Captain Hippo and The Gigantic Forehead | Brokenwood | "Spark to a Flame" | Mystery Maniacs Podcast EP245
Killed a bunch of people in the house, still at large, and wrote on the doorway, I'll be back.
Sarah:Yeah. I know. Not not not gonna live there. No.
Mark:Hey, maniacs.
Sarah:Hey, maniacs.
Mark:Mystery maniacs is a comedy recap podcast dedicated to mystery TV. Each week, we dig into an episode of the show including the murders, the neighbors, the loonies, and everything else we love. This week, the Brokenwood Mysteries Spark to Flame. I don't really understand the cover the title a little bit, but
Sarah:Season eight episode three. Well, there's a bonfire.
Mark:I guess. I'm Mark. I'm Sarah.
Sarah:This is a spoiler podcast. We're gonna ruin it. If you haven't seen it, we're gonna tell you who did it, so stop right now.
Mark:If you let your kids play loud music in houses where people have died, then they can listen to the podcast.
Sarah:Is that is that the criteria?
Mark:I guess. Okay. Sarah, we forgot to mention the cups from two weeks ago. Well, not two weeks ago, like three months ago. The giraffe?
Mark:Gosh. The summer is over.
Sarah:The giraffe cup?
Mark:The giraffe cup. The longest drink in town.
Sarah:We didn't know what it was, so we asked. Yes. And people answered.
Mark:People answered. It is a brand of milkshake cup that are used as generic milkshake cups in New Zealand, apparently everywhere.
Sarah:Now we know. Yep. When you see a giraffe,
Mark:you win
Sarah:a milkshake.
Mark:We also said Dennis Buchanan did nothing else. We were completely wrong.
Sarah:You mean the actor, Sean Cortese?
Mark:Yes. He's done lots of things.
Sarah:He's done other stuff.
Mark:But he's still that guy.
Sarah:I wonder if he plays the same character in all the roles he plays, and he's just really good at just being himself.
Mark:Maybe. For people who change so dramatically in roles, it's amazing.
Sarah:Mhmm. Before we dive in, two things
Mark:Okay.
Sarah:In addition to those two correction. One, thank you so much for all of the great anniversary notes that we got for our six year podcast anniversary. They were so kind and encouraging, and it's just nice to know. There's some folks out there who have listened since the beginning and some who've started recently but went all the way back to the start.
Mark:Yep. I
Sarah:count you in the same bucket.
Mark:Absolutely. If
Sarah:you've listened to the thousand or so hours of our voices, you're a special kind of person.
Mark:Some people asked about plans for the future. The plans for the future are to keep doing Brokenwood until there's new Midsommar episodes, which we should be hearing about soon ish.
Sarah:Well, do you want to make a cake? World's most awkward social media campaign.
Mark:Okay. So the midsummer official campaign, a midsummer official Instagram and Facebook have done a campaign for you to decorate a cake and you can win some merch.
Sarah:For their twenty fifth anniversary.
Mark:For their twenty fifth anniversary. We are not partaking in this.
Sarah:No. Okay? But there's a hashtag so we can track it and see how many people have made cakes.
Mark:There are very few people who are partaking with it. Very few. And none of them are following the directions in so much that they had to make a special explicit directions post. It
Sarah:was like basically, okay, grandma. Here's how you do it. Okay?
Mark:Please bake a cake and make it for us.
Sarah:Here's what a cake looks like.
Mark:Get it? You want some easy merch? Make some Midsummer cake.
Sarah:They claim that you can even draw one. You don't even have to make one, an actual cake. But they're the ones I've seen are pretty good. They are pretty good. The people who are doing it
Mark:And if anybody wants to put, you know, like, us on a cake for Midsommar
Sarah:You put the Midsommar logo on the top and put the mystery maniacs logos around the outside.
Mark:There you go. I don't know.
Sarah:Maybe we'll send you a t shirt if you do that And submit it.
Mark:So they're ramping up.
Sarah:Can I make a cake that that is really cool, that really honors midsummer, but the top of it just says your podcast sucks?
Mark:Or I'd rather be watching the mystery maniacs.
Sarah:It would have to be sucked. Yes. Because it's past tense.
Mark:Right? Yeah. I don't think we're gonna see that podcast again. The podcast that I went on
Sarah:Dominated the quiz.
Mark:Four times to do trivia.
Sarah:That's a nasty thing that we're saying. Okay.
Mark:The people who did it worked really hard.
Sarah:Oh, yeah. It's nothing against them. No. It was against the concept behind it. Anyhoo, one more thing, the subreddit has been popping recently with some awesome announcements about graduations, and new grandkids.
Sarah:Grandbabies. And we love that. Yep. So if you ever hesitate to post something like that because you think, oh, well, it's not about a mystery TV show. Maybe I shouldn't post it.
Sarah:Post it. Yes. We're a community.
Mark:Absolutely.
Sarah:I think everybody appreciates hearing that stuff.
Mark:We're roughly about two weeks away from the Thursday Murder Club on Netflix being released. If you haven't read the book, go read that book. We will enjoy it. If you like us and you like this podcast, you will enjoy that book.
Sarah:Yeah.
Mark:And you will enjoy the movie. It has everyone in it.
Sarah:We hope so. David Tennant
Mark:plays this smarmiest
Sarah:Pierce Brosnan. Yes. Alan Merrin.
Mark:Pierce Brosnan should get an extra credit for his hair.
Sarah:Yeah.
Mark:Man, he has some fantastic freaking hair.
Sarah:He's always been handsome, but I swear he gets better as he gets older. I mean, there's gotta be a tipping point.
Mark:Yeah. There has to be.
Sarah:He looks like 110 and somebody's gonna mess up the painting that he's hiding in
Mark:the Like, I think Ben Kingsley, who was also in this
Sarah:Looks exactly the same
Mark:as A he did forty years fantastic actor. I don't think he was ever on the good looking side of the line. But he stayed exactly the same for forty years.
