. So we sound like kind of chipmunks.
Sarah:Uh-huh. Like high chipmunks.
Mark:It didn't make it any better.
Sarah:Ugh. Another thing that's not any better is my face.
Mark:Oh, poor Sarah.
Sarah:Last Sunday, I was eating something. I don't even remember what it was. Whatever it was, it was not on the naughty list of things not to eat when you have crowns, and yet I did not lose a crown. The tooth completely broke off
Mark:at the gum line Yes.
Sarah:Leaving a black hole
Mark:A cavity.
Sarah:Of pain in my in my jaw
Mark:Poor Sarah.
Sarah:That I didn't wasn't able to get fixed until Thursday. Boy, I tell you, there are lots of sounds in the world that you don't wanna hear. One of them has got to be the crack crunch sound of the dentist breaking a tooth Yes. In your jaw to get it out.
Mark:Most definitely. This is this is a show of a certain age.
Sarah:Then, you know, they're like, yeah, just go take some Tylenol. You'll be good. Yep. Like, I it's been two days, and I still feel like somebody kicked me in my face.
Mark:Oh, poor thing.
Sarah:But at least I don't sound wrong, do I? No. Like, not like when I came home from the dentist and I was like, babys. You
Mark:were kinda rough when you came home from the dentist. I will admit that.
Sarah:If you don't subscribe to the newsletter, you should.
Mark:Couple of reasons why. One, we're awesome. Plus, you get a picture of Olive every month.
Sarah:But Mark has a knack of finding something unexpected, but interesting to throw into the newsletter every month.
Mark:I try to write a little not an essay. I don't wanna come off like I'm preachy or anything. But I write a little thought. Yeah. A little a little bon moi of thoughts.
Sarah:I always find them interesting. Maybe it's because I find you interesting. Wow.
Mark:But Thank you.
Sarah:I think they're good.
Mark:Well, this month I included strangely enough a video by a bunch of guys on YouTube named Corridor Crew who made a video for their moms. Now they do FX related videos. They review FX and they make effects. They're very film centered young men. Usually.
Sarah:Yes. In this video Not
Mark:men and women. Sorry.
Sarah:But in this video, their concern was they were worried about people in general not being able to tell whether AI generated video was real or not and they were specifically curious if their mothers could.
Mark:Yes. So they had their mothers on, which I thought was brilliant.
Sarah:And then they walked through, was it five ways to tell that a video is AI generated? I work in AI every day, and I found it really useful.
Mark:And it's not condescending. It's actually kind of sweet.
Sarah:Yeah. It is. It's But super smart.
Mark:It's Smart.
Sarah:You included it in the newsletter, and we'll link to it in the show notes today too. We just think it's it's worth watching.
Mark:It's like a public service. Less than fifteen minutes. Now their demographic is way different than our demographic. Yeah. And the video is is kind of pointed at our demographic.
Mark:So that's why I'm sharing it.
Sarah:Yeah. I I learned something, like I said. Yep. So it was it was worth sharing.
Mark:We lost Kenneth Cauley this week.
Sarah:He was in the midsummer about UFOs. Right?
Mark:Yes. Lloyd Kirby.
Sarah:Yeah. He's the ufologist. Ufologist in the infamous naked butt in the crowd the crop circle videos episode.
Mark:Also, Admiral Petite In
Sarah:Star Wars.
Mark:In Star Wars. And do you know what he played in Life of Brian? No. He was Jesus.
Sarah:Oh. And he was 88?
Mark:88. I do not believe any human has played those three parts
Sarah:I know.
Mark:Ever. Quite that's quite span. And an imperial admiral. Yeah. That's quite the career.
Mark:Definitely quite the career.
Sarah:Are you ready?
Mark:And he was he was brilliant in in Midsommar, one of our favorite episodes. He was a a great character actor who obviously worked really hard over the years Yeah. And did some amazing stuff and we're sad to see him go, but he was 88, so
Sarah:Good life. Yes. Are you ready to talk about Here's to You, Mrs. Robinson?
Mark:Yes. So, let's start with the title. So, the title is from the Simon and Garfunkel song called Mrs. Robinson, which was sort of made for the film The Graduate. Mhmm.
Mark:It's difficult to kind of tease out the details
Sarah:Which first year.
Mark:But this is definitely one of those instances where two things happened that were totally on accident and relate to how people write songs that people who don't write songs don't understand. So the fact that was they just had a three syllable name for this person. So it wasn't missus Robinson until the film.
Sarah:It could have been missus missus Peterson?
Mark:Yeah. It could have been missus Peterson. Mhmm. So there's that. And then there's the line about the it's a it's a really touching line about Joe DiMaggio.
Mark:Where have you gone? The nation turns its lonely eyes to you. That's a really good line. Joe DiMaggio went on talk shows going, I'm right here. I'm doing commercials.
Sarah:I'm doing all this stuff. If you're looking for me, I'm easy to find.
Mark:And they talked about it. It's just he just liked the way it sounded, just liked the syllables. It
Sarah:just it's Nostalgia.
Mark:It's it's it had nothing to do with the real Joe DiMaggio.
Sarah:Well, he went from being an inspiring athlete to a guy in commercials. Yes. So the true inspiring Joe DiMaggio was gone. Anyway, that's the reference. Yep.
Sarah:This episode has two stories. And we're going to treat them as two stories. Because in the episode, they cut back and forth, back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. It's rather tedious to talk about in that way. So it's easier just to talk about one story and then talk about the other.
Sarah:So we're gonna talk about Mike's story
Mark:So Mike loses a friend and finds love.
Sarah:He does? Yes. Beth. Oh, the nurse.
