Welsh, the Ginger Nut! | Brokenwood | "Three Coins in a Fountain" | Mystery Maniacs Podcast EP246
Arriba.
Sarah:Hey, maniacs.
Mark:Hey, mystery maniacs. Mystery maniacs is a comedy recap podcast dedicated to mystery TV. Each week, we dig into an episode of a show including the murders, the mayhem, the loonies and everything else we love. This week Brokenwood Mysteries. Three Coins in a Fountain season eight episode four.
Mark:Spoofing.
Sarah:Spoofing. I'm Mark. I'm Sarah.
Mark:If you let your kids spoof at the local pub, they should be able to listen to the podcast.
Sarah:Let them gamble? Yeah. Only on the last round.
Sarah:Yeah.
Sarah:Before we dive in, one of the listeners, Beatrice, emailed us a fantastic mystery maniacs broken wood
Mark:An update card. An updated bingo card because Beatrice had done the big go card, the original bingo cards.
Sarah:Yeah. For Midsummer. Right?
Mark:For Midsummer, and these are the updated ones.
Sarah:And we're gonna she emailed it to us, but we will include it in the show notes so everybody can grab it. I we shouldn't give away all the squares. I have to say my favorite one is Nigel, the cop upstairs.
Mark:Yep. I I was kind of taken back by Mark forgets someone's name.
Sarah:Bingo. Or Mark repeats something Sarah just said.
Mark:My other favorite is Mark repeats something Sarah just said.
Sarah:Aw. You're funny.
Mark:So you can play along
Sarah:Yeah.
Mark:As you listen.
Sarah:Or get a chuckle from reading it. It's fun. You, Beatrice. It's so you, Beatrice. We've been watching Wednesday on Netflix.
Sarah:Yes. Well, is kind of a mystery. Yeah. It's just fun. It's like brain candy.
Mark:Well, summer is our fun time shows. So we get our big brother in. We get our usually, we get a traitor in. And we're watching Wednesday and Star Trek right now. I
Sarah:have needed brain candy lately because my team just put the finishing touches on a course that's gonna be rolled out to 90,000 students.
Mark:And we bought a car
Sarah:this week. You mean two hours ago?
Mark:Yes.
Sarah:It's been a day. It's been a week.
Mark:Oh, also 40,000 students show up tomorrow.
Sarah:Yeah. In the next few days.
Mark:Yeah.
Sarah:Whoo. Going to get exciting. It always does. Speaking of exciting, just a little show note. We're going to change up our schedule just a little bit for the next couple of months.
Sarah:We're going to we're going to release a show every other week just until the November. Yep. Just through September and October. It's just too crazy. I would rather us say that now and know, and we will definitely have a show out every other week than try to get a show out every week and not be able to do it.
Mark:We always get busy during this time. Everybody knows this. We do a full handmade Halloween display that hundreds of people come to see in our front yard. There will be pictures. Don't worry, I will post pictures of all that goodness.
Sarah:But it's also school starting and you've
Mark:got a Yep. Couple of cons and you
Sarah:Anybody out there who's an academic, and I know there's a lot of you, you understand.
Mark:Yes. It is our busy time unless we get midsummer dates and news.
Sarah:We will
Mark:Then the schedule might need to change.
Sarah:Yeah. We'll do a mini and announce
Mark:But usually they've been releasing those in December
Sarah:Yeah.
Mark:And we've been doing the minis in December and the full episodes in January.
Sarah:Don't forget, you could be submitting a cake to their contest right now.
Mark:Oh, their social media
Sarah:They just is so keep rolling out more
Mark:and more like,
Sarah:really? It's not a bad idea, but did you have to introduce it like, hello, I have made a cake. Oh, a cake? I don't know what a cake is.
Mark:These people are actors, and they're not doing
Sarah:It's like they're purposefully doing a bad job.
Mark:Yeah. Well,
Sarah:I We know they're better actors than that.
Mark:I I really hope there's no point in an episode where they're doing like a bakery episode.
Sarah:You know they're gonna have like a British Bake Off theme
Mark:episode this season.
Sarah:They've got to. Are you ready to talk about Three Coins in a Fountain?
Mark:Three Coins in a Fountain released the 07/18/2022, directed by David Dalla Tour and written by Tim Baum. This is male maleness of mail town written all over.
Sarah:But it has one of my favorite one episode characters, and that is Pablo Picante, the Welsh.
Mark:Pablo Picante, the Welsh is fantastic.
Sarah:I need to take a leak.
Sarah:The bathroom's down the hall.
Sarah:No. I need to take a leak. Make a leak. Play leak.
Sarah:I don't know what he said. Something about a leak. After saying that Welsh people look like leaks
Mark:What what is fantastic is they play Pablo straight
Sarah:Yes.
Mark:Until the very last moment.
Sarah:Yes. And then he's like,
Mark:And even Dane is like, really, man?
Sarah:Yeah. Come on. But he's just so fantastic. When when he's in the horned helmet and the and the sheep's wool, and he's like, Arriba.
Mark:Like, they direct the director must have said I'm
Sarah:No. Just No. Bigger. Bigger. Bigger.
Sarah:Bigger.
Mark:Crazier. Bigger.
Sarah:So Speaking of him, it's totally we're totally out of sequence. I'm sorry. He's got quite the tattoo on his belly.
Mark:Yeah. It's a dragon.
Sarah:I took a shot of it. It's not quite a dragon. I think it may be like a winged Medusa.
Mark:Oh, okay. I'll put that in the show notes.
