Ejecto-Funeral | Brokenwood | "Four Fires and a Funeral" | Mystery Maniacs Podcast EP248
Fair men at all in a funeral service would not be fair. Hey, maniacs.
Mark:Hey. What are we even doing here? Wow. No. We're back.
Mark:We're back. We're back and better than ever.
Sarah:Well, I wouldn't say that. Oh. I'm sure you can hear that we are still rather congested.
Mark:We are returning after a twenty eight day hiatus. Ugh. That hurts. Ugh. We're sorry.
Mark:Poor Sarah. I kinda go insane. The more days that we don't record a podcast, the more insane I go.
Sarah:He gets kinda twitchy and negative and he misses his fix.
Mark:Yep. So I But I do too. I I have definitely had better days this week. Yeah.
Sarah:We are really happy to be back and thank you for being patient with us while we endured being overwhelmed and then being plague ridden and everything else.
Mark:So I
Sarah:am so tired of being sick. I have been runny nose now for ten days. Nevermind the coughing, aching, run over by a truck feeling. Like I am done.
Mark:I am so sick and tired
Sarah:of is these things not supposed sick to and last this long.
Mark:Is this
Sarah:an age thing? Like as you get older, do colds last longer? Because it's not cool.
Mark:It's stupid.
Sarah:I'm done with it. I put my foot down. It's not out. You're evicted.
Mark:Mystery Maniacs is a comedy recap podcast dedicated to Mystery TV. Each week, we dig into an episode of the show including the murders, the mayhems, the loonies, the head colds, and everything else we love.
Sarah:This week's season eight, episode six of Brokenwood Mysteries, four fires and a funeral, the most poorly named episode that is a fun episode, but is poorly named.
Mark:Yes. I'm Mark.
Sarah:I'm Sarah. We'll go into that.
Mark:Wow. Okay. So being off for a month, every show in the universe dropped while we were gone.
Sarah:Well, all the ones that aren't dropping in October Yes. Dropped.
Mark:So I think the So we had
Sarah:things to watch while we were sitting around moaning and blowing
Mark:our noses. So coming up in September and October of most importance to us is that Acorn is now showing Poirot season one and six and nine through 13
Sarah:of The David Soucher Poirot. Yes. The early cases. The best one.
Mark:They call them the early cases and the later cases. And
Sarah:we Okay.
Mark:We have Do they
Sarah:hold back the middle cases? Or
Mark:Yes. Because remember those weird there's two seasons that are owned by other people.
Sarah:Know, but I was just like, the early and the late, like, what's left? The I guess the middle.
Mark:The middle that we don't own.
Sarah:But those are on Acorn now.
Mark:Yes. And we covered season one in episodes one ninety five to two twelve.
Sarah:What was that in 1998? When was that that we recorded the
Mark:It's a billion years ago. And episode one forty one was the Halloween episode that we covered because I love that one. We love that episode. I watched that. That's a comfort to me.
Mark:That episode, though.
Sarah:It's bad that Julian Rhein type manipulating young and old women is a comforting thing to
Mark:you. Yes. But Okay. It is. There's animal Bobby.
Mark:+1 48, we covered the Christmas episode. And one thirty three, one thirty four, and one thirty five were our favorite Poirot's from the first season.
Sarah:We'll put all of this in the show notes too. Yes. So if you I don't know. You've been living under a rock and you've not seen the David Suchet Poirot's, you should absolutely watch them. Yes.
Sarah:And if you're rewatching them after not seeing them for a while, you might wanna listen to our episodes afterwards because we rather like Poirot and we were pretty funny.
Mark:Speaking of Poirot, there's a new video game. Yes, I said video game that was released this week that I am going to download for the Switch and play sometime soon.
Sarah:You're doing it so we don't have to. Because it's disco Poirot.
Mark:She it is Murder on the Orient Express set in the nineteen seventies.
Sarah:There are afros and glittery eyeshadow
Mark:And dancing.