Mark:Yes. There's in four more sorry. Six more episodes.
Sarah:I forgot that they have a relationship.
Mark:Yes. They do.
Sarah:So in in earlier episodes, we know that Mike is sort of responsible for a woman named Tanya
Mark:Yes.
Sarah:Who is in witness protection.
Mark:And her, like She and
Sarah:her kids are in hiding.
Mark:So porno Hughes and young Mike saved
Sarah:her. Right.
Mark:Call him porno Hughes because he has a But then he later got rid of the mustache. But they screwed it all up in this episode because he has mustache throughout time in this episode. He's re porno Hughes. He's re porno Hughes.
Sarah:He's return of porno Hughes. So she's testified against the gang of men who killed her husband because he was gonna testify against them. And so she goes on the run, and Mike her lifeline, kind of. He's the one person who knows who she is that she's allowed to contact. And so she does from time to time, and they have kind of a bittersweet relationship.
Sarah:I think she acknowledges that he probably, that going into witness protection saved her and her children's lives, but yet it meant that she had to give her life up.
Mark:Yes.
Sarah:And she's not especially happy about that, which I can completely understand.
Mark:Yes.
Sarah:But now she's dying.
Mark:She's dying and she'd like to see her family. So this story was completely forgotten. And then I think I I don't know if they always wanted to bring it back, but they certainly did wanna bring it back.
Sarah:And Well, the last episode of the season.
Mark:It's the last episode of the season. I also think it's a vehicle for Mike's relationship to start.
Sarah:Mhmm.
Mark:I also think this is Nick Ray like saying, I'm the star of the show, I'd like to do something a little different.
Sarah:Mhmm.
Mark:You know, this Neil Ray. Yeah. Sorry. Neil Ray. It becomes kind of a it's two episodes.
Sarah:See, I think it's less about him and more about Sims. I think it's the taking him out of the storyline means that that she gets to step up.
Mark:Well, so So there's that benefit. They obviously wanted to take Mike out of the storyline to make Stims interesting.
Sarah:And wrap up the Tanya storyline.
Mark:And wrap up the so they're like, what are we gonna do with Mike? Well, let's wrap up the Tanya storyline.
Sarah:So it's it's very sweet. I think it's it's a very touching storyline.
Mark:I think they do an excellent job at it. Yeah. Some of those things can come off as sugary or like they never spend too much time with them. And and it kind of gives you a break from the other horrible people in the episode. So he reads a book to the the children.
Mark:Mike reads a book. Mhmm. And it's called Jive's Pie Pie Diggers. A tale of sand, self shellfish and toes. And it's an actual book.
Mark:Jive's a little Maori boy, two years old. His mother is always telling him what beautiful pee pee diggers he has. Jive doesn't know what pee pee digger is until his mom takes him to the beach one day and shows him how to gather pee pee with his toes. Pee pee, I'm assuming, are selfish.
Sarah:I hope so. Pie pie. Pie pie, thank you. Maybe.
Mark:So this is the book that his dad read to him the night before he left, like, was killed. It's a beautiful book. Yeah. If you have children who read books or grandchildren who read books, buy this book. It looks good.
Sarah:It's a sweet the whole story with Tanya is very sweet. I think they end it well. They break her anonymity, and Hughes sees that her family gets to her before she dies, and you see her reunited with her mother. And I cannot imagine knowing that to protect yourself, you have to break the hearts of everyone who cares about you. Because that's what she's done.
Sarah:She's disappeared.
Mark:Her mother Well, she makes Mike phone her mother because she knows her mother will be mad.
Sarah:Well, yeah. Her mother must have thought that she had died. Yeah. And and her grandchildren, you know. So okay.
Sarah:So there's
Mark:Beth Then then
Sarah:So Let's talk about the
Mark:other Beth as an Yes. Beth sees the best of of
Sarah:Mike.
Mark:Mike and falls in love with him.
Sarah:Yes. As she should. Spoiler. So Okay. Now Now let's talk about this lame party.
Mark:The lamest
Sarah:party ever. It's a 20 birthday party for Olivia and Frazier, who I guess are twins.
Mark:I guess there are there are so many things not said in this episode that need to be said. Yeah. Are they twins?
Sarah:They they must be.
Mark:Yes.
Sarah:And it's a sixties, seventies themed party, which I don't know why twenty one year olds would wanna have.
Mark:Well, know, they're all retro. No.
Sarah:No. No. But even if they do, I think it's really clear that their parents are more into it than they are.
Mark:I agree.
Sarah:And the part that bothers me the most is that in the intro There's to a the episode lot of the party.
Mark:Yeah.
Sarah:The part that bothered me the most is in the intro to the episode, there's a camera view of, like, people coming in the front door. And so you see the front door open in. And on the outside of the front door is a decoration that is a gold key. It's a big key. Like, it's gonna be a key party
Mark:Like Which is with your kids?
Sarah:That is so just the idea of that joke. What it reminded If you don't know what a key party is, it's back in the '60s and '70s. There were these swinger parties where couples would show up, they would put their keys in a fishbowl. And the men would choose at random a set of keys out, and that's the woman that he would go to bed with that night. It was swinger stuff anyway.
Mark:It
Sarah:It's not appropriate for your kid's birthday party even if they are 21.
Mark:No. But what it reminded me of is current events. So did you hear about the foam party in Venice? No. So this horrible woman that Jeff Bezos married, a horrible person, They spent $50,000
Sarah:Millions.
Mark:Each guest. Millions.
Sarah:Oh, on each guest.
Mark:Yeah. On each guest. Horrible The waste of whole it's celebrity in any anyway, like the day before the wedding, they had a foam party for her 21 year old's birth 18 year old's birthday.