Sarah:The picture and see what folks think. Wow. He does say the dragon is his is his spirit animal. So
Mark:But then he says something else.
Sarah:I don't know. He's crazy.
Mark:He has it out for pugs, though.
Sarah:Yeah. Kill the pugs. I smell bacon.
Sarah:It's a very funny character.
Mark:It's definitely back to the funny.
Sarah:Yes. We get a dead guy in a fountain. This is the worst designed fountain ever. It is a death trap waiting to happen. I'm amazed that this is the first person to impale their own head on that arrow.
Mark:And those joggers are actively running around looking for a dead body. Of course, they are.
Sarah:Wouldn't you be?
Mark:They're like broken wood? We're at the fraught of an episode. Let's look around for it's a dead body. We finally found one. Ding.
Mark:Ding. Ding. Ding. We got a bingo.
Sarah:That's what you and I would be doing. You know it. We'd be looking. Did you check that ditch over there? There could be a dead body in that ditch.
Sarah:That's a pretty good spot for a dead body.
Mark:So they do something weird off the top that is never referenced, but is weird. And I don't know why they do this. And only maniacs like me would pick this up. Did you notice the Gina clone? No.
Mark:So when they start the episode, they follow a person in a bunny suit
Sarah:Mhmm.
Mark:With a ponytail Mhmm. Towards the crime scene.
Sarah:That's not Gina?
Mark:That's not Gina.
Sarah:Oh. I just thought it
Mark:was is already there. Oh. Why they do that?
Sarah:Does she have a sidekick?
Mark:I don't know.
Sarah:Who's a clone?
Mark:Maybe she's part of Rabbit. I
Sarah:think she means Rabbit. Russian abandoned brides in district. What is It could have just been rab. Yep. What would the IT stand for if it was rabbit?
Sarah:In transit.
Mark:I don't know what and, like, okay. I'm an abandoned Russian bride and I see Chalmers walk into the bar. I'm like, hey.
Sarah:I'm not abandoned anymore. I'm not
Mark:abandoned anymore.
Sarah:Hello, big boy. Want some borscht? Yeah. So Brad Brunnheimer, the world spoofing champion, newly crowned.
Mark:First of all, that man is not from Massachusetts. I lived with an individual from Massachusetts. She may have been a girlfriend.
Sarah:He doesn't say things like, I put my khakis in my car.
Mark:And that person is no person from Massachusetts.
Sarah:He could be a cultured person from Massachusetts. I have talked to people who live in Massachusetts who don't sound like the roughest Bostonians. I don't know.
Mark:Okay.
Sarah:So the the spoofing event has been held at The Snake And Tiger, and Frodo, because he always ends up in the middle of everything, has managed to attend.
Mark:I have a question. Yes. Why do they stop and help Frodo?
Sarah:Because they're good guys.
Mark:One of them's a killer.
Sarah:Not yet.
Mark:Well, he will soon be, and the other two are vandals.
Sarah:They're just having fun.
Mark:Oh, okay. They're just boys being boys.
Sarah:One of them is lying about his identity. Yes. But but Tommy's a good guy.
Mark:I guess.
Sarah:He seems like a nice guy.
Mark:I guess.
Sarah:And Frodo is like a lost puppy that people wanna help, so they help him. And then they're like, hey. Wanna go to this thing at The Snake And Tiger? Because, you know, that's the only place events can be held in Brokenwood.
Mark:I have a note here because what happens is we don't know Frodo gets picked up by them yet. And Chalmers and Sims find the graffiti. And my note is, don't they have cameras on this stuff?
Sarah:Yeah. But apparently, Pablo can throw a mud ball.
Mark:Speaking of Pablo and Dane. That's his name. Right?
Sarah:Tane.
Mark:Tane. Sorry. Speaking of Pablo
Sarah:and There's another square for your bingo card. Mark gets a name wrong.
Mark:Oh, Speaking
Sarah:of, Tane. Uh-huh.
Mark:I spent an enormous amount of time on that ticket stub.
Sarah:Oh for the blacks game?
Mark:Yes. So the All Blacks are the national rugby team of New Zealand.
Sarah:Mhmm.
Mark:They play at Eden Park. It's a stadium. The section on the ticket is two fourteen and the date is sometime in November for an exhibition game against The United States.
Sarah:Okay.
Mark:This never happened.
Sarah:Okay.
Mark:It has never happened. There is no section two fourteen in the stadium.
Sarah:It's a believable looking ticket, though.
Mark:It's a believable looking ticket
Sarah:If people had paper tickets anymore.
Mark:Which is I wanted to look up how much that ticket would cost. You wanted to know
Sarah:if Brad had a good seat?
Mark:Yeah. And he would have there are two hundred secondtions that are on in the equivalent of end zones.
Sarah:Mhmm.
Mark:But there's not a two fourteen. Okay. So he would be sitting as close to the field as you could get.
Sarah:Oh. So
Mark:it's a good seat. It's a very good seat. But, yeah, the all backs have not played The United States in an exhibition game at Eden Park. I checked. The last time
Sarah:they played that took you a while.
Mark:They played the USA Eagles, which I apparently are the the American national rugby team, was in 2014 in Chicago.
Sarah:I didn't know there was a professional rugby team that represented The United States. I knew there was Olympics and university teams.
Mark:Yeah.
Sarah:So this event is a spoofing championship.
Mark:Yes. And Frodo does a textbook excellent job of explaining spoofing. Now we need to get something straight about spoofing. At its core, it is misogynistic. Understatement.
Mark:At its core, it is elitist and a point of privilege. Yeah. It's got special jackets.