Sarah:And bell bottoms.
Mark:Yep. Poirot dances in the trailer of the the That's video game. So
Sarah:That's right out.
Mark:It's it's going to be interesting to see.
Sarah:And yet it has the blessing of the estate or would not exist.
Mark:I'm going to have fun with it is what I'm going to do.
Sarah:Expect a full report.
Mark:I I I will do that. Now the the big thing to talk about is murder before evensongs.
Sarah:I'm looking forward to seeing this.
Mark:Now did you read these books? No. They're by Richard Coles who is a comedian slash
Sarah:He scientist is. Is a presenter. Well, no. He he is actually a minister of some Yeah. Anglican maybe.
Sarah:I don't know.
Mark:I would it's part of the
Sarah:They call him reverend Coles when he's on a panel show. So
Mark:Yes. The Canon Canon Clement Clement.
Sarah:Books. Clement.
Mark:Yes. Clement. Yeah. And it stars Neville Longbottom or as we like to actually call him in his in his name, Matthew Lewis.
Sarah:Matthew Lewis is an example of someone who was an ugly duckling who is now swan. Yes. He went from being one of the ugliest, most buck tooth backward kid actors to being a rather handsome man.
Mark:Yes. So that starts on Acorn. This it starts the week of September 29 and then continues on for six episodes in October. And we will be watching it. It's set in the eighties, so we will be eagle eye watching to make sure they don't pick up a cell phone or something crazy like that.
Mark:In addition, we watched Marlowe Murders, the Marlowe Murder Club, which was on PBS last month. And this month, starting October 5, is the new young Magritte. So so there is
Sarah:Not the Rowan Atkinson No. Magritte, which is my favorite. No. Mister Beans Magritte.
Mark:So this is Magritte as a young man. Mhmm. I don't even know if he's in France. Well, he's gotta be in France because he's French, but we don't know if he's married or anything like that. But that starts on the October 5 and we've also been watching the new Lindley, which I actually like better than the old Lindley.
Sarah:I don't like it better. I like it too. Yes. Because I like the original a lot and and I like this one. And another one where sorry, baby.
Sarah:Eye candy. Yes. The new Linley is rather handsome.
Mark:Well, moves with his shoulders.
Sarah:I mean, the whole point of him is that he's rather handsome.
Mark:Yes.
Sarah:He's an aristocrat.
Mark:He's a handsome aristocrat who has a young DS helping him who is not a young good looking aristocrat. She's pretty? She's pretty.
Sarah:But Also, what's coming this month is the Midsummer Murders live shows.
Mark:Yes.
Sarah:And we hope to have some some folks in the audiences giving us reports about what it's like.
Mark:Yes. If if if you're there, take pictures. Send us reports.
Sarah:Take notes.
Mark:We'll definitely want to hear from you.
Sarah:Voice notes. Record yourself.
Mark:Oh, that would be fantastic.
Sarah:We'll set up a meeting. We'll put you on Zoom or whatever.
Mark:Record it.
Sarah:We'll figure it hear on the spot reporting
Mark:Yes.
Sarah:From maniacs who go and see Midsummer Murders stage play.
Mark:If you're new, they're doing Midsummer Live and it's the Murders That Badgers Drift. So we all know who did it and we all know what that involves, but Daniel Casey is
Sarah:You're assuming they don't change it?
Mark:Yes. I am assuming they don't
Sarah:change is playing Barnaby. Not Jones. Troy. Troy is playing Barnaby, thank you.
Mark:Troy is playing Barnaby. So
Sarah:One more kind of weird thing. This is actually well, we've done some recommendations here, but one more recommendation before we dive in that is a little bit off the beaten track. But I think people who like the shows that we like will love this. Yes. There's a show on Netflix called Crime Scene Zero.
Mark:Is it Crime Scene Demon Hunters? No.