Sarah:Mhmm.
Mark:And they went to this foam party. Yuck. Like, not only is Jeff Bezos know what I want from every
Sarah:day for you not to come to my party.
Mark:Yeah. Oh. Jeez. Anyway. The mom is in the bath, is in the spa with a bong in her.
Mark:That's what I thought it
Sarah:was at first. That's a yard glass.
Mark:It's a yard glass.
Sarah:Right off the bat, all I'm thinking of, that's not how that works. And I assumed that the yard glass had been broken. Like, if you break a beer bottle and stab somebody with it.
Mark:So it has an open end, which you drink from. It's like a big vase. Like a big vase. And then it has a bulb at the bottom.
Sarah:Right. Okay. And if you were gonna stab somebody with it, you'd snap the neck off so it was jaggedy and sharp, then you
Mark:stab it. Go stabbing.
Sarah:Now, course not how it happened.
Mark:You couldn't do that. You break one part of that, the whole thing's gonna shatter.
Sarah:Maybe. But if you if it was gonna work, that's what you'd have to do. Certainly, you wouldn't do it like she does it.
Mark:The person who kills her mom the sorry. Olivia. Olivia who kills her mom jabs it down on her. A
Sarah:hole. Intact yard glass.
Mark:And all I could think was it went Yeah.
Sarah:That if it was on bare skin, it would make a
Mark:It's Steve Martin and Roseanne.
Sarah:Yeah. But she's got a dress on, so it wouldn't even do that. It would just make a big bruise and probably break.
Mark:And chatter in her arms. Yeah. Never mind how
Sarah:What I wanted
Mark:She's the ninja with the fondue fork.
Sarah:What I wanted was them to holler out of the hot tub and the other half of the yard glass to be sticking out of her back.
Mark:That would have been brilliant.
Sarah:With a chunk of spine stuck in it.
Mark:It's clogged with a chunk of spine. Anyway, she's killed oh, we're we're going right to the end here. Well, because killed so soon after that she's actually killed with the poisonous ninja
Sarah:Fondue fork?
Mark:Fondue fork that it would have shot whatever. It would
Sarah:have looked like a lab experiment Yes. Inside that Yes. Inside that yard glass, Which would have been weird too, if when they found her, was full of blood. That would I'm sorry we're being so gross, but it would have been weird too. Gina would have had a field day with that.
Mark:Oh.
Sarah:And then when you take it out
Mark:So they find out about this at the cop shop. There's an emergency. Mike gets an emergency call and gets called away. Yep. 62 Tullamore Rise is the address.
Mark:Mhmm. There's no Tullamore like that in New Zealand. The closest one I could find was Perth, Australia, which is on the other side of Australia.
Sarah:Mhmm.
Mark:And Tullamore is a a town in The Republic Of Ireland. It's an actual town. So but then So Mike
Sarah:takes off.
Mark:Sims shows her phone to the camera.
Sarah:Because he texts her and says, take the lead on this one. Yes. Does not explain where he's going or what he's doing.
Mark:We'll be in touch. Em, there are previous text messages from that morning on her screen. Okay. The first one is
Sarah:From Mike. Because it's a con Yes. Her conversation with Mike Shepherd.
Mark:With Mike Shepherd.
Sarah:Okay.
Mark:No problem. Could you please grab a couple of bottles of milk on the way too? So I'm assuming this is coming into the office.
Sarah:Is that from him or from her?
Mark:That's from
Sarah:him. Oh, asking her to get milk?
Mark:Yes.
Sarah:Okay.
Mark:Oh, no. No. No. Sorry. That is her asking Mike to do
Sarah:milk for the office.
Mark:Do they not have an office manager?
Sarah:It's that guy upstairs. What's his name? Keith? Nigel. Nigel.
Sarah:Yeah. It's Nigel upstairs.
Mark:Now, the the important part of the second story here, I totally agree with what you're saying and the the big thing for me revolving around that story, which is Sims is more than capable of running an investigation. Mhmm. More than capable of figuring things out which is exactly what she does.
Sarah:Mhmm. And because this is well written Chalmers doesn't have a pissing match with
Mark:her The thing I really liked is Chalmers in front of uniforms says boss Mhmm. When he calls her. He just moves naturally into that. Yep. It's it's not even a thing
Sarah:Nope.
Mark:To him. It shouldn't be. And that that It's sad
Sarah:that we have to make note of that because it would so often be a thing.
Mark:And really what he should be saying is, boss, I found a victim of a fondue fork ninja. Because he finds the second victim. We usually don't get two bodies in in Brokenwood. No. But we have two in the first five minutes of this episode.
Sarah:And I'm pointing a finger right at the uniforms on the scene because I'm sorry. She's like maybe 15 feet away from the edge of the deck in a yellow dress, and nobody noticed her. Well They should have canvassed the area. There might have been a crazy killer out there in the woods with a handful of yard glasses waiting to kill other people.
Mark:They have their other daughter, Maddie. Oh, wait. She's not a daughter. She's just a friend who stays there all the time.
Sarah:She's there to support her friend.
Mark:She never leaves. Then she goes over to the friends, and she's humping on gross bits.
Sarah:Yeah. We'll get to that. Caleb gross bits. Is that what you call
Mark:him? He's horrible.
Sarah:What do you think of the house? Anne and Jim's house?
Mark:Well, I don't like the Jim's in it because I don't like Jim's. But their house is, like, bungalow standard kind of thing. It's beautiful.
Sarah:It They've got a view of the ocean. They do. I mean, it's far away, but it's a beautiful view.
Mark:And they have that nice hot tub. I do wish we had a hot tub in the backyard.