Sarah:Well, helps when you're completely cue ball bald
Mark:Yes.
Sarah:When you're like 35.
Mark:I suppose. So
Sarah:You just stay that way.
Mark:Do you think Pierce Brosnan's hair wrestles with him?
Sarah:Like they rough each other up. I don't know. He's a good looking man. Good actor.
Mark:It's gonna be fun.
Sarah:You ready to talk
Mark:about I don't know how they're gonna do the entire plot of the show, of the book in two hours. And they have a the latest trailer, I'm like, they kept that?
Sarah:Yeah.
Mark:And they kept that?
Sarah:They're gonna have to They kept that? Really compact.
Mark:It's gonna have to hustle.
Sarah:It's gonna hop along. You ready to talk about Spark to a Flame?
Mark:Yes. So originally air date the 07/11/2022. I noticed that when I was looking in IMDb for some of these actors that like this is their latest credit and I'm like because that really wasn't long ago in times of television. Directed by Jacqueline Nairn, n a I r n, and written by Roy Ward. Now, Miranda, the lawyer is in this episode.
Mark:Mhmm. Now, she's in four more episodes, though we'll explain why we don't think she should be. Mhmm. And she writes two of the episodes, including the trivia episode in the latest season.
Sarah:Laura Hill is the actress' name.
Mark:Yeah. Think she's a pretty good writer if she wrote that episode.
Sarah:Oh, I think so.
Mark:Yeah. Yeah. So
Sarah:And she's a good actor too.
Mark:She's I great think so. Yes. Stupid hedge trimmer.
Sarah:Why is that dog named Tiger? I don't
Mark:I do not know. But it is the that is the first African animal related question today. There will be another one.
Sarah:Oh. Look at you hinting at stuff. Tigers are are from India.
Mark:Well, they're in Africa. Okay. Are gonna get mail? Maybe
Sarah:you should Google it.
Mark:Well, excuse me.
Sarah:African tiger.
Mark:There's no such thing as an African tiger.
Sarah:I'm serious. Google it right now.
Mark:I'm not
Sarah:gonna You can cut
Mark:all this. Okay.
Sarah:We're funnier when we know the facts.
Mark:I'm not cutting any of this. There are no wild tigers in Africa. Tigers?
Sarah:Oh my god. So do you want to tease again?
Mark:Put me back on this.
Sarah:Large wild animal?
Mark:Large wild animal question.
Sarah:There you go.
Mark:Keeping all of that, I may cut some of the silence.
Sarah:I'm patting myself on the back for knowing that there are no tigers in Africa.
Mark:I'm a little worried that my Canadian accent came out when I said tigers.
Sarah:There are penguins in Africa.
Mark:Instead of
Sarah:tigers. Okay. I just think, you know, if you have a puppy and it's orange. Yes. Orange and black.
Sarah:Ginger. Tiger. White? Not so much.
Mark:Not so much.
Sarah:Snowball. No. Abominable.
Mark:Well, first thing I'm gonna do is get up and go to my old timey punk t shirt collection and put it on.
Sarah:Well, that's what Wyatt is. Yes. He's vinyl. He's an old rocker who likes power tools. Like Yep.
Sarah:That's just Yeah.
Mark:He's an old punk rocker. No Husker Du t shirt, I was hoping, but no Husker Du t shirt. See Dead Kennedys, see Black Flag, you know, the hits.
Sarah:So Petechy Point Yes. Beautiful community
Mark:Red Herring Point.
Sarah:Of mostly summer homes that New Zealander call New Zealanders call batches.
Mark:So this is common when you live near water and you live in the city. You have a batch to go to on the weekends.
Sarah:You have your your weekend house, the cottage. Yes. You know why they're called batches?
Mark:I don't know why they're called batches.
Sarah:It's a shortened version of bachelor pad or bachelor house because they're small houses.
Mark:Oh, okay.
Sarah:And they're kinda minimal.
Mark:Okay.
Sarah:Because they're just holiday homes, you know? But it's New Zealand. It's not like, oh, well, that's where we go for the summer. No. It's nice there all the time.
Mark:It is.
Sarah:And you know it's a holiday place because they have a real estate sign in the backyard facing the water. Yes. Cause they know there's as many boats that go by as
Mark:It's cars that go wintertime cause it's November.
Sarah:Mhmm. Cause it's Guy Fawkes.
Mark:And Aiden's hiding his giant head with his Toque. Toque.
Sarah:That kid's got a forehead for years.
Mark:I know.
Sarah:Sorry. But you do. It's as wide as it is tall. It's really kind of a billboard.
Mark:So let's go over a couple of things really quick.
Sarah:The folks who live at Petiqui Point. Yes. So we've got Joe and Emma. Yes. Schofield Yes.
Sarah:Then there is Miranda Temple's empty house that she's selling that used to belong to her dad
Mark:Yes. Work.
Sarah:Then there's Lindley
Mark:Yes.
Sarah:Who is the victim
Mark:Yes.
Sarah:And then there is the farriers, Kirk.
Mark:No, the Wyatt comes first
Sarah:Oh, that's then the farriers. Right. Then Wyatt, the old rocker, and then the farriers
Mark:Yes.
Sarah:Kirk and Stephanie who hate each other.
Mark:Yes. And this is a great little episode of here's a collection of people that all slightly pretend to like each other but dislike each other, that are all have motive to do this crime but we need to figure out who's lying and who's not.
Sarah:And the only people who don't live there but are involved is Deb's Docherty and her son Yes. Forehead.
Mark:Forehead. Five head. Really, it's a six head.
Sarah:Deb's? Debs. You gotta market yourself, I guess, if you're in real estate. Can we talk about Lindley's aesthetic?
Mark:Okay.
Sarah:She's How old do you think she is?
Mark:She's an old timey hippie.
Sarah:No. I don't think so.
Mark:Oh, you don't think so?
Sarah:No. I don't. I don't think she's she's not free spirited at all.