Sarah:No. No. It's called Crime Scene Zero. Don't confuse people if they wanna find it. It's on Netflix.
Sarah:It is a Korean show that is somewhere between a murder mystery dinner party, a reality show
Mark:And a play.
Sarah:And a play. So they have actors who have roles to play. Yes. And they know their backstory, and one of them is the killer, but the other ones don't know who the killer is. The actors who are not the killer are not allowed to lie about their backstory, but the killer is allowed to lie.
Sarah:And they have to find clues and solve a murder. And it's really it's challenging, but it follows the rules. You see every clue they find. Yep. You are fully as informed as they are.
Sarah:And I was stumped.
Mark:It's like going to a murder mystery party without having to deal with people or food. Yeah. Or going there.
Sarah:Right. Right. You just get to watch other people do it. Yes. But it's really fun.
Sarah:It's called crime scene zero. Give it Yep. Give it a Give it a try. Watch.
Mark:Okay. Episode number six of season eight, four fires and a funeral, which is a reference to four weddings and a funeral.
Sarah:I get that, but they can't count.
Mark:No. Because we counted three fires and two funerals.
Sarah:Now, if you can find a fourth fire referenced, let us know. But we could only find three. And there's definitely two funerals.
Mark:There's definitely two funerals.
Sarah:For sure. We only attend one of them.
Mark:Originally, air date is the 07/25/2022, which doesn't seem so long ago, but also seems like in the before times still.
Sarah:It's not.
Mark:Michael Hurst directed this. Timothy Baum and a young man that we know, Nick Sampson wrote.
Sarah:Ginger Ranger.
Mark:Ginger Ranger. And you
Sarah:can tell that Nick Sampson wrote
Mark:There's some funny stuff.
Sarah:Funny. Yeah. There's some funny I mean, the funeral director, Warren, may as well be an ode. Yes. He's a cousin of
Mark:odes or something. I'm sure he's an ode cousin. So
Sarah:It's all about a fire a volunteer fire department.
Mark:Okay. I have a question. How did this Okay. There's two questions and they come together in this episode. First of all, we have discussed how the doctor is a death magnet.
Sarah:Doctor Plummer?
Mark:Yep.
Sarah:Yes. He's he's like Joyce, he shouldn't have any hobbies No. Because it just causes death.
Mark:So the death magnet in this episode now goes to the death location which is the golf course. How many people have died on this golf course?
Sarah:I wouldn't golf in Brokenwood.
Mark:Oh my
Sarah:get fertilizer tossed in your face. It's Or whatever it was. Plant killer.
Mark:So they're sides. Who knows? They're there to attend to an EMT situation, which is common for volunteer firefighters for small towns that have volunteer firefighters in them. They're first responders period. People forget that EMT firemen are also there's also a squad of EMTs usually for a fireman, fire fire brigade.
Mark:I know this is true because my brother-in-law Phil, who we call fireman Phil Mhmm. Really wasn't a fireman. He was an EMT for years.
Sarah:With the fire department.
Mark:With the fire department at the Calgary Airport. And really, where where that was interesting is they dealt with very few fires and a lot of EMT. Mhmm. So he he was actually a busy guy because of EMT stuff, but they barely did any fires because a fire at an airport is a really, really bad thing.
Sarah:These people spend a lot of time at the fire department as volunteers. Like, I I don't know how they have time for anything else. They seem to always be there, and yet they all have other jobs. So there's Steve, who is actually a firefighter. He's the only full time paid this is a spoiler podcast.
Mark:We're about
Sarah:to ruin it. Steve is the killer.
Mark:Steve is also bat crazy.
Sarah:Yeah. Well, he's got trauma. Yes. But then everybody else is a volunteer. So you've got Roger Plummer, who's the psychiatrist death magnet.
Sarah:Sean and Claudia, who apparently are fitness instructors or something?
Mark:Maybe. Are they just I guess.
Sarah:Hobbyist Yeah. Fitness people?