Sarah:But their deck bothers me. You see the railing? No. Okay. So this house is basically on a cliff, sort of, on the side of a very steep wooded hill.
Mark:Yes.
Sarah:And the railing is a freaking rope tied between some trees. Oh, Jesus. That's the railing. There's two. There's two ropes, but it's ropes.
Sarah:That is not to code. I'm sorry. Some drunk bastard is gonna die.
Mark:Clint's gonna fall over. Clint, I mean. Sorry.
Sarah:Glenn.
Mark:Glenn. Don't love. Chalmers is a good man in this episode. Mike is a good man in this episode. I'm not sure about the rest of the men in this episode.
Sarah:Well, that's not saying much for a show like So
Mark:Suddenly, Fraser can't move his legs. Yeah. How close is Chalmers to saying, get the up? Very close. Because he he does such a good job of implying that without him saying
Sarah:Well, even when he says we need to get an ambulance for him, he doesn't, like, stay with them and say, it's gonna be okay. No. Like like he normally would. He wanders off and talks to Sims.
Mark:To find another body.
Sarah:Yeah. And finds another body. It it's is this supposed to is so are we to believe this is completely psychological that Fraser can't move his legs?
Mark:He's in shock.
Sarah:Yeah.
Mark:Which hey. Alright. Mom's dead. Oh, wait. My girlfriend's dead.
Mark:Yeah. Shock. But Who lives with me. Oh.
Sarah:It's also a side effect of a nutmeg overdose. Anyone
Mark:who's lost someone or has had the bad effects of nutmeg overdoses, I'm sorry that has happened to you. I absolutely am not Everybody making
Sarah:grieves fun differently, of Mark. Some people grieve like
Mark:a nutmeg I'm not making fun of you. I'm making fun of this silly stupid episode.
Sarah:You're gonna smell like an apple pie forever.
Mark:How much nutmeg did you take? Well I sort of like, we have lots of kids. I kinda was like, can we do that with
Sarah:more kids? Well, because we got backups?
Mark:Is that what you're saying? Backups.
Sarah:Well, and you you also have to know that nutmeg is literally a nut. Right? So, like, our nutmeg, I have a nutmeg grinder. Yes. And I'm as soon as he said three packets of nutmeg, I just thought, man, he was turning that thing for a long time.
Sarah:Like just grating and grating and grating and grating grating
Mark:and grating. In a milkshake?
Sarah:Wouldn't you?
Mark:Well, no. Because it would make me sick. I'd put it
Sarah:in a glass of milk or something. Yeah. I mean, you can't just eat it with a spoon, but it's just dumb. I mean, come on.
Mark:Gina says that Mike never entertains guesswork. Has she met Mike? Because he guesses all the time.
Sarah:She only sees in Mike what she wants to.
Mark:Yes.
Sarah:I was pleased that she doesn't do her normal obstruction to the extent that she usually does. Yes. She does eventually concede that Mike is not there and is not going to be there. Yes. And so she actually has to inform Sims and Chalmers about what her findings are instead of I fully expected her to go, well, I'm not telling you anything until he comes back.
Mark:Now these two women do a fantastic dead body, both
Sarah:of them. Yes.
Mark:Both in the tub, out of the tub, and in the morgue, and in the trees. Well, Sasha has it easy. She's just leaning against
Sarah:the tree.
Mark:Leaning against the tree.
Sarah:She doesn't have to float with a plastic yard glass taped
Mark:to her belly. We're too implied. We're we're too to understand that after the the the female ninja fondue fork lady Olivia. Olivia. Through her magic throwing star Fondue fork.
Mark:That she sat there, She lied there for three to seven minutes bleeding out because she couldn't move because of the nutmeg. Yes. That's a sentence I just said.
Sarah:After she pulled the fondue fork out of her throat, she couldn't move because of the nutmeg.
Mark:Yes.
Sarah:Yes. That that poor woman.
Mark:By the way, we watched Thinners last night. You should watch Thinners. Oh, I know it's
Sarah:not for everybody.
Mark:It's not for everybody.
Sarah:It's a vampire
Mark:movie. It's a horror vampire movie, but if if that's your guess
Sarah:It's set in the South in the thirties. It's not for everybody.
Mark:If that's your bag, it's a good movie.
Sarah:But
Mark:But the
Sarah:me. Oh, that would be such an awful way to die, Sitting there bleeding out slowly.
Mark:Never mind. Like, okay. She could talk in the reenactment. Briefly. In the in the reenactment, she says something.
Mark:So she had she imagined you're walking back towards the party from being somewhere. Nutmegged. Wandering nutmegged.
Sarah:And suddenly A fondue
Mark:fork flies out of nowhere. Flies out of the darkness cutting your jugular vein.
Sarah:Now And you can't you can't make a tourniquet with your headscarf because it's your neck.
Mark:Yes. And then you see the the thing with the yard glass because that happens after she's thrown the fork away. Yeah. She must have been like, what is going what is this?
Sarah:What? Oh, I'm dead.
Mark:Oh, I'm dead.
Sarah:We laugh because we have to. I just think you'd be so annoyed to be killed by a fondue fart.
Mark:Oh my gosh.
Sarah:So I went through a phase as an early first married person with my first home.
Mark:Yes.
Sarah:When I thought having fondue parties was fun because it was kind of retro. And as soon as you say, oh, I like fondue pots, every relative gives you one for Christmas and your birthday and Mother's Day and whatever. So I had a dozen fondue pots. And I can tell you, of all the ones I had that came with their own forks, none of them were sharp enough to do this. Razor sharp.
Sarah:I would have had to shoot it with a bow and arrow at short range for it to scratch somebody. Yeah. None of those forks was that sharp.