Mark:I think she's in her forties.
Sarah:That's what I would say.
Mark:But I think I think she's She
Sarah:dresses like she's 98.
Mark:Yeah. She's she's a young fogey for sure.
Sarah:The glasses on
Mark:And not like our children are young fogeys, which one of them
Sarah:Is definitely.
Mark:Is definitely.
Sarah:The the weird layers Yep. The granny squares.
Mark:Granny squares.
Sarah:Yep. So here's what I want to know. So they have the bonfire for Guy Fawkes, right?
Mark:Yes.
Sarah:And Linley shows up and quickly leaves because the guy, the thing that they're going to burn, the effigy that they're going to burn, Wyatt has made it, and
Mark:it looks like Lindley. Everyone would know walking up to that. Yeah. It's like he presents it, and it's like, where were you sitting two seconds?
Sarah:It was right there the whole time. Yes. Here's my question. Which came first? The guy or Lynley's wardrobe?
Sarah:Do you see what I mean? Yeah. Like, did they dress her to look like the guy, or did they make the guy to look like her?
Mark:They made the guy to look like her.
Sarah:Okay. That is super vindictive crafting on Wyatt's part then.
Mark:Wyatt is super vindictive.
Sarah:Because it is recognizably her. Okay. And I don't put him down as somebody who's a crafter.
Mark:Yep. And so the other thing I noticed is that Wyatt and Aiden are really the same person at different times in their life. Because Wyatt is that guy that you say, dude, don't. Don't take it that far. And he always does.
Mark:Yeah. And Aiden is that guy who's in the empty house playing the the basement. Just despite her. Just despite her. Yeah.
Mark:They're the same person.
Sarah:I can see that. Except I think Wyatt probably had some good times at some point.
Mark:I think so. Especially when he was a goblin in all the Lord of the Rings movies. He was a named goblin in all the Lord of the
Sarah:Rings movies. Wow.
Mark:He he spent a he spent a good ten years
Sarah:getting made up. Steven Ur is his name. Yeah. He must have a good back and knees because the goblins bend.
Mark:Yeah. They're crouch. Crouchy. And and I bet he had they didn't have to change his voice all that much either.
Sarah:But you were gonna say his face?
Mark:No. He's got the long nose and the chin and every dog.
Sarah:He didn't even need any prosthetics. It's too bad there wasn't big forehead characters. Lendley's house is like an old lady's house. Yes. It's comfy.
Sarah:She's got a brick fireplace that she has painted bright blue. Yeah. That's a sin.
Mark:Don't do that. I'm sorry. No. That's wrong. You shouldn't paint brick ever.
Sarah:I don't think so. You can disagree. People can disagree. You certainly don't paint it blue. You're never gonna get that off.
Sarah:You can never change your mind.
Mark:Why does Lelandly have gloves on too? Like, she has those little half gloves that you hate?
Sarah:Because she's an old lady
Mark:and she's cold. Okay.
Sarah:Okay. She has to wear five shirts.
Mark:Okay.
Sarah:Including ones that she's cut a hole in so she can stick her thumb through.
Mark:This whole thing is an actual excellent writing exercise in, well, that happened at the bonfire. The bonfire? Why has nobody mentioned the bonfire to us before? And then that comes out.
Sarah:Mhmm.
Mark:I don't think that interrogations actually happen like this, but they do in detective shows.
Sarah:It's a way of reeling out the story.
Mark:Yes.
Sarah:But it makes the detectives have to go back to a suspect or witness to follow-up. And then there's also the, well, I should have told you this when I talked to you before, but I'm here now to tell you Yes. Thing.
Mark:You know when they show up at the station, it's going to come out now.
Sarah:Yeah, now they're really willing to talk.
Mark:Gina wants to buy the house and it leads me to a question I have for you. Mhmm. Well, series of questions really that do not involve large mammalian animals. Gina is willing to buy the house even though there's been a murder in this house.
Sarah:Right. Because she's she's fine with
Mark:that. If we're in the market to buy a new house
Sarah:Mhmm.
Mark:And this murder had been in it, how long after this murder would you buy the house?
Sarah:Okay. Can we stipulate that it's been cleaned up professionally?
Mark:Professionally, Greg Davies has come in
Sarah:From the cleaner?
Mark:If you have not watched the cleaner, go watch The Cleaner.
Sarah:So funny.
Mark:Brilliant show. The c the the last season, season three, is the best season. Yeah. It gets better and better. Yeah.
Mark:Greg Davies, I think he writes and directs it. Yeah. He does a really good job.
Sarah:And stars in it.
Mark:Yep. And Steve Pemberton is fantastically awesome. He's gone awry. Yes. Okay.
Mark:So it's all clean.
Sarah:Mhmm.
Mark:As if you couldn't tell it happened, but you know about it.
Sarah:Okay. Okay. How how long ago Yes. Would it have had to happen for me to be willing to live there? Yes.
Sarah:Last week?
Mark:Yeah. Now we're under the stipulation that we live in a crazy country for many reasons, but one of the craziest reasons we live in a country is that in California, if someone has died in your house, you have to tell people in the real estate listing that someone has died in
Sarah:the house. You also have to tell them that it might be haunted if you think it's haunted. Yes. But sometimes that's an upsell.
Mark:It is for me because I'd be like, $500,000 cheaper please. It's haunted. I'm taking it over.
Sarah:One one person died there a week ago. It's all cleaned up. Yeah. No problem.
Mark:Okay. Okay.
Sarah:No no problem.
Mark:Okay. What about multiple murder? No problem?
Sarah:How did it happen?
Mark:Like dad goes crazy, kills himself and his whole half family.
Sarah:All at once? Yep. It's all cleaned up?
Mark:Yeah. All cleaned up.
Sarah:See, I'm less likely to buy that house only because I think there will be looky loos.
Mark:Yeah. That's the big problem is looky loos.
Sarah:Who wanna come and see, and they'll be gross people. Yep. Because only gross people would do that.