Sarah:Yeah. And they look just like that.
Mark:And at its core, it is worse in reality than they portrayed in the show.
Sarah:Yeah. For one thing, they make it look like a lot more fun on the show. Do a YouTube search and and and watch a video about an actual spoofing tournament.
Mark:I will put the World Poofers Championship video Wow. In the show notes.
Sarah:It is
Mark:so draw Along with their hall of champions on their website that looks like it was created in 1994.
Sarah:You know what they need? Pablo.
Mark:Pablo needs If to
Sarah:Picante actually played, then it would be a lot more fun.
Mark:So the first time I went to England in '94, you you you're flying into Heathrow and you look out the window and you're like, wow. They actually drive on the wrong side of the road. Mhmm. Like, until you actually see it yourself, you don't fully comprehend. Yeah.
Mark:They wear uglier coats in real life than the coats they have here.
Sarah:I'm kind of surprised how much, like, Quentin and Tane and Pablo wear the jackets. Yeah. Like, when you wear that jacket during the event, I get, but why would you wear it outside the event?
Mark:Frodo actually had some decent clothes that fit him too.
Sarah:And then he puts on Brad's giant jacket.
Mark:Yeah.
Sarah:He looks like he's got two black eyes. Like, looks tired.
Mark:He does. He looks a little tired.
Sarah:So spoofing is real Yes. Is the point. If you've never heard of it before, it is real.
Mark:So a quick rundown of the game. Each player has three coins. You put you choose a number between zero and three. You hold it in your hand in secret. Everybody guesses how many total coins there are, and then you expose your coin.
Sarah:And they play with four or five people. At a time. Right? So it's between 15 if you've got five people. Yes.
Sarah:And whoever gets the number right or is closest Gets a point. Gets a point.
Mark:And whoever And the furthest away gets a negative point.
Sarah:Yeah. But if you go to the world spoofers site
Mark:Yes. Under
Sarah:resources. They have, of course, like darts and bowling and other games, they've got slang, the lingo that they use. So it's almost like cockney rhyming slangs.
Mark:They're called calls.
Sarah:Calls. So when you announce how many coins you think everybody has total, they don't just say 9, right? They've got slang for it. Yes. And boy, if you didn't know how sexist, racist, sort of gross Yeah.
Sarah:Is. When you see this list, at best, they are awfully proud of how funny they think they are. And at worst, they are sexist and racist.
Mark:I was like, this is in print on your website.
Sarah:A public website Yes. Where everyone can see. Some of them are not so bad. Yes. So for example, 13 is baker's.
Mark:Yeah. For baker's dozen.
Sarah:Right. If they're guessing that the total number of coins is seven, they say it's a Jimmy Bond. Right? Double 0 seven. Yeah.
Sarah:But then there's things like, if you think the total is five, you say Titanic. Why? We'll give the audience two seconds to guess. Because the Titanic sank. It's cinco.
Sarah:Oh. And cinco is five in Spanish. That's one of those, you're clever. You think you're funny, don't you? But those are like the least offensive.
Sarah:Yeah. I'll give you one example of offensive that isn't nearly the most offensive, One of the calls is German date.
Mark:Yes.
Sarah:Do you want to guess what that is? Seven? No. It's nine because if you take a German girl out, that's what you're gonna hear most of. Nine.
Sarah:Nine, which is no in German.
Mark:Wow. Oh, it's it's not good stuff.
Sarah:No. We think we can do better.
Mark:So we've done better.
Sarah:So so before we dive into the actual case, we're gonna do some spoofing Yeah. Which is not a fun thing to listen to except we've come up with our own calls.
Mark:And my calls are on a theme.
Sarah:And we're gonna try to guess what the other person's call means.
Mark:As well as how many coins that are in their hand. Right.
Sarah:So we each have three coins.
Mark:Okay. Here are
Sarah:the coins. Yeah. Okay. Are you ready? Yep.
Sarah:Put your hand out. You have to look at how many coins you I have to cover how many coins I don't have in my hand.
Mark:Okay. Guess. I'm gonna say a leaky boat.
Sarah:I'm gonna say Kino.
Mark:Oh. Kino. Isn't that a game based on, like, fours? I mean, is that why you say Kino?
Sarah:No. I'm gonna guess yours first.
Mark:Okay.
Sarah:I think yours is five. Okay. Because a leaky boat sinks. Cinco.
Mark:Nope. Okay. What is it? It's six. Why?
Mark:Because it's six months in a leaky boat by New Zealand's own split ends. I'll give you
Sarah:a hint on Keno. It's people, not the game.
Mark:Corozano Keno? Core four.
Sarah:No. It's two for the Kino brothers, the twins on Antiques Roadshow.
Mark:Oh. So Sarah has one, and I have Three. Three.
Sarah:So the answer is actually four. Neither of us got it right.
Mark:Nope. So nobody got any points.
Sarah:No. Leaky boat. Mine was a nerd call, keynote, brothers.
Mark:Okay.
Sarah:Okay. Ready? Yep. I'm gonna guess bug bite.
Mark:I'm gonna guess lonely. Lonely? Lonely. Bug bite, mosquito, toe, two, two.
Sarah:No. Oh. You're guessing one because one is the loneliest number. Yes. You wanna you wanna guess again what bug bite might mean?
Mark:Bug bite. No. I don't know.
Sarah:What are bug bites? Itchy. Itchy. Itchy is one in Japanese. Oh.
Sarah:Itchy ni sanshi go.
Mark:So one. Yes. So we both bet one.
Sarah:Yeah. And it's three.