Mark:Unless you're Ninja Olivia.
Sarah:Yeah. You'd be more likely to kill somebody by pouring molten cheese down their throat, down their windpipe than stabbing them.
Mark:It's the seven years version of Mortal Kombat.
Sarah:Yeah. Finish him. Fondue. Fight.
Mark:Sims picks up a pair of glasses, which are you're supposed to wear them to make it be weird. Like, it's like kind of like a rave accessory.
Sarah:They're like fly eyeglasses.
Mark:Which I quickly responded to as Chekhov's fly eyeglasses. Yeah. Because clearly they're gonna show up again.
Sarah:But we also get, because Fraser, he of the nutmeg overdose goes to the doctor, a hospital. New doctor. Yes. It's not Ginger Doctor.
Mark:But it's not Ginger Doctor, but I am stuck because so what happens is they're trying to figure out what's wrong with him and he won't say anything. Did you catch this? So what does Sim say?
Sarah:She's like, GBH, coke, meth, what did you that?
Mark:She says GHB.
Sarah:Okay. Is that not right?
Mark:No. That's grievous bot no. She says GBH. Oh. She says grievous bodily harm instead of GHP, which is the
Sarah:The drug?
Mark:The drug.
Sarah:What does that stand for?
Mark:I don't know. We're not
Sarah:drug people.
Mark:Grievous grievous bodily harm is the best name of any law ever.
Sarah:Wow. Then there's aggravated bodily
Mark:harm. Yes. And we find
Sarah:He out finally has to admit, Frazier has to admit it was nutmeg that he took. And Chalmers face is like, are you shitting me? Like really?
Mark:Yes.
Sarah:You moron. And Fraser knows he's a moron.
Mark:But unfortunately, Fraser is not the most moronic young man in this episode.
Sarah:No. Because Caleb's in it.
Mark:Caleb is in the episode. Who's Caleb again? One of the robbers.
Sarah:The dog faced robbers. Yeah. You know, the moral of this whole episode is don't wear an ugly jacket. Yes. If you don't wear an ugly jacket, none of this happens.
Mark:So first of all, it is denim. So it's already the Canadian tuxedo. Right? Lots of people like a denim jacket. Yep.
Mark:I have a denim jacket
Sarah:It's that I'm not allowed to wear. It's summertime.
Mark:It's summertime. It has Well,
Sarah:it's New Zealand. It's warm.
Mark:It has the lamb's wool.
Sarah:On the inside. On the inside. Which cannot be seasonal wear.
Mark:And cannot smell good. A young man who wears that all the time.
Sarah:Can you imagine what it smells like on the inside? And it has a big embroidered applique of an eagle on the back.
Mark:It's just the worst.
Sarah:It's just bad taste. And if he didn't have that bad taste, none of this would have happened.
Mark:Absolutely. So there's a creepy guy at the party that we only see briefly in the first part of the party.
Sarah:The cowboy hat.
Mark:The cowboy hat.
Sarah:Is it a leather cowboy hat?
Mark:I think it is.
Sarah:Oh, Glenn.
Mark:He's Clint because he thought it was a costume party. Why would you eat?
Sarah:Well, clearly I
Mark:don't know if he's creepier or stupider. Clearly. That's the two things I don't
Sarah:understand So with Susie, Caleb's mother, brought him as her plus one and clearly didn't care enough to explain to him that it was a 21 birthday party, that it was a sixties, seventies retro party. She just said it was fancy dress or led him to believe it was fancy dress, and so he decided to be Clint Eastwood.
Mark:Yes. What? Okay. And wear
Sarah:a leather hat and a blanket on Okay.
Mark:And then he drinks with 21 year olds. Okay. How old do you think he is?
Sarah:So this is another problem I have with this party. Even if the kids were into the theme, which they don't seem to be No. I think that Anne is basically throwing this party for herself. Yes. Because she likes it, and she thinks it's fun.
Sarah:Yes. So there's other I mean, 21 is an adult, but there are other older people at the party. It's not just Anne, Jim, Glenn, Susie, and a bunch of 21.
Mark:You are a clique of friends already who would be like looking at this party going, let's blow this pops in Yeah. And get out
Sarah:of here. Let's let the kids have their party and go.
Mark:Yeah. But No. No. So he's forcing a drink down a 21 year old's throat, which
Sarah:No. He's helping a kid drink a yard.
Mark:I don't like it.
Sarah:He's not a kid. He's 21. Still. He's a grown up. Let's talk about Glenn.
Sarah:Okay. He's back in town. We saw him last time. Yes. His girlfriend, the murdering antique show host
Mark:Yes.
Sarah:Is gone, obviously.
Mark:And we find out that he's Clint from the party, and Chalmers sits on that so well.
Sarah:Just surrounded.
Mark:He's like, I'll give you this piece of information, I'll give you this piece of information. And then Sims is like, but we still don't know who Clint is? And then he goes, well, actually
Sarah:You think Glenn is creepy?
Mark:Yes. Because he because he has an idea that they have a relationship. He is the horrible of horrible men. They don't have a relationship. They barely have a friendship.
Mark:They're barely acquaintances. Yeah. And it's creepy that he is assuming that they're more. And then when he talks to her in the door, he stands too close to her.
Sarah:Okay. I think you could spin it. You could see it as very sweet. He's not stalking her. He's not following her around.
Sarah:He's just asking her out here and there.
Mark:He moved to Brokenwood.
Sarah:He's not forcing himself on her in any way and insinuating himself in her life. Yes, he happened to be at the party, but he didn't know there was gonna be a murder at the party or two. The only thing about him that that pushes me over the edge into the definitively creepy is the way he's apparently talking about her to other people. Yes. Insinuating that they have a relationship.