Mark:Yes. What about guy kills a bunch of people, drifters, prostitutes, puts them in puts them in the backyard. They dig up two dozen bodies.
Sarah:Do they landscape after? Yes. Is it nice? Yes. That's okay.
Mark:That's okay?
Sarah:Yeah. I don't mind that. Okay. Well, I don't mind it except for the looky loos.
Mark:Okay. House full of teenage girls, maniac with a big drill, kills them all at large.
Sarah:Oh, he's still at large?
Mark:At large.
Sarah:Oh, he might come home. Yeah. You gotta give that house to me for free. And no looky loose.
Mark:And no looky loos.
Sarah:Okay. Now what if so you're like me. You're you're not gonna let the fact that something bad happened there bother you.
Mark:It's the looky loos that would
Sarah:bother me. The looky loos bother me. But how about this one? How about Norman Bates situation?
Mark:Okay.
Sarah:Murder happened a long time ago, but the body has been kept in the house.
Mark:Woah. Woah.
Sarah:You okay with that? Yeah. As long as it's gone now.
Mark:It's gone now. And you
Sarah:can't smell it anymore. Yeah.
Mark:I don't care.
Sarah:In this scenario, I have no problem buying that house. It's not even her house. You know what I mean? Yeah. I think I would be more upset buying a house where I knew a lot of emotional trauma happened, like an abusive family has lived there for a long time.
Sarah:That would bother me more, I think.
Mark:The plot of Friday the thirteenth, the first one, Woman kills a bunch of old people, a bunch of young kids in the house because her teenage son was drowned by him, and he reappears
Sarah:Lucky lose.
Mark:At the end of the movie.
Sarah:Plus he's undead. He can come back anytime. Okay. No. I'm not living there.
Sarah:So no no one there. Can't even give it to me. Okay. No. He's he's gonna come back.
Mark:Okay. Okay.
Sarah:He's gonna want his house.
Mark:Because the last one is
Sarah:His his mom might come back for
Mark:all a bunch of people in the house, still at large, and wrote on the doorway, I'll be back.
Sarah:Yeah. I know. Not not not gonna live there. No. Not gonna live there.
Mark:But, like, people people die in houses all
Sarah:the time. Dies of natural causes there. I have no problem with that. Yeah. For all we know, somebody died in our house.
Sarah:We don't know.
Mark:We have no idea.
Sarah:Don't no idea. Yep. Could have been this this room could have been repainted because it was spattered with blood. We don't know.
Mark:No idea.
Sarah:No. Doesn't bother us. Especially if you don't know, it really doesn't bother you.
Mark:Yeah. I don't.
Sarah:Whatever. The problem is is after you buy the house
Mark:Lucky, lose is the problem, and the I'll be back is the problem.
Sarah:Yeah. Well, after you buy the house and you're happy in it and you do some renovation and then you find surprises, that's a problem.
Mark:We should put more surprises when we do renovations. We are we are well equipped to do some surprises for people.
Sarah:We've done that already up in the attic because we've got this weird attic that wraps around the Second Floor. And so when the workmen go up there and they turn a corner, they don't know what they're going to see. This is where we store our skeletons. Our
Mark:basement is full of heads.
Sarah:It is full of heads. Yeah, I've got no problem with that. I understand why Gina has no problem with it. She's a little pushy about it, but she has a point when she says, you can ask questions that I can't. Yes.
Sarah:But apparently her Google is broken because I'm sure the price is up online.
Mark:They have really pulled back on Gina.
Sarah:Yeah. She's not nearly as like sex pest.
Mark:Mom, mom, I got it parked. I had to go tell the boss that there's somebody outside. Like that's all that character does.
Sarah:Well, know, everybody's got to do something.
Mark:Yep.
Sarah:What do you make of Lindley's signs? Is she the worst neighbor ever or is Wyatt the worst neighbor ever?
Mark:It seems okay. They are the most fantastic neighbors to watch if you're not involved. Yeah. Because they're both passive aggressive and they get more passive aggressive.
Sarah:And only aimed at each other.
Mark:Yes.
Sarah:You know, he turns the bushes. She puts out a sign that says real men don't use leaf blowers. He uses the leaf blowers. She puts out a sign that says leaf blowers are the devil breaking wind, which is that's a long sign.
Mark:It's a long sign. And you know what? Like, okay. I use a leaf blower. I don't use a gas powered leaf blower.
Mark:And I think Wyatt, as an old punk, would probably use battery operated leaf blower. And they're not as loud as you would think.
Sarah:She is so sensitive.
Mark:Yeah.
Sarah:She's so sensitive that you it's almost like there should be a reason why she's so sensitive.
Mark:Like when Chalmers reads her diary he should come up with a reason.
Sarah:Like she moved there for the peace and quiet because
Mark:Because.
Sarah:Of something and that's why she's so intolerant. Because she is really intolerant and really nosy.
Mark:What I wanna know as I've known as I ask these questions, these probing practical questions, What do these people do for a living? What does Joe do for a living? What does Lindley do for a living? What does Wyatt do for a living? What is Aiden's head side job?
Mark:What do these people do for a living? And Miranda runs her own law firm Yes. By herself.
Sarah:I think we're supposed to think that that was a day that they were closed, and that's why there was no one else in the office.
Mark:Okay. Because she needs a person.
Sarah:Yeah. There's a desk there for a person.
Mark:Okay,
Sarah:yes. Yeah, lawyers need a receptionist Yeah. If they have an office like that. Deb's is a real estate agent.
Mark:Yes.
Sarah:Emmy is a cleaner and a student. Yes. Aiden is a student. Miranda's a lawyer. The Farriers own their own small publishing company.
Sarah:How? They publish poetry and other things that no one buys.
Mark:I I saw that, and I went, those people could not afford a summer.
Sarah:No. No. Not if that's what you're publishing. No. I think Joe's retired.
Mark:I could see that.