Mark:I'm not sure what they do.
Sarah:I don't know, but he's super buff.
Mark:Yes.
Sarah:Romilly, who's a hairdresser, and then Warren, who is the funeral director.
Mark:Yes. Who we saw before in the episode in which The
Sarah:Miss Scarlet episode with the Clue party
Mark:Yes.
Sarah:Where the body got lost. Yes. Yeah. That old sharp tack Warren. But now he's got a sidekick who's even worse than he is.
Mark:And, of course, they have a calendar because all fire departments have calendars.
Sarah:What was your impression of Rommelny pushing the calendar onto Kristen?
Mark:It felt like it was weird. It was like, you usually do those things to sell them
Sarah:to
Mark:get money for
Sarah:They're fundraisers.
Mark:Yeah. They're fundraisers. And she's just giving them away. It it I thought Rommelny was hitting on her. Yeah.
Mark:It felt Initially.
Sarah:Kinda hitting on. Yeah. But really she's going, you wanna see the photos of Steven here?
Mark:Yeah. Girlfriend. Now, Romilly is played by Laura Daniels who do you know where we last saw her? Mm-mm. She was in Taskmaster, New Zealand.
Mark:Oh, One of the seasons we watched, she was in that.
Sarah:It's fun. Yeah. So Warren, the funeral funeral director, Warren Bugle, happened to find a sidekick, horn blower.
Mark:Yeah. They're leaning into it here.
Sarah:They really I mean, the branding of the funeral home, the newly branded funeral home is great. Didn't even a time.
Mark:We're not really selling.
Sarah:But they've got their logo on everything, and they've got mugs and the t shirt and I mean they they they did a really good
Mark:job. I think it's a fun commentary on stuff that you can now brand easily But should that maybe you shouldn't brand.
Sarah:You should not easily. We also have a recurring character in Doug Yes. Who is Trudy's ex
Mark:whose barn burns down. But he wasn't there. It's not an insurance scheme because Doug was in the city at a Vincent van Gogh exhibit.
Sarah:This guy who whipped his own ear off in a hissy fit. I love Doug. Van Gogh's hissy fit. That's a name for a band right there.
Mark:Yeah. He says the the barn's full of borer. Do you know what that is? No. They're kinda like a termite insect.
Sarah:Oh, okay.
Mark:Yeah. Or it could have been those teenagers with their pot and their sex. They're always fornicating.
Sarah:That's all they ever do. At the same time, and I don't don't wanna walk through every plot point of this episode because that doesn't make any sense because people have watched it. No. So at the same time that we have the firefighters being called out, the reason why Kristen is even there at the golf course is that the uniforms, the massive number of uniform officers they have apparently in Brokenwood that we don't know about other than the two that we see in the station and Nigel upstairs.
Mark:Yes.
Sarah:Mysterious Nigel. Is there's a spate of burglaries going on Yes. That Chalmers is working on.
Mark:Which is a realistic crime for them to be working on.
Sarah:Brokenwood has a problem with weird burglaries though.
Mark:Yes.
Sarah:Like before it was taxidermy being stolen.
Mark:Yes. And now it's
Sarah:like ceramic dogs and watches and coffee carts.
Mark:Why is she stealing the ceramic dogs?
Sarah:She's stealing
Mark:Is there a market
Sarah:for that? No. Because she has lots of money apparently.
Mark:Yes. That's true.
Sarah:She's just a kleptomaniac apparently.
Mark:I guess.
Sarah:She needs the adrenaline rush. She can't do enough extreme sports, Mark. That's why she works out in the cemetery because you just never know.
Mark:You never know when someone could jump out and grab you.
Sarah:Yeah. Okay. But Chalmers has to drop the burglary investigation because of the murder, because of the body they find in the barn. Like, that's a priority.
Mark:That's a priority.
Sarah:That makes sense, I think.
Mark:He takes down his little robbery board and puts up the murder board.