Mark:It's not as big as character flaw, though.
Sarah:That pushes him over the line.
Mark:He is a bigger character flaw than that.
Sarah:What's that?
Mark:There's a spelling mistake on his poster.
Sarah:On his flyer? Yes. Oh, he's right out. He may as well be a murderer.
Mark:Glenn's handyman services, I'm gonna tell you is not centered on the page. Job, too big, or too small. He spells the first too big, t o. Oh. Gardening, building, maintenance, repairs, pool service.
Sarah:He doesn't do any jobs to
Mark:big. Painting.
Sarah:He won't do jobs in Big.
Mark:No. He won't do them to Big. You're right.
Sarah:If there's a place called Big, he won't do jobs
Mark:too big. All the way to Big to do the jobs.
Sarah:But too small, he
Mark:will. Yes.
Sarah:Or something like that. Handyman is a good job to to start with if you are remotely good with your hands and used to hard work and you have no job. Yes. Because you're new in town.
Mark:He's certainly not going to get a job as a graphic designer for this flyer. I think they purposely made it well, okay. The too big is there on purpose. You're meant to think that Glenn is not the sharpest
Sarah:tool. In the shed? Yes. There's a lot of issues with plot or whatever in this episode. But the relationship between Anne and Susie is a picture perfect relationship between two incredibly annoying women.
Mark:They're friends because no one else will be friends with them.
Sarah:When
Mark:It's like the old thing of if you wonder who the jerk
Sarah:is There's a jerk in every group. And if you don't know who it is, it's you. Yeah. They're at lunch well, when Susie is recounting their lunch, in which she threw wine on Anne, She says Anne didn't have her listening ears on.
Mark:No. But
Sarah:Anne says of Susie's son, he's got a whiff of loser about him. A minty whiff. Which His jacket's got a whiff.
Mark:Which I'm telling you, she kisses a man who's not her husband.
Sarah:Yes.
Mark:She holds this party. There are problems with her.
Sarah:Yes.
Mark:But she's right about Caleb.
Sarah:Yes. She is right about Caleb. Though her daughter is 21 and can make her own decisions. Yes. She could share her thoughts with her, but trying to wrestle Oh, out
Mark:tone. Of the Her tone is.
Sarah:No. She's going about it wrong. If you know anything about young adult teenagers, you've got to know the more you tell them not to do something, the more it makes them want
Mark:to It causes Olivia to go into a homicidal fondue fork ninja rage. Yeah. I said that sentence
Sarah:Yes out
Mark:you did.
Sarah:You did.
Mark:Hey, it's friend of the show Trudy.
Sarah:She touched the glass.
Mark:She's not a narc.
Sarah:She's a mixologist. But But she always follows I'm not a narc with, but here's the information.
Mark:Trudy is just Trudy and is awesome, and I still get giddy knowing that she even knows we exist, let alone
Sarah:She goes to the party in costume.
Mark:Yes. She does. Ready to go. Yep. Well, we know we know in season eleven, she's doing the drinks for the the trivia night.
Mark:Well, it's
Sarah:a good side hustle for a bartender.
Mark:Yes. Right? Though, okay. That restaurant requires a dozen people to work. Yeah.
Sarah:Which is why they don't need Trudy. Trudy. That's why they don't need Trudy every night. Well, and her brother is off running pork porky pigeon pizza. Yes.
Sarah:So, you know, they've gotta
Mark:have sponsoring poetry night. We haven't even got to the poetry night.
Sarah:They've gotta have other responsible employees. It's not like Trudy runs everything herself.
Mark:Yes. Caleb was at the party. Caleb, quite rightly, is like, dude, I was not at the party.
Sarah:You see my ankle? I could not be at the party.
Mark:And they're like, we have photographic proof. And he's like, he must have been so confused when they
Sarah:said I would be so mad. Like, are you telling me that my ankle bracelet doesn't track me? Because I could have been going out every night if it doesn't actually work. But because of Maddie and her stupid Polaroid
Mark:Yes.
Sarah:Because, So you know, Caleb is such a catch with his ankle bracelet and his robbery attempts.
Mark:Mama, don't let your babies grow up to wear ankle bracelets.
Sarah:And his stinky jacket that she wants him for herself. Like, wow. What a catch. An arrogant jerk in a stinky jacket and ankle bracelet.
Mark:I'm stuck on the reenactment of the crime being like a ninja movie now. So there has to be like fondue fork cam where it flies through the air.
Sarah:You see it going right at Sasha's head. It could only be worse if like Sasha was having a like a secret pee out in the woods and when she put it hit her in the throat like, you know.
Mark:And it cuts her head clean off.
Sarah:Yeah, that's true. It could be spinning end over end. Then chopper spines her.
Mark:Or Did you guys not notice the headless bobber?
Sarah:Or if it was cheese fondue. Yes. Olivia's still got the cheese on her hand. Right? So when she throws it, it strings way out with the cheese And
Mark:then comes back. Sasha in
Sarah:the throat and then comes back.
Mark:And lands right in her hand.
Sarah:Right in her hand with melty cheese all over it.
Mark:Wow. We have lost the plot on this.
Sarah:Okay. It's so unlikely to ever happen in the way that it happens in the episode. We got to have fun with it. Yes. So this stupid photo of stupid Ann kissing stupid Glenn in that stupid jacket causes cause everything.
Mark:How close was Olivia to homicidal rage if that's Oh,
Sarah:you just tipped her over the edge. All you had to do is just tip tip her over the edge. Like Why would she think her mom would kiss her boyfriend who she hates? That is so stupid.