Sarah:That's what I'm going with. I think Wyatt's retired. And I think Lindley's got a backstory that we don't know about.
Mark:I think so.
Sarah:I think she's got a settlement. That's what I'm Maybe. Going Some noise thing Some happened to very disruptive traumatic thing, and she needed to get away, and she has a settlement.
Mark:This episode had needed Frodo's coffee.
Sarah:What? Is he just gonna pull up on the beach?
Mark:The Broken Wood Quiet Community Society. What's in that article is exactly what Chalmers says. He reads it word for word.
Sarah:Well, makes it easy. The house that where Lynley dies actually belongs to Miranda,
Mark:Oh, the sorry. We assume that it belongs to Miranda. Well It actually doesn't.
Sarah:It was her dad's. Yes. And she's selling it, which is why Deb's is involved. And Linley dies in that house, not in her own house. Yes.
Sarah:Which is next door. Yes. Which is weird, because they assume people die in their own houses.
Mark:Yeah, why was Lin Lee in the house at all?
Sarah:Right, so that's a big question. And then of course who killed her is a big question. Yes. Miranda and Joe didn't date when they were younger?
Mark:There was a fling.
Sarah:Like they were sweethearts. Cause they've known each other since they were like six.
Mark:Right? I think they probably I think based on what we know that Miranda is the gay. That Miranda as a young woman was trying to figure out who she was, understood societal pressures, understood that Joe's a nice guy, and probably felt close to him, and then went, this is not how I feel about you, Joe.
Sarah:Well, grew up together, though. Yeah. Because he was around when she got the treasure map. Right? Yes.
Sarah:When her ethics professor emeritus dad, who was clearly a jerk
Mark:Yeah. These people don't know how professors emeritus or ethics work.
Sarah:Created a treasure map that he put in a bottle and placed on the beach for her to find To teach a lesson. To teach her a lesson.
Mark:No wonder mom left. Lying. There needs to be a no wonder mom left line.
Sarah:It explains a lot about who she is
Mark:Yes.
Sarah:In the end. Yes. That she thinks some lying is okay and other lying is not okay. Yes. I think she's wrong about which which is which.
Mark:I agree.
Sarah:Because obviously some lying is alright.
Mark:You tell
Sarah:a white lie. You say, I love your new haircut.
Mark:Yes. Right? That baby is beautiful.
Sarah:Right. Cause you can't undo that.
Mark:No. We can't see your forehead.
Sarah:You can't send the baby back and get a better one. No. You know? So you tell him it's nice. But
Mark:Maybe a hat.
Sarah:On the baby?
Mark:Or Aiden's head?
Sarah:Imagine him as a baby.
Mark:Oh my gosh.
Sarah:When bay babies are three quarters forehead anyway, he would have been five sixth
Mark:forehead.
Sarah:We're so mean. You guys, here's a little look behind the curtain. We watch these episodes, and we try to find things that we think we're gonna be able to joke about. And sometimes there's just not enough to joke about, and so you end up making fun of something that you wouldn't normally make fun of, like some kid poor kid's gigantic forehead that he probably hates himself and combs his hair down and bangs all the time.
Mark:This is a fine episode. It's a good mystery. It is. Until the very end, I wasn't sure who'd done it. Right.
Mark:It's a it's well written. Yeah. There's not a lot of funny.
Sarah:No. There's no Lenly's outfits.
Mark:There's none of Frodo's Hey,
Sarah:forehead. There's no odes.
Mark:There's no
Sarah:odes. Why did Lenly think that anybody would wanna publish her journal? Well,
Mark:there are a lot of people who like journaling. And there are a lot of people who like to read other people's journals.
Sarah:Nosy people?
Mark:No. Like mean,
Sarah:Chalmers doesn't say she's actually really quite the poet. No. Or she wrote some really insightful essays in there. No. It's day to day activities and her drawings, which are kind of nice, but like not publish the journal nice.
Mark:So it's weird because I have on more than one occasion watched sketchbook videos on YouTube where people go through their sketchbooks either while they talk about them or while they don't talk about them. They just turn the pages.
Sarah:Okay.
Mark:And I like to see that process.
Sarah:Would you buy it? Would you buy a copy of it?
Mark:In I the bought sketchbook copies of artists I like, but only to help me
Sarah:They're like famous artists though. Yeah. Like well known artists. Yeah. Like comic comic artists and stuff.
Sarah:Not some old granny who lives on the beach.
Mark:And it needs to have a point.
Sarah:Yeah, like a theme. Yeah. Or like, oh, it's a diary of somebody who lived through the Blitz during World War II.
Mark:But they published poetry, so who knows what they published. Okay.
Sarah:I just think it's kind of, I don't know, egotistical to go, oh, hey. I'm I'm way interesting. So here's a copy of my journal.
Mark:Sure I you're gonna wanna don't it was like that. I bet you it was the husband
Sarah:You bet you saying Kyle said, you're insightful, Lindley. Do you keep a journal we can publish?
Mark:No. He probably saw her working on it.
Sarah:That's true. She was sketching
Mark:Yeah.
Sarah:When they're sitting together on the beach. That's some mighty fine driftwood you're drawing. We should publish that.
Mark:Joe's in the background picking it up.
Sarah:Leave that there, Joe. I'm drawing that. Sorry. Sorry. Turns out it's all about Warwick's will.
Mark:Yes.
Sarah:The dead guy's will, which is now in the bottle. Which It's really a treasure map now.
Mark:As a professor of emeritus, he would know that a lawyer should really see this. Like, there's no reason for him to suddenly take Miranda out of the will.
Sarah:Even if he does. Okay. Let's say he decides Miranda's doing just fine. Joe has been a good friend to me. It'll do him a lot more good than it will her and she won't care.
Sarah:Let's go with that, okay? So his original will, all legal bound with a cover letter that says the will of Warwick Temple, that's filed with a lawyer. Then later, he writes another will, has two people witness it, and instead of ensuring that it's filed with his lawyer, he thinks, I'll be clever. I'll put this in a bottle in my house. Yeah.