Mark:Boy, we suck at this game. So the score remains at zero.
Sarah:Mhmm. One more time. Okay. What's your guess? Rings.
Sarah:Power rangers. Four. No. Three? No.
Sarah:Isn't there three rings?
Mark:There there might be three rings, but In Lord
Sarah:of the Rings?
Mark:Yeah. But No. There's more than that. Mine are all song.
Sarah:I don't know. What's rings mean?
Mark:Five golden rings.
Sarah:Five. Okay. What do you think Power Rangers means?
Mark:Five, because there's five Power Rangers.
Sarah:It is five, but that's not the reason why. It's because it's go go Power Rangers, and go is five in Japanese. I gave you that one. You have that. I gave you the clue.
Sarah:I have two coins.
Mark:I have two. So We were both wrong. Both wrong again. Wow.
Sarah:My other calls were for zero, it was Uranus. I think that one's self explanatory.
Mark:I guess so.
Sarah:And then for three, I had threat. Okay. Triple threat. Yeah. Four is for homage.
Mark:Four homage. Quattro homage. Quattro homage.
Sarah:You'll like six. Six is Molson for a six pack.
Mark:Six pack.
Sarah:Yeah. What were your other ones?
Mark:For Zero, I had ride because in Smashing Pumpkins, Zero, remember he goes, you wanna go for a ride?
Sarah:I never would have guessed that ever ever ever.
Mark:One is the lonely. Two is hearts.
Sarah:Two of hearts. Two hearts that speak as one.
Mark:Two hearts
Sarah:I hate that song so much.
Mark:Two hearts is beat as one by U2, not the the silly
Sarah:Two of hearts.
Mark:Not that song. Okay. Three is the big for the big three killed my baby by the white stripes. Okay. Four is friend.
Mark:I don't know. Because friend is a four letter word by cake. Okay. Five golden rings and then six is six months in the leaky boat by split ends.
Sarah:Maybe there's somebody listening who would have guessed yours, but I doubt it.
Mark:Not sexist or racist. No. No. I think we passed the brief.
Sarah:I mean, guys, they're really bad. If you wanna know how bad they are, go look. Yeah. We'll include the link to the world spoofers champion champion's website, worldspoofers.com.
Mark:And like, dude Wow. Dudes Put
Sarah:on your don't be offended mans.
Mark:Dudes in dude town. It's fully dude town.
Sarah:It's fully dude town at the event at The Snake And Tiger. Wait. How does a game about guessing coins become something where you need horned helmets and swords? Like, how does it devolve into that?
Mark:I I don't know. I do not know.
Sarah:But it does. Ray says spoofing is aspirational. So aspirational's in there, but Trudy doesn't say anything about not being a narc. Nope. Otherwise, we'd have that's a bingo card right
Mark:there. Yeah. That's a bingo. What happened is there was a spoofing tournament.
Sarah:Mhmm.
Mark:This American showed up early to take advantage of these hicks out in the bush by talking to a local jeweler.
Sarah:Because Brad, the victim, is a shyster, right?
Mark:Yeah. And a magician.
Sarah:Yeah. He's a con artist. Yes. And he's come to rip them off because he knows in the last round, are going to be great big bets that happen. And he goes to Carla, the jeweler, to get a trick coin made Yes.
Sarah:That he can slide apart and together to represent one coin or two Yes. To win and get the money and split the money with her.
Mark:So he can change his number from 2 to 3 Mhmm. From 1 to 2 Right. Easily.
Sarah:Yeah. Yeah. And he gets found out. Yes. And he gets impaled by the little god of love
Mark:Yes.
Sarah:In the back of his head.
Mark:This at least at least this episode until the point they find the coin in his mouth are legitimate in saying it's an accident.
Sarah:It could very well be an accident because like I said, this is a really poorly made fountain. Yes. It is a death waiting to happen. I'm surprised there aren't toddlers just hanging off of it like a shish kebab.
Mark:I totally don't usually, have a problem with, you know, like, we found him with an axe halfway through his neck.
Sarah:It could be an accident.
Mark:Suicide possibly.
Sarah:Maybe he was spinning it like a baton. No. It got stuck in his neck.
Mark:This is legitimately could be an accident.
Sarah:But it wasn't.
Mark:No. What it was was
Sarah:Remember, spoiler podcast. Stop right now if you don't wanna know who did it. Spoiler. Spoiler.
Mark:Football player. And I know the New Zealand people are like, he's a rugby player.
Sarah:Yes.
Mark:Football player, Welsh, the fantastic artist. Pablo. And Richie Rich.
Sarah:Mhmm. Quentin.
Mark:Conway Twitty. That hat. Oh.
Sarah:I think he totally pulls that hat off.
Mark:I'd want to pull that hat off him.
Sarah:He's handsome.
Mark:It's way too big.
Sarah:It works for him.
Mark:No. It doesn't.
Sarah:When Chalmers has it on, it works for him too.
Mark:Works better on Chalmers.
Sarah:When he tips his hat hat up in the back of the car, he was like, Chalmers is looking good.
Mark:While Ginger Welsh and the football player are vandalizing the police station, choose a different place to vandalize.
Sarah:I love that Pablo gets on Tane's shoulders to pain because he's so wee and angry. Richie And he just happens to carry spray paint around with him all the time.
Mark:Richie Rich decides to go back to confront the
Sarah:Brad. Brad. Because he thinks he's cheated. He thinks he's cheated. Now Clinton has all the money in the world.
Sarah:He's extremely wealthy, but
Mark:But he can't buy winning. Sure you could, dude.