Mark:At least give her some nutmeg so she has her weight
Sarah:on nutmeg. Yes. She's got no excuse. But man, she stabs her. Yeah.
Mark:Fast. Totally.
Sarah:Right in the heart.
Mark:Right in the heart.
Sarah:Now for that fondue fork, very effective. Goes right between the ribs. No problem.
Mark:But, again, she should be like Carrie.
Sarah:Yes.
Mark:She stabs her heart And it should be like pulls it out.
Sarah:It should be like shooting like a straw.
Mark:So it's like a tiny hole Yeah. Directly to her heart. It should be like
Sarah:There should be a, like, a ribbony spray all over the place. We're just talking fluid dynamics and pressure here. That's how it works. When when they've got when they've got Olivia in the police station Yes. And she confesses
Mark:Yes.
Sarah:It is intercut with scenes of Tanya's mother arriving.
Mark:Yes. Okay?
Sarah:Which is a weird editing job, but it's balancing out, you know
Mark:The loss of one mother and the return of another.
Sarah:Well, but the loss of her too. Right? She's gonna die. But they, when Olivia is like losing it in the police station because she realizes what she's done and she's confessed, and what really gets her is when they reveal to her that when she threw with her incredible Hulk like force, that fondue fork, it stabbed her best friend in the neck. She kind of breaks down.
Sarah:And the music that plays, the lyric is, hey, mom.
Mark:I have in my notes, hey mom might have not been the right song here.
Sarah:Like, what a weird choice.
Mark:It is so weird. Okay. So now, let's go through this Olivia. Okay. So Olivia knows that she killed her mom.
Mark:Yeah. And tries to fake it.
Sarah:Make it look like an accident? Yes. A yard glass accident? I guess. Shove her over the damn rope.
Mark:Right. She goes with that Shower over the deck. Okay. So she knows that's true. Why is she not like, what happened to Sasha?
Sarah:Yeah. And like What what a coincidence that I shot my mom with a fondue fork and my best friend got stabbed with one too.
Mark:Like, she should have moments where she's asking, like, Chalmers, did she die of the nutmeg too? Like, no.
Sarah:What happened to
Mark:my best friend? No. It was Ninja fondue fork. And then she should have a moment of realization that she did that too.
Sarah:Where the camera, like, zooms silently really close to her face, and then we go inside her brain and see her replay of the night and fast forward and rewinding. And and she thinks about how she threw that fork.
Mark:Yep. And when
Sarah:I threw that fork.
Mark:The only thing stranger is the idea that they have when they first arrive on the scene that this is a murder suicide. So let's go through that as a murder suicide.
Sarah:Like Sasha killed
Mark:So Anne and stabbed upset with Anne that she stabs because they don't know Anne's dead because of the fondue fork. Right. She they didn't know that she got forked.
Sarah:They think she got cored by the yard glass.
Mark:Yes. They're imagining that Sasha Sasha stabbed her future mom in law.
Sarah:Yeah. Because she's Frasier's But
Mark:the landlord? The kids living in that house bothers me. And then stumbled off and said, oh, I can't believe what I've done. I'll kill myself with a fondue fork.
Sarah:Do you think there was a circle of fabric on Anne's stomach that was perfectly cut out by the yard glass from her dress?
Mark:There would have to be. And it would have to be in oh.
Sarah:It's like a pepperoni of polyester just sitting in there. You know? Gina And if she hadn't been quite dead yet when it happened, it would have floated up on top like of the a thermometer in the yard glass.
Mark:Gina has a tough time with this one because Gina is also like, I got lab results that were weird. Yeah. And Chalmers is like, I know why they were weird. Nutmeg.
Sarah:And she's like, hey. You're not supposed to know anything. Only I know things. It's just
Mark:I am glad What? That that when Glenn realizes what he's doing with missus Robinson Mhmm. He goes, no. No.
Sarah:No. No. Off of
Mark:me. I gotta go.
Sarah:Yeah. I'm gonna go pass out in somebody's room. The whole Olivia just, like, speed stabbing her mom with that fork. Like, she's not right.
Mark:No. And there's no sign of
Sarah:that Has she never heard of punching people or slapping somebody
Mark:or kicking them? When your first act of violence is to use your ninja fondue fork?
Sarah:A little Glasgow kiss headbutt. Boom. Bang. I mean, if you're gonna cost your mom, you got all kinds of body parts to deal with. There just happens to be a handy fondue fork on the deck.
Mark:Never mind the fact okay. So Hulk Olivia is mad because she saw the picture from her friend and so thinks that her mom was with Caleb.
Sarah:My mom doesn't like Caleb because she just wants him for herself.
Mark:So she
Sarah:goes ankle on bracelet stinky jacket.
Mark:So so Anne, again, Anne, she killed two people who have no idea what she was doing. No. Because Anne was out about by the tub having a smoke.
Sarah:And she's even trying to explain, like, that that is not Caleb.
Mark:That's not Caleb.
Sarah:And if you ask Clint Glenn, he'll tell you.
Mark:And next thing you know,
Sarah:she's Yes. Just stabby stabby.
Mark:Stabby stabby.
Sarah:I mean, what Olivia should have done is gone straight to her dad. Him. With the photo.
Mark:I'm tactile.
Sarah:But he should have gone straight, know, dad, look. Yeah. Look what mom did. Yeah. Then they could've
Mark:Come with me with a fondue fork.
Sarah:Bring the forks, father. Father, to the fondue forks. We ride.
Mark:Sasha, what are we doing? I can't feel my legs.
Sarah:I taste like apple pie. I don't feel so good. I can't move.
Mark:Caleb, I wasn't even there. My
Sarah:stinky jacket was, but then it magically reappeared at my house. What do
Mark:you want me Anyone to can come in and out of that house.