Sarah:You can only imagine when there's non murder, what ends up on that incident board Yes. In Brokenwood because if it's worth putting photos of of stolen ceramic dogs up, like what others like jaywalking photos or, you know, a flasher
Mark:I have
Sarah:to on the incident board.
Mark:I have to think that small town crime A pickpocket. Is pretty not boring.
Sarah:Run of the mill.
Mark:But it's it's probably a lot of property related things and a lot of theft.
Sarah:It's a lot of nuisance?
Mark:Yep.
Sarah:Those kids when they're not fornicating or drinking, they're causing property damage. Yes. Or I know who did this. Yes. It's Dave.
Mark:Yes.
Sarah:Dave's been doing that kind of crime forever.
Mark:I there has to be like a kind of we know who's doing this, but we have to go through the motions to make sure that that person is doing it.
Sarah:Yeah. Because it could be a copycat. Could be. There could be a copycat nuisance property damage guy. You never know.
Mark:They made a mistake here when Mike and Sims go back to the station. You can clearly see that there's an equipment board with a defected loan log on it in the background that says Green Height, which is a region on the North Side Of Auckland. So this fire station is that fire station.
Sarah:Okay. I I was confused. I didn't know if you meant the police station or the fire station.
Mark:No. Meant the fire station. Okay. Sorry. Sorry.
Sarah:So there's some existing stuff in the fire station Yes. That gives away its actual location.
Mark:Yes. Okay. Their chainsaw is also not starting according to this bulletin board.
Sarah:Well, that's important.
Mark:If you want to help out the green height equipment defect and loan log, their chainsaw needs some help. Speaking of Green,
Sarah:Rev Green Yes. Has baguettes. Yes. His He bicycle basket.
Mark:He's so so this is where we see Samson's influence. Right? So he's there to tell them that he's not really happy with Hornblower as an embalmer.
Sarah:Because Because? Because he made reverend doctor Plummer's mom look like Henry Munster.
Mark:That is a bad embodiment. We've all If you make a little
Sarah:old lady look like Frankenstein, you did a bad job. We
Mark:we've all
Sarah:It's a style choice.
Mark:Yep.
Sarah:It's it's it's judgment. It's qualitative. Yes. I mean, if you've been to a funeral with an open casket, you know it's kind of strange. They really do do their best.
Sarah:Yeah. But what what happened to doctor Plummer's mom? Like, did she And when she get decapitated and had to sew her neck back on with great big stitches or what?
Mark:I don't know. And when doctor Plummer gets the chance to take the hearse back, he's like, oh,
Sarah:yeah. Sure. I'll take your
Mark:hearse I'll take your hearse back.
Sarah:So let's just talk about Warren and Dougal.
Mark:Okay.
Sarah:Okay. Dougal, a horn blower, is the embalmer.
Mark:Yeah.
Sarah:Warren is an idiot. I don't know how he puts his pants on in
Mark:the morning.
Sarah:They're both so So he's
Mark:let's get the Antarctica scheme out of the way first.
Sarah:When the police show up at the funeral home, Dougal says Warren isn't there. And you think, oh, he either isn't there or he's hiding. Like, he's guilty, so he's hiding because he's in the chiller. But he's not in the chiller because he's hiding from the cops. He's in the chiller because he's he's building up his cold tolerance.
Mark:That's not how that's not how Antarctica works because they're trying to get the they're trying to get the contract for Antarctica. So they do two things. They they spend time in the chiller, which is wrong.
Sarah:And they practice burials at
Mark:Then they practice burials at sea, which is basically a ejecto funeral. So they have a pretend body that they're practicing these burials at sea with. You don't bury someone at sea at the shore. Right?
Sarah:Okay. If you're working on an Antarctic exploration and scientific base, you don't bury people at sea.
Mark:No. It is well known that Antarctica is one of the driest places on
Sarah:You I would think if somebody died there, and I didn't look it up, but I would think if somebody died there, you would package them very well Yes. So they are animal proof, and put them outside somewhere safe until the next
Mark:Like in an outbuilding.