Sarah:Well, I mean you
Sarah:could, but you but you wouldn't have really won.
Mark:Anyway, he goes back and kills him. Yeah. Because he's meeting his accomplice who was dressed as a man.
Sarah:Brad is meeting his accomplice, Carla, the jeweler, who's now John Ruby, who is clearly not a man. No. It's it's bad makeup.
Mark:It's bad to makeup. It's bad on the mannequin.
Sarah:Yeah. When you borrow a beard from a mannequin in your shop and slap it on your face, it's not gonna go well. No. It'd be all dusty and stuff. Oh.
Sarah:And she's not she's a very feminine looking woman. So that's what happens.
Mark:Right? He goes back and he kills him semi accidentally.
Sarah:Well, when he picks him off the spike and slams him back on it, it's not an
Mark:accident Not an accident anymore.
Sarah:Because Brad's standing there in the park with a paper bag full of cash waiting for Carla so they can share the money, and Quentin finds him there.
Mark:And the thing that I hate about Quentin other than his gigantic hat that does not fit him is that he then takes the money.
Sarah:Yeah. Which he didn't need to do.
Mark:He did not need to do.
Sarah:Because he doesn't need the money.
Mark:And he brags to to Sims that he does that $25,000 isn't a lot to him.
Sarah:Right. Because he's a tire magnate. He's a tire magnate. Bingo. Just repeated something
Mark:So I the tire commercial that the football player does.
Sarah:He just gave me a look, guys. Tire commercial used.
Mark:Is it looks like it's filmed in an actual stadium.
Sarah:It's a it's a good looking tire commercial.
Mark:The phone number and the website on the end of the commercial are nonexistent.
Sarah:I'm glad you checked. Did you call the number?
Mark:I did not call
Sarah:the number. You just looked it up.
Mark:I'm sure.
Sarah:Okay.
Mark:The the website does not work. But they they're famous for having all black tires. Yeah. And that is a total goof on the all blacks and how people like
Sarah:What what are tires usually? I mean, I know there's white wall tires, but nobody makes those anymore.
Mark:No.
Sarah:So all tires are all black typically, except for maybe the brand name. And even that's usually just raised letters.
Mark:So the biggest problem I have with the episode is things like, if they hadn't picked up Frodo, would this have happened?
Sarah:What's Frodo got to do with it?
Mark:Maybe. Yeah.
Sarah:I think it still happens.
Mark:I think the best part of Frodo is all of these silly men constantly say this is a game of skill. Yeah. Especially the sims. Yeah. Frodo has never spoofed in his life.
Mark:No. And he places fourth in the tournament.
Sarah:But it's a game of skill, obviously. Mean, And if Brad and Carla had decided to rendezvous after the game at her jewelry shop,
Mark:none of None of this this would happen.
Sarah:No. Well, I mean, Quentin may have still killed Brad, but he would have had to look for him and, I don't know, push him out of the plane on the way to the rugby match or something. Maybe. It would not have worked out this way anyway.
Mark:We see a reappearance of the hotel, the same bar, the same airplane that was in the earlier airplane episode. All those things are the same.
Sarah:I was glad to see Alden Coombs again. Yes. He of the steampunk hot air balloon. Yes. I was like, where do I know that guy from?
Sarah:Yep. I know he's been in another episode and then I saw his mustache. Was like, steampunk.
Mark:But the ballooning job is is not going well.
Sarah:Oh, no. It's in receivership.
Mark:It's in receivership.
Sarah:He's broke.
Mark:His his lifelong dream is is not doing well. He's living in a trailer.
Sarah:We've okay. So Chalmers goes to Carla's he goes to Carla's jewelry shop. The first time, she runs away and isn't there. Yes. Suss.
Sarah:Right?
Mark:The second time, he surprises her, and that's why he she's there.
Sarah:But the first time she doesn't drive off, she hides. In a yellow shirt. In a yellow dress behind a trellis that you can see through. She's the worst hider. She's just standing there in a bright yellow dress.
Sarah:Don't see me. Don't see me.
Mark:She's bad at disguise and bad at hiding.
Sarah:He doesn't see her, so I guess it works. I don't know.
Mark:But she's gonna use her half of the money, which amounts to 12,000 u New Zealand dollars.
Sarah:To bail out her business?
Mark:To bail out her business. Okay. Now he has flown all the way to New Zealand. Yeah. He's not two k right away.
Sarah:At least. He's not even covering his costs. I'm sorry. He's not.
Mark:Stay in a week in the hotel. That's another 2 k minimum. Yep. Okay.
Sarah:Are you basing the total winnings on how much Quentin said he lost?
Mark:Well, I I think she says there's 25 k in the bag or something.
Sarah:Okay. Because a lot of other people were putting down bets too. If Quentin lost 25 k, there were other bets too.
Mark:I I guess.
Sarah:But still, it can't I mean, it's it's half of it, so it can't be much. And 20 k most. I mean, that's not a that's not a lot to bail out of business.
Mark:And ginger pretend man
Sarah:says Pablo Picante.
Mark:No. No. Sorry. Not Pablo Picante. Oh.
Mark:I mean, the woman who pretends to be a man.
Sarah:Carla.
Mark:Carla. She puts in $8. They would have looked at that. It's not oh oh, it's just a roll. It must be $8.
Mark:People count things.
Sarah:Not rich people.
Mark:Oh, okay.