Sarah:Trusting that Miranda will find it.
Mark:Really the episode should be entitled, Why Didn't They Ask Lindley?
Sarah:Why Didn't They Ask Tiger?
Mark:Yes.
Sarah:Tiger from the very beginning is like, hey, hey guys, I know what happened. Hey. He's like barking out the window. Hello. Nobody.
Sarah:No. And in the end he's just a dog toy in the police station.
Mark:The look on Now he's
Sarah:gonna with Kyle. Kyle adopts him.
Mark:Yes. The look of Chalmers and Sims when Mike is like
Sarah:I'm just gonna take
Mark:him to dog gulag.
Sarah:Yeah, the glue factory. If nobody goes to get him in the next two hours he's a goner. Oh well. I think it's funny that they fight over walking him and stuff. No I'll do it.
Sarah:No I'll do it. Yeah. I'll do it.
Mark:They they have to have something for them to do.
Sarah:Some some kind of competitive thing for the two of them.
Mark:Okay. Let's get to this right now. What is the theme of the rebranding of the house? Nautical. Nautical.
Mark:That is why the the the paper in the bottle works?
Sarah:Mhmm. And the oars.
Mark:They find it. The oars has it has everywhere in that room except for one place. Did you see what was beside the television?
Sarah:No. A wee hippopotamus. Are there's a wee hippopotamus?
Mark:There is a wee hippopotamus. It's made out of brass. Probably the most expensive thing in the house and I gotta tell you, a better murder weapon.
Sarah:Yeah. Really? Seriously, if it's solid. Hippos aren't I mean, they're aquatic.
Mark:Yes. But they're not Nautical.
Sarah:They're not at sea very often.
Mark:And she took everything out of the house. Yeah. That's what the thing is.
Sarah:Yeah. And she staged it.
Mark:And she staged it.
Sarah:Down down to
Mark:So the last she chose the hippo.
Sarah:Debs, come on. Do you think hippos live in the ocean? Yeah. They ride on the back of whales. Duh.
Sarah:Duh. Hippos were notorious pets on ships
Mark:for And good it's like, it's got his head in the air. It's like, happy little hippo.
Sarah:Like, hi. I don't belong here. Yeah.
Mark:I was like, message in a bottle, sale, or hippo. One of these things does not look like they
Sarah:are. Somewhere, there's a set dresser who's like, finally, somebody noticed my hippo. Now you have to go back and watch every episode of Broken Wood again to see if the hippo is hidden there somewhere.
Mark:No, I've looked.
Sarah:There's always a hippo at the crime scene. It's the hippo from Brokenwood.
Mark:It's more likely it was the set dresser going, oh my gosh, they actually noticed that I forgot to move the hippo.
Sarah:Or I didn't know hippos weren't in the ocean until later.
Mark:There's a sign in the cop shop, a new one. I haven't seen before. I thought
Sarah:that they were in rivers that were a blend of fresh and salt water, and it would work. Their title.
Mark:No one is gonna notice. Honey, no one is gonna notice the hippo.
Sarah:Except those freaks in Indiana.
Mark:I'm sure they won't say anything. Name of the episode, the hippo. Captain
Sarah:hippo and the gigantic forehead. Intimate texts.
Mark:So this is an aside, but relates to this week.
Sarah:Oh, it's an aside? Got Half this isn't an aside?
Mark:We got a note this week about a bunch of old episodes. And I've been trying to listen to the episodes to respond to the questions and things like that. But we have some episode names that are crack tacking. I read I forget which one, but I read one of the episode names that the email refers to, and I said, there is no way I named an episode that.
Sarah:It's like screaming monkeys and strawberry pie. What?
Mark:I went and looked. I'm like, oh, yeah.
Sarah:Oh, yeah. We did that.
Mark:What were we talking about? Well, this
Sarah:one's Captain Hippo and the gigantic forehead.
Mark:Okay. There's a new sign in the cop shop. Did you see it? No. Okay.
Mark:I don't think I've seen it before because
Sarah:The bracelets one? Yes. Oh, with the handcuffs? Yes. Yeah.
Mark:So it says shoplifting is a crime, free bracelets with every theft. Why would they have that in the cop shop?
Sarah:They abhor an empty wall.
Mark:I guess. Like, I understand.
Sarah:I could think it's that guy up Nigel. I think Nigel decorates downstairs when nobody's looking.
Mark:Did you see the sign on the stairs and what it says? No. Canine unit. Why did they put the canine people upstairs? That is a total
Sarah:Tiger should have taken off upstairs.
Mark:Yeah. It's a total goof that the stairs say canine y and
Sarah:then on them. It should just say Nigel's lair.
Mark:Nigel's He's up there.
Sarah:He controls the entire town.
Mark:The dark hippo of Nigel's lair.
Sarah:He sits in front of a whole bank of screens and watches drawings. It's like that bad guy in that that Nick Frost movie that we just watched. Getaway. Getaway. Okay.
Sarah:I'm not recommending this movie, by the way. It is incredibly different than anything else we cover. It's more like Wicker Man meets comedy meets
Mark:Evil Dead.
Sarah:Evil Dead?
Mark:There is a lot of blood. A lot.
Sarah:But there's a bad guy who sits in front of a whole bank of monitors and watches what's going on and that's Nigel upstairs in the cop shop. Y'all knowing Nigel.
Mark:Okay. Why are the Ferriers still married? They're not spending weekends together.
Sarah:Yeah. I understand having time to yourself. I get it. Especially when you work together. I understand that.
Sarah:They clearly cannot stand each other. And I mostly blame her because she's a miserable jerk.
Mark:She is not good. I at first was like, I don't know. And then she's like paranoid, and he is like, there is no reason for her to be paranoid.
Sarah:He's not done anything. No. And he's not nasty. He's kind.
Mark:And he likes the dog.
Sarah:She's just mean. Yeah. We're not given any reason for her to be that way. No. Except she is tired of him.