Sarah:Pick them up. Yes. Because it's already cold. It's already cold. You don't inject them out the back of a van into the water.
Sarah:How do you think they did that? You think there were people in the back of the van who shoved it real hard?
Mark:I think Nick Sampson was in the back of that van pushing that because that is clearly a vision he had for a scene.
Sarah:I want it to fly at least 10 feet before it starts to drop. It's like it's like greased up with Crisco or something, so it slides real fast out the back.
Mark:Well, all I know is I have new ideas for my end of day ceremony now. So the second thing about them is their names and their relation to their musical prowess.
Sarah:Bugle and Hornblower who are actually our saxon bass. Yes. So Which is another service they offer.
Mark:The funeral at the end. They are they become and it's clear that with the service we offer line, they're making fun of Midsummer here. They're and they're making some fun of the Rainbirds.
Sarah:Okay. Dennis Rainbird looks like a class act compared to these people. They're
Mark:are meant that like, there's a direct reference, I think.
Sarah:They do eco burials.
Mark:Yes.
Sarah:They're practicing burials at sea. Yes. And now they offer not a satin service. No. They offer musical accompaniment.
Mark:Yes. So this musical accompaniment is I I have in my notes perhaps the worst dirge ever played.
Sarah:Well, neither of them are good at their instruments. It makes the the wedding cake organist lady look really good Yes. That she can actually play a song.
Mark:Did you note that she she attempts to come in when they're playing and then stops herself? Never mind.
Sarah:No. I'm not joining the song.
Mark:So they play whole notes of atonal music. Right? So they're not in tune with each other.
Sarah:No. They have no rhythm either.
Mark:Well, they play at whole notes. That's all they play.
Sarah:That's what you do when you're learning
Mark:And
Sarah:because you just, like, get your fingers in the right place.
Mark:Do not forget that it is saxophone, bass, and bass drum.
Sarah:Mhmm.
Mark:So the the bass player is also playing kick drum with his foot. And it's played for great comedy, and it made me think what live band I would like at my funeral. And I think that we need to think of some ideas of worse instrument combinations.
Sarah:Yeah. Because sax and bass is not necessarily a horrible combination if they were both actually proficient at playing their instruments. Yes. I can imagine that you could play some some jazz or some funk. Something.
Sarah:So other worse instrumental combos? Is that what you're saying? Yes. Well, certainly like harp and theremin Harp be pretty bad.
Mark:That would be rough.
Sarah:He'd get the theremin and at all in a funeral service would not be good. No. For reference, theremin is the instrument that the Midsummer Murders theme song is played on. Yes.
Mark:An instrument that is played by not touching it.
Sarah:Right. So By being near it. Yes.
Mark:Oh, no. Really? Mouth harp and anything else. That
Sarah:thing?
Mark:Yes.
Sarah:What you put in your mouth? That's not classy. No. But the absolute worst or best instrument you could play for a funeral service has got to be slide flute.
Mark:Like slide whistle? What? Would make graveside service. Very interesting.
Sarah:You ought to insert a slide whistle right here.
Mark:Just Now lay William to rest. Meanwhile, Marks in the background with his mouth are I
Sarah:think steel drum would probably not be that good. Well, don't know. It's hard to play sad music on a steel drum.
Mark:It is hard to play sad music on a steel drum, but.
Sarah:Now I'm just trying to think of somebody playing like, you know the funeral march, but on a slide whistle. How that would sound, I don't. I can't even rather
Mark:write it
Sarah:on that.
Mark:We have a slide whistle somewhere in the house.
Sarah:All of those combinations would not be, none of them would be as bad though as Warren and Dougal.
Mark:Yes. Okay. So accordion's another instrument that maybe is not the best one.
Sarah:You could play sound music on an accordion.