Sarah:No. Okay. Not rich people. Money's whatever. She could she could draw a a big bill and just put it on a stack of paper and they would go, oh, that's a
Mark:roll of money. And then we have the writers coming up with the most brilliant idea, which was all of the people who don't matter got on a charter bus and went back
Sarah:to wealth. In
Sarah:their horned helmets with their swords.
Mark:Because there was, like, 40 people in that room.
Sarah:And their bad porky pigeon pizza. Yeah. They just took off. Only the real characters suck around. When Ray comes in and he's like, hey.
Sarah:There's no gambling. I don't have a license for that. Pablo's like, bring on the police. Kill all the pugs.
Sarah:He
Sarah:is If you're gonna pretend to be Spanish, he's studying a
Mark:little bit. Yes. Hey. Isn't that the guy from the steampunk episode?
Sarah:So When when they question because so Ray's got the black eye. Right? Because he tried to run away from Pablo and ran into a door jam. He's not even lying. He did run into a door.
Sarah:When they question him, Sims is like, isn't it awfully sexist? And he's like, I'm not sexist. Both of my ex wives were women. And Trudy's like, oh my god. Get I
Mark:would like to tell you that my ex wife is also a
Sarah:woman. Congratulations. You're not sexist.
Sarah:I need to do a leak.
Mark:Gina is inviting people to an event.
Sarah:Rabid. Rabid. The Russian abandoned brides in district fundraiser. I guess because money heals a broken heart.
Mark:Does she mean rabbit?
Sarah:The flyer is pretty good, though.
Mark:It is a pretty good flyer.
Sarah:It's pretty well designed.
Mark:Yep. And we find out that he had a coin in his mouth, and it's definitely murder at that point in time.
Sarah:All the while, Sims, a detective, is trying to figure out whether Mike has a new relationship. She's just nosy.
Mark:Well, she's nosy and her her hypocrisy is put on display here. Yes. Because Chalmers asks almost word for word the same question she asked Mike.
Sarah:About her and Quentin?
Mark:Yeah. And definitely puts it out there that you're being a bit hypocritical. And what I love is Kristen does not pay any attention to that.
Sarah:No. Not at all.
Mark:No. Not a stitch.
Sarah:Not at all. It reminds me of one of my favorite characters in a book. She's an old lady, and she just loves to shove through big crowds and go, nosy person coming through. Excuse me, I'm nosy. I have to get through here.
Sarah:People just get out of her way. But Mike is is texting, right, with Beth Yes. His new lady.
Mark:And he lets Chalmers look because he doesn't know how to do an emoji.
Sarah:That kills Kristen.
Mark:He purposely asked Chalmers, first of all. Second of all Chalmers know how to do an emoji.
Sarah:He's holding the phone in his hand, so it would be obvious who he was texting. You can't compose a text without a two. And he says, it's my nephew or whatever. It
Mark:just has a number.
Sarah:But it's
Mark:I looked at the
Sarah:whole thing. That they say, just don't just don't use eggplants. And he goes, I like eggplants. And I immediately wrote down, so does reverend Green. Yes.
Sarah:And doctor Plummer.
Mark:Okay. Let's talk like eggplants. Let's talk about doctor Plummer or how I like to name him the death magnet.
Sarah:Yes. How
Mark:many times in this show has Doctor Plummer been like, I'm tangentially related to this, but I'm somehow lying or concealing something. So I look completely sus, but I'm absolutely innocent.
Sarah:Well, least this time it wasn't patient confidentiality. He was like, well, Carla was one of my patients. No. No. He's a horndog.
Sarah:Yes. He is absolutely preparing to cheat on reverend Green with John Ruby aka Carla. Comes home drunk. Fine. He walked.
Sarah:Okay. He wasn't doing anything bad at the spoofing event. But Except wanted
Mark:hit on a woman's
Sarah:He wanted to make out in the park with a stranger. Bad reverend plumber.
Mark:Who is a woman.
Sarah:No eggplant for you. Death magnet. He is awfully connected to death.
Mark:It just makes me feel bad for the rev. Yeah. You know? Because the rev is like, I'm glad that the rev goes, it's 02:30 in the morning. And you reek.
Mark:And you reek. You know? You're not getting in my bed.
Sarah:You need to make a leak.
Sarah:What do you make out of the way Sims deals with flirting with Quentin, pushing him away because he's a suspect, totally good. That's what she should be doing. But then how she handles it when she realizes he's not he's not a good guy.
Mark:I liked it except for his hat because I don't like his hat. He is charismatic, and it is never implied that she is interested in him for his money. That that is not even a thought.
Sarah:When he has the little have dinner with me note in his hand, it's really sweet.
Mark:It's it's very sweet.
Sarah:I would have gone out to dinner with somebody who did that.
Mark:He even says I could go to a cheap, uncomfortable place if you wanted to or something. That's fine too.
Sarah:Yeah. Yeah.
Mark:So I'm not saying he's not charming But he is a psychopath.
Sarah:Manipulative. The fact that he makes Vida pretend that she can't speak because she doesn't want to lie, and then basically bribes all of his friends to also pretend she can't speak, and they go along with it without him explaining why. Poor Yeah. Frodo. She tells him she's that she's a nun with a vow of silence who just happens to also be a chauffeur.
Mark:Like,
Sarah:have And he's so dumb.
Mark:They have to give Frodo at least a decent reason. Welsh is like, okay. I'm on board. Whatever.
Sarah:He knows he's living a lie too. Yeah. So he doesn't want anybody digging into that. Yeah. At least he gets some free tires out of it, Frodo does, because Vida does have some morals and feels bad.
Mark:Yeah. But okay. We're not even sure that she's his cousin. That's what he says.