Sarah:She's
Mark:read too much of his poetry.
Sarah:Good riddance. I think they're better off apart and he clearly is happy at the end. Let's let's let's jump to the to the chase here.
Mark:Okay.
Sarah:So Debs, not Deb
Mark:Deb.
Sarah:Not Debbie. Debs killed Linley.
Mark:Yes.
Sarah:Why? What is her motive?
Mark:Her motive is that she has discovered that there's a new will and that it leaves the cottage to Joe. And that she feels that this will upset or is unfair to Miranda. So she's attempting to get rid of the will when Lindley confronts her. And Lindley says she's gonna go and tell everybody about the will and she gets bonk bonked on the head.
Sarah:Then and then Debbs leaves, and then Debbs comes back to finish the job and goes bonk bonk bonk bonk on
Mark:Without the a doubt, Debbs is crazy.
Sarah:Yeah.
Mark:Is it because of her son's giant forehead?
Sarah:She did give birth to him. She's probably traumatized by that. Possibly.
Mark:They like, okay. There is a fine line. I know I think we probably talked about this with Poirot, maybe a little bit with
Sarah:What? Gay crazy? Like
Mark:That that there was the the notion of motive with gay crazy. So either somebody's gonna find out that you're gay, that you don't want them
Sarah:Or just being gay makes you mentally unstable.
Mark:They don't
Sarah:That's not
Mark:They do a fantastic job of not implying that. No. No. In fact, their relationship is seen as adult Yep. Raunchy, fun.
Mark:Mutual. Mutual.
Sarah:Mhmm.
Mark:And that's all it is.
Sarah:Except Debs is insane.
Mark:Debs is the problem.
Sarah:Okay. So when And
Mark:if we notice, season one season eight episode one, the Odds boyfriend girlfriend, crazy, killer.
Sarah:Mhmm.
Mark:Miranda's girlfriend, crazy, killer.
Sarah:Mhmm.
Mark:The rock musician, girlfriend, crazy, Killer. Oh. We've had three for three in this this season.
Sarah:The moral of the story is don't get a girlfriend?
Mark:Well, the next one's about the guys who play that strange game in the pub, so I don't think they have girlfriends.
Sarah:Then maybe the moral of the story is actually know your girlfriend.
Mark:Yes. I would say so.
Sarah:Because Miranda and Debs don't know each other that well. They're early in their relationship.
Mark:And Miranda says that.
Sarah:And Miranda has never given her the questionnaire that you do after like the tenth date. The would you kill somebody if you found out I was cut out of a will?
Mark:Question. The question, yes.
Sarah:Yeah. Yes? Let's not see each other anymore.
Mark:But when does that okay. When does that cross the line to being okay?
Sarah:What, when is it all right to kill somebody because you're gonna be cut out of a will?
Mark:Yeah. If I was being cut out of a will, would you kill somebody over it?
Sarah:Not if you were a lawyer.
Mark:Okay.
Sarah:Who could definitely go and argue it.
Mark:Yes.
Sarah:And say, he was old, he didn't know what he was doing. I'm his next of kin. I'm the default. Maybe. There's no reason given why it shouldn't be me.
Mark:And the problem with death
Sarah:And Miranda doesn't want the house anyway. It's just a hassle to her.
Mark:And then she shows her true colors because she frames Joe, basically.
Sarah:And
Mark:Miranda really is upset by this. It's a good bit of acting when she finds out that and figures it out.
Sarah:So Deb's is there in the house because she's looking for the will and she finds it. Right?
Mark:Yep. I have in my notes. I'd say I'd stand by you and tell you, Frencho. And
Sarah:Lindley comes in because she's a bossy person and a nosy person and confronts her and rips it out of her hand
Mark:Yeah.
Sarah:Like she has any right to have it. No. And says, well, then it's okay if I just go show this to Miranda. Yeah. And Deb should have said, yeah, and we'll fight it in court.
Sarah:Yeah. Go ahead.
Mark:If Miranda even wanted the house.
Sarah:Miranda might have said, that's okay. Joe Joe did a lot of good and and helped me by helping my dad. I'm happy for him to have the house. And then none of this happened. But Deb's says
Mark:crazy.
Sarah:Now I have to kill you.
Mark:This is the season of crazy ladies.
Sarah:I think that the will was Deb's last straw and probably what precipitated actually feeling murderous toward Lynley was her painting that fireplace because no real estate agent could ever No. Get over that.
Mark:Wham o. I
Sarah:have to kill you.
Mark:Also
Sarah:For painting the brick.
Mark:I didn't notice that Deb is all over that house with her fingertips.
Sarah:Yes. Touching all the things. But she's the real estate agent, so she can get away with
Mark:But where is that line?
Sarah:If there's blood on the fingers, then it's kind of bad. You can't really say, that happened at an open house. It was just a showing. Killed somebody during the showing. And then I touched some stuff.
Sarah:Yep. So, you know, explainable.
Mark:Miranda pulls over because she's drank too much and got in the car. Mhmm. I don't buy that.
Sarah:What do you mean?
Mark:Like, I think she just drives home slower.
Sarah:You don't think she actually pulled over?
Mark:No. I think she's pig headed enough that she would be like, I know I probably shouldn't drive, but I'm gonna finish this.
Sarah:I don't think so. I think if she'd thought again, she probably wouldn't have driven home. But after the Joe move, she needed to get away. She felt like she needed to get distance from him. I And understand then realized she shouldn't have.
Mark:I understand that. But she had a perfectly good house right there.
Sarah:We don't know how far away it is.
Mark:No. But she
Sarah:But, should yeah, she could have gone in her own house. Right? Yes. But she doesn't think of it as her house. So and the hippo's in the bed.
Sarah:So where are you gonna sleep? Exactly. Always hogs in the bed.
Mark:By the way, Mike has a girlfriend.
Sarah:No. He has a mysterious voice on the other end of a phone who texts him and calls him.