Sarah:Yep.
Mark:Except for Caleb.
Sarah:Except for Caleb. Or Kenny. Well,
Mark:that leads us to the poetry night. So the poetry night
Sarah:is disappointed in the quality of Gina's poetry. I thought it would be much, much worse. It's It's boring. It's boring. It's not bad.
Mark:Ray is like, oh, no. It's just one person.
Sarah:Doggerel bad. Yes. The fact that she
Mark:brings her
Sarah:hat to put on
Mark:She's playing with them when she does the Limerick one.
Sarah:Yes. So But she what what she really wants to say is, I love you, Mike. Yes. I love you. I love you.
Sarah:I love you. But instead, she talks about the Russian steps and lakes and
Mark:And Mike arrives and runs into missus m.
Sarah:Mhmm.
Mark:This is missus m's final episode. Now missus m is not dead. No. Not in the show and not in real life.
Sarah:No. But this is her last episode. Yes. And she cannot take Gina's poetry. No.
Sarah:So she heads out because life is too short to sit through Gina's poetry.
Mark:I gotta agree with that.
Sarah:But as she leaves, she says, I'm stepping out. I may be some time.
Mark:Now is that like, that's Shakespeare, isn't it? No. What is it from?
Sarah:Little alarm bells go off in my head. I know that quote. I know that quote. You'll never guess where it's from.
Mark:Okay. It's not Shakespeare. No. Is it is it poetry?
Sarah:No. Oh. It's from Captain Lawrence Oakes. Oates. Sorry.
Sarah:Was a part of Oates?
Mark:Oats. Okay, it's
Sarah:not Like oatmeal, oats.
Mark:Okay, okay. Who
Sarah:was a member of Scott's South Pole expedition, the poorly faded Southern expedition of nineteen eleven when all of the men are huddling in a tent waiting to starve or freeze to death. He sacrifices himself so the other men might have a chance to live. They've already eaten all their dogs, everything. Mean, Have they they're just
Mark:really ate him?
Sarah:They're really screwed. He decides to sacrifice himself. He gets up and says, I'm going out. I may be a while. And walks Suddenly.
Sarah:And walks out into the cold and dies.
Mark:Out of nowhere, a fondue forks.
Sarah:If you had fondue all this time, why didn't you give it to us? We would have been eating the fondue.
Mark:Dude, they have fondue over there. They have fondue in the other tank?
Sarah:That would have been a different expedition for Scott.
Mark:Yeah. It's really good. We ran out of bread, so we're just kind of Dipping our fingers in it.
Sarah:Cheese. We decided we don't care about manners anymore. I mean, we're at the South Pole. I mean, what does it matter? But it's weird for missus Marlow to say that because when he says that, and she's obviously quoting him, he is going out to die.
Sarah:Now okay. And she is not.
Mark:So Tim Baum and the other writers have said that missus M is not dead. She's just off camera. She's just in another frame.
Sarah:She just hang gliding?
Mark:I wouldn't put it past us to see another Mrs. M. Like another episode of Mrs. M.
Sarah:Where she just happens to come back for a minute.
Mark:Minute, or if that actress passes away, they'll certainly do something.
Sarah:Because saying that she's just off frame is kind of like saying we sent the dog to a farm. Yes. She's not dead. She's just fondued.
Mark:Dude. And that
Sarah:Here's to you missus Robinson.
Mark:Here's to you missus Robinson. I hope Mike brought the milk.
Sarah:Next, we have season eight.
Mark:Episode one from cradle to grave, which is the most bonkers episode in the entire show I have
Sarah:Oh, you've said that about a million episodes.
Mark:Let it let me remind you about this episode. So what do we know about this episode already? We know it's an Odds family episode.
Sarah:Mhmm.
Mark:Because all of the we meet we meet Frodo's dad in this episode. Johnny makes a reappearance, of course.
Sarah:If the Odes are in it, it's gonna be a little nutty.
Mark:It's it's all the Odes. The the synopsis on IMDb, because I completely forgotten this part of the episode, is chaos ensues when a museum's Egyptian mummy case turns out to contain the body of a very recently deceased woman. Mhmm. I totally forgot about the whole Egyptian part of this episode.
Sarah:That sounds like a Murdoch.
Mark:Yes. It it is it sounds like a Murdoch or a father Brown. Mhmm. So it is a bonkers So
Sarah:you have that plus Odes Yes. Craziness ensues.
Mark:If you haven't watched k pop, Demon Hunters, please. It's k pop. Yeah. K pop. Thought you said k pop.
Mark:No. K pop demon Do you
Sarah:know what k pop is? No. It's that shredded wood fibrous stuff that you can put in a box to pad something.
Mark:Oh, that's k pop. Oh, okay. I didn't
Sarah:That would be a very different show
Mark:It would be.
Sarah:If if that stuff was fighting demons.
Mark:Please watch k pop.
Sarah:I'm not even on painkillers. I know. I really wish I was.
Mark:The kids suggested today that we should drink while we're doing this ad doing
Sarah:this As a fundraiser.
Mark:I don't know. We've we've entered lands of craziness without being drunk in this episode. Absolutely.
Sarah:Alright. Until then. Bye, maniacs.
Mark:Bye, maniacs. Thanks for joining us on the mystery maniacs podcast. If you enjoyed our crazy podcast today, don't miss out on future episodes. Follow us on social media for updates, beyond the scenes content, and exclusive sneak peeks. Subscribe, like, and share to spread the word.
Mark:Bye, maniacs. Last week, the outtake was some weird noise that you made and I just captured it and played it like a couple of times. Like a couple of times. Like like like like a couple of times.