Sarah:I think she is. Otherwise, she wouldn't cover
Mark:for it. She's then employed as his cousin. Okay. If I have $800,000,000 Yeah. Okay?
Mark:I have $800,000,000 now. We're close to billionaires. Yeah. And my cousins come to visit, I'm not gonna ask them to drive around.
Sarah:Right?
Mark:Even if they lived in the same town.
Sarah:You can be my chauffeur.
Mark:If I had $800,000,000 and my cousins lived in town, I would even go, not not second cousins, but first cousins. Right? Mhmm. Like my my mom's sister's kids.
Sarah:That's what a cousin is.
Mark:Yes. Yes. I would be if they lived in the same town and I had $800,000,000, your house and your car are paid.
Sarah:Maybe she likes being a chauffeur. Maybe it's what she's always wanted to do.
Mark:Maybe. But he treats her like crap. So
Sarah:I don't know. I think he's nice to her. Is he mean to her other than making her lie because he killed somebody?
Mark:You know? That was insane. Lie, And she says, what have you done? Yeah. Like, she recognizes right away.
Sarah:At least she doesn't say, you did it again.
Mark:At the same phone.
Sarah:Why do you hate Brad so much? The last one was a Brad. This is cultural harassment. It is kind of. When it says kill Oh, it's bugs.
Sarah:When it says kill all the bugs, oh, it must be Pablo because he can't can't spell pigs.
Mark:I love that they did this. I don't know if you noticed this. So okay. Let's go behind the scenes into Greenland a little bit. Ladies and gentlemen, the the set that is the interior of the cop shop is in no way related to the out tier outside of that building.
Sarah:Right. They're two
Mark:separate locations.
Sarah:They are
Mark:two separate locations. Yeah. The the location of the cop shop is inside of a big soundstage. Right. It's an interior
Sarah:We get it. Set.
Mark:Okay? Mhmm. They have painted on the way up the stairs. You can see out the windows the letters written on the outside of the building. Nice.
Mark:Continuity. It's continuity. They did a really good job. That is a good job.
Sarah:Yep. Why did Pablo write kill all the pugs, I smell bacon, when he is Australian?
Mark:Well, okay. I think he's
Sarah:the one who's culturally misappropriating things.
Mark:Oh, I think so too.
Sarah:He's the racist one because he's insinuating that people who are Spanish wouldn't know pigs from pugs.
Mark:And he's writing like he talks.
Sarah:Yes. Yes. Now I wish he'd come back in another episode, though. I like him so much.
Mark:He was inebriated. Okay?
Sarah:Yes.
Mark:And we've all done silly things when inebriated. Now, I've never vandalized a police station,
Sarah:but He does have to scrub it off while everybody watches. Yes. He gets his comeuppance. And I don't think Tane knows that he's really Dwayne. I think he's fooled them too.
Mark:Oh, he's totally fooled them.
Sarah:Because Tane looks at him like, you piece of trash.
Mark:Yeah. Tani does a good bit of acting there Mhmm. Where he's like, wait a minute.
Sarah:Though, I think he'll continue to be his friend and let him do
Mark:it. Maybe.
Sarah:Because it's his thing. He's like Banksy, you know? He's He's he's playing a part. It's his his character that he plays as an artist.
Mark:That extended art scene. They they do such a good job of it's just long enough to be funny, but not too long.
Sarah:Yeah. I love it. And I think the impression I get because of who he's hanging out with is that he's managed to create some kind of mystique around his art. So that black canvas might actually be valuable.
Mark:Yes.
Sarah:If people don't know that he's really Duane.
Mark:Yes. This is how he chooses a color.
Sarah:And then he collapses out love of his
Mark:face. Kills the breeze.
Sarah:Yeah. You
Mark:asked me about Sims and when she finds out The way she
Sarah:takes on Quinn.
Mark:That he's the killer. I think it's great. I think it's great that Mike is like, how do you wanna do this? Yeah. And she's like, let's
Sarah:Fire fire with fire. He says, I can't wait to watch.
Mark:So then Chalmers gets to play actor Yeah. And pretend to leave the station. I think it's a really good trick. I think so too.
Sarah:Plus, he looks super cool in the back seat.
Mark:And so we find out that Vida can
Sarah:she talk can can she talk, but she can spill the beans.
Mark:Yeah. She can spill the beans. And I think it's it's good that Vida is like, yeah. We're gonna tell you right away.
Sarah:Mhmm. Like think that was always her position is that she wouldn't lie. That's why he asked her to just be quiet, you know, because she was gonna be honest. Maybe she is a nun.
Mark:Maybe. Who does Sims offer the stale ginger nut to?
Sarah:I don't know.
Mark:It's a cookie. She offers it to somebody. I don't know. And I'm like, no. Pablo's not a stale ginger nut.
Mark:He's a full on crazy ginger nut.
Sarah:He's not stale. So then we get to the rabbit event.
Mark:Yes.
Sarah:Is Mike the only thing being raffled off to raise money?
Mark:I guess.
Sarah:Sorta. Maybe. They must have had other things they were raffling off too.
Mark:They they must
Sarah:be really lame.
Mark:It it's a fundraising thing, I guess.
Sarah:It's fundraising, not fundraising. They're not raising any fun. There's like five women at that table, the Russian women. Yep. So they're having a fundraiser to give money to five ladies who are sad, I guess.
Mark:I guess.
Sarah:Because they've been lured there for
Mark:no I like to think because friend of the show, Trudy, is not super in this episode, but she does make Ray tell the truth.