Mark:It's like they added on to the end of every episode.
Sarah:It could be that he's just doing one of those pay as you go girlfriends. What? It's not. We know that.
Mark:What is a pay as you go girlfriend?
Sarah:Well, know, the ones that charge by the hour to talk to you on the phone. A prostitute? No, because it's only on the phone. It could be that kind of situation. No.
Sarah:It's Mike doesn't need not, obviously, but if you only have the information that you have at this point, all we know is there's somebody who texts him and calls him or takes his calls.
Mark:But I didn't immediately live to prostitute.
Sarah:Could be somebody he met on the Internet.
Mark:Could be.
Sarah:Who isn't who they say they are. He could be getting catfished. That's all I'm saying.
Mark:Well, I don't think Mike would be catfished.
Sarah:He's been married 17 times. He doesn't have a good track record. I mean, better than Deb's, but, know
Mark:Yeah. We never hear about Deb's husband.
Sarah:Yeah. We do because they're in a custody argument all the time.
Mark:Oh, that's right. That's right.
Sarah:So Miranda was willing to lie for Debs knowing that she was a murderer until it looked like Joe was gonna be framed for the murder. That's where she drew the line.
Mark:That is not officer of the court behavior. No. And she is an officer of the court.
Sarah:That is disbarment behavior.
Mark:I think she should be disbarred.
Sarah:But she doesn't because she's in four more episodes
Mark:Four more as a lawyer. Including two that she wrote. Isn't that convenient?
Sarah:The character didn't write them?
Mark:No. The actress wrote them.
Sarah:But if this was the real world, she's lying.
Mark:Well, she's up the river.
Sarah:Yeah. She's in big trouble. She's at least being disbarred.
Mark:Well, maybe Dennis represents her in court. Because strangely enough, Dennis is a pretty good lawyer. Yeah. Note Curry discussion from episode one.
Sarah:And haven't we seen them run into each other?
Mark:Oh, yeah.
Sarah:They have respect for each other.
Mark:I think they run into each other.
Sarah:They're the two big lawyers in town. Yep. I feel like at some point, he refers somebody to her. Like, not my kind of case. You should go talk to
Mark:I think so.
Sarah:Or it's somebody he's one of the many women he's had a relationship with, and he says, can't represent you. You gotta go talk to Miranda or something.
Mark:Yes. Every lawyer in this town is a bit of a floozy.
Sarah:Does Gina get the house at the end? Do you think she wins the auction and buys the house?
Mark:I don't know because someone on the Brokenwood subreddit asked when Gina moved in with Sims, which is a spoiler for the future. But
Sarah:It's only temporary because something's happening at her house. Yes. Like she's getting it painted or something. Yeah.
Mark:But yeah, I don't know if it's this house or not in the Fantastic Christmas Zones episode. Which I wanna watch again now because it I think I would understand that episode better after watching the family up, the Odds episode.
Sarah:Yeah. We know something now because at the end of the episode, because the new Will has been found, or has it? Because what what did
Mark:She threw
Sarah:What did this? The
Mark:bottle away. I don't know if it had the paper in it or not.
Sarah:Let's assume they found it. Yeah. So it's Joe who's auctioning the house. Yeah. Gina would have done better to just make an offer before then.
Mark:I would think so.
Sarah:Yeah. But then she would have been buying it from somebody who didn't own it.
Mark:Yeah. And then you run into all sorts of problems then. They would just
Sarah:be invalid. Yeah. Her offer would be invalid.
Mark:Imagine that if you find your dream house and
Sarah:Make an offer and it gets accepted and you're financed and everything, and then you find out the person you're buying it from doesn't
Mark:and know everything. Oh my god.
Sarah:Be so mad. You'd sue them.
Mark:You would sue them. Dennis Buchanan would appear like magic
Sarah:in I that love what Gina says at the end. She's like, he doesn't know that I listen to the Russian anthem at full volume every And he goes, you do? She goes, no, but I could. It's something she would absolutely do.
Mark:And that's that's an that's evidence of her being pulled back.
Sarah:Yeah. I think she and Wyatt would get along just fine.
Mark:I think so too.
Sarah:I think she'd be easier to live next to. Yeah. As long as you didn't mind her dead body stories every once in a while.
Mark:No. I think Wyatt would be interested in asking her about him.
Sarah:Probably. Telling me about your dead bodies. Yep.
Mark:Why is he Russian?
Sarah:I don't know. I don't know.
Mark:She's Russian. Why does not Russian?
Sarah:No. That is spark to a flame.
Mark:Yeah, which is a stretch for a title, but you gotta put something on
Sarah:the There's bonfire.
Mark:You gotta put something on the top.
Sarah:Yep. There's a bonfire. Yep. They should have called it the unnecessary hippo. Yes.
Sarah:But they don't listen to us. They don't ask us for title ideas. So sparked to a flame it is. Next week, season eight episode four.
Mark:Which is entitled Three Coins in a Fountain. And it's about that strange game they play in the pub. Now, I think we should try to play this game before the next episode
Sarah:Okay.
Mark:And film it so that we can put it put it on on the Internet.
Sarah:Okay. I think I can arrange that. I think so. So we'll have a child film it and see how You say child. They're 23.
Mark:No. They're great kids. They did an amazing yard work this morning.
Sarah:They did. They did
Mark:a great job.
Sarah:Anyway, on that note, bye, maniacs.
Mark:Bye, maniacs. Thanks for joining us on the mystery maniacs podcast. If you enjoyed our crazy podcast today, don't miss out on future episodes. Follow us on social media for updates, beyond the scenes content, and exclusive sneak peeks. Subscribe, like, and share to spread the word.
Mark:Bye, maniacs. I wish there was, like you said, something in the journal about her being sensitive about sound or something.
Sarah:Did we talk about that before we started recording? I think we did.
Mark:Okay. I think so. Okay. In the before recording that you didn't hear
Sarah:No. Just strike it and start again.