Sarah:Mhmm.
Mark:Right? Because she knows Ray's completely innocent. Right. So she's like, stop acting suspicious Ray and go tell them. Yeah.
Mark:Okay? I think Trudy rigs the contest because she knows that Gina wants to win? No. She knows that this is Mike's new friend.
Sarah:Oh. But Ray's the one who draw draws.
Mark:Yeah. But I think, like She put it in
Sarah:his hand and told him to pull it.
Mark:Well, no one ever sees the little ticket.
Sarah:Oh, that's true. He could say whoever he wants. He could say her number. It could have been any number. Right?
Mark:Yes.
Sarah:How do you how do you feel about how Gina handles meeting Beth and realizing girlfriend.
Mark:I love that Sims and Chalmers are like, okay. Here it comes.
Sarah:Yeah. Chalmers is getting ready to get up, and Sims grabs him and, like, sits him back down like, no. No. No. Get some popcorn.
Mark:It's it's
Sarah:gonna explode. Going anywhere.
Mark:Gina's head's gonna explode. Mhmm. I think that Gina does her best, but it is unexpected.
Sarah:Yes.
Mark:And she says the thing with the lady with the bear or a bear with the
Sarah:lady. Yes.
Mark:And I'm just like, those are the same thing.
Sarah:Have a viper tooth. Yes. For luck.
Mark:That tooth is way too big, but that snake is way poisonous.
Sarah:I don't know if the tooth is too big because it's set in a big piece of resin or something. The tooth in it is not that big.
Mark:Maybe.
Sarah:I don't wanna meet that snake.
Mark:Oh, that snake is not a good snake.
Sarah:I'm glad it lives in Siberia and not here.
Mark:It kind of lives all over
Sarah:Don't tell me that. Asia. Okay. I'm not going there anytime soon. I like the way Gina handles it.
Sarah:It's like she and Beth were competing, and Beth didn't know it. And she's like, you have won. Yes. I concede.
Mark:Yep. And I'm going to go drink vodka with my friends and not pout.
Sarah:Nope. Nope. Though, if we could fast forward to a few hours later, it might be different.
Mark:After a lot of vodka, it could be different.
Sarah:Gina might be ax throwing at
Mark:a tree of Beth or something. Flags off the entire country of The United States saying, oh, well
Sarah:They can't handle
Mark:their can't handle their liquor. Well known that they can't handle their liquor. Now I'm not saying that Americans are great at handling liquor. Look at Tennessee, Texas, and Florida.
Sarah:Florida, man. That's all you need to know.
Mark:But but wow. That just takes 300,000,000 people and places.
Sarah:It's a fun episode.
Mark:It is.
Sarah:I like Pablo a lot. I like that they introduced us to something we'd never heard of. Yes. That is a real thing. I'm not going to go to a spoofing tournament anytime soon.
Sarah:As a matter of fact, if I see a person in a jacket like that, probably a man in a jacket like that, I'm probably going to go the other direction. But it's a whole culture that we didn't know anything about. And did you you know, when something's a spoof, like it's a fake
Mark:Yes.
Sarah:That the game is first and that term comes from the game, not the other way around. Know that.
Mark:Yeah. I did not know that. Because there is a spoofing scene in a James Bond movie. Yeah. But, hey, try to look that up.
Mark:Yeah. You get James Bond spoofs.
Sarah:Yeah. You have to put in spoofing coin game James Bond.
Mark:I still could not see get to the scene.
Sarah:Oh, that's how
Mark:I found it. Okay. Now, there's one thing that we haven't dealt with Mhmm. Which is Chalmers
Sarah:You didn't like the hat. We know it.
Mark:No. Chalmers and Sims bet and I don't like that Chalmers tries to get out of it. So Chalmers Sims says that Mike is with the old friend Mhmm. Which he is not No.
Sarah:It's not Tanya.
Mark:It's not Tanya. And Chalmers says, it isn't. And then he how has he lost the bet then?
Sarah:That's why I don't think he's trying to get out of it. Okay. She's not able to prove Yeah. That Beth is the old friend. So he hasn't lost.
Sarah:Okay. But she hasn't won either. Yeah.
Mark:So maybe that'll reappear.
Sarah:Like the coffee does? She turns her back and Mike and Chalmers both put their mugs down like, thank God we don't have to drink this.
Mark:Okay. Instantaneously put their their mugs down. Things we haven't mentioned that, Three Coins in the Fountain is a name of a film. It's an Audrey Hepburn film I believe. And it is no.
Mark:Maggie McNamara stars in
Sarah:this film. Bet it's that era.
Mark:Yes. It's it's, you know, rich white people in Rome and in the sixties driving scooters and falling in love and saying, ciao. It's Roman holiday.
Sarah:Yeah. Ciao. Yes. That is Three Coins in a Fountain. Yes.
Sarah:Season eight episode four. We will be back in two weeks with season eight episode five.
Mark:So that is the September 1. Oh my gosh. The first of Oh,
Sarah:I know. It's Labor Day.
Mark:Oh, sweet Jesus.
Sarah:We'll be back then. Yes. And until then, kill the pugs. I smell bacon. Bye, maniacs.
Mark:Bye, maniacs. Thanks for joining us on the mystery maniacs podcast. If you enjoyed our crazy podcast today, don't miss out on future episodes. Follow us on social media for updates, beyond the scenes content, and exclusive sneak peeks. Subscribe, like, and share to spread the word.
Mark:Bye, maniacs. Uh-oh. Oh. Okay.
Sarah:We'll do that over again.
Mark:Bye.