Mark:You could. It's like bagpipes. Bagpipes can work at some funerals.
Sarah:They're at a lot of funerals. Alright. I I want a definitive answer from you
Mark:Okay.
Sarah:On the following question.
Mark:Okay.
Sarah:Doogle, awkward creep or awkward creep? You can choose one. Do not qualify your answer. Awkward creep or awkward creep. Okay.
Sarah:That's all you can choose.
Mark:I'll get to my answer.
Sarah:No. No. No. Choose. I'm gonna say Creep?
Sarah:Yes. Okay.
Mark:So what we're talking about is Dougal's interactions with his object of affection. Gina. Which is Gina. Formaldehyde, formaldehyde, formaldehyde. That's all they talk about.
Sarah:So you think he's just a creep?
Mark:I think that he is a really socially awkward
Sarah:No. No. No. No. So you just changed your answer.
Sarah:You went with awkward creep.
Mark:No. No. He's a creep. He breaks into the morgue and lies on the table and pretends to be dead, calls Gina in and then shows her flowers. I utterly disagree with you.
Mark:Oh.
Sarah:I think he is just awkward. I actually think he's kind of sweet and he kinda has Gina's number. I mean, let's think about who who he's trying to sweet talk. It's Gina.
Mark:Yes.
Sarah:Okay? Gina who
Mark:He keeps sending me pictures of his organ.
Sarah:Gina who shows up in Mike's office with meat cutting markings on her body. Okay? I know. Gina who talks in detail about how Russian assassins will take people out and enjoys it. Gina, who wears a snake fang in a necklace, like, he's learning Russian to talk to her.
Sarah:Did you Do you see the light in her face when he when he says, and she's like because Yeah. She thinks he can actually speak Russian, and she is thrilled.
Mark:Is thrilled. I do understand that, but I just I think if he wasn't a creep, he would think things through better.
Sarah:I think he's just awkward. I think with a little coaching, he could win her over.
Mark:Sims goes so easy on him. I'm like, oh, put him in jail.
Sarah:That's more reason for me to think that he's just awkward.
Mark:But then Sims is also like, proof, evidence, whatever. We don't need that stuff anymore. Sims is like almost at the end of a rope.
Sarah:I love that DuBois comes out to the waiting room in the funeral home with the rubber apron and gloves on, like doesn't think anything of it. See, more evidence that he's just awkward. He's not a bad person. He's not nefarious. And when he realizes that he's made a mistake, you know, with with Gina, he accepts it.
Sarah:He's like, well, I yeah. I know that now.
Mark:Well,
Sarah:yeah. I think he actually does want to improve his technique.
Mark:I'm not sure if he knows what a frying pan in a fire is. Well,
Sarah:more evidence that he knows he really screwed up breaking into the mortuary to surprise her because he doesn't even want to admit that he did it. Yeah. But Gina is showing up in the cemetery to talk to Sims about it, dressed like a Russian spy. She looks great. Yes.
Sarah:But she does stand out.
Mark:She is like I love how Sims is like, you could have come to the station and talked about this.
Sarah:Dressed like a normal person Yes. Instead of like Natasha of the SS. Let's talk about another problem with this episode. Okay. Speaking of Sims and her evidence.
Mark:Yeah.
Sarah:That less than a square inch of fabric they find on the body is not enough to say, that's firefighter's uniform. No. That could have been a pair of Carhartts.
Mark:Yeah. They they needed a little more than that. Like Plus, wouldn't his boots be there? Like, that's what I think
Sarah:Or at least melted into a puddle on his feet.
Mark:Yeah. Like, would think that they would probably be rubber? Yeah. More likely.
Sarah:I think they would be like asbestos lined boots. They'd be fireproof. Some part of his uniform would have been fireproof.
Mark:Yeah. You would think that it should be fireproof.
Sarah:Maybe he didn't have the boots on. We don't see his feet reenactment of his death, so maybe he's just got the pants and jacket on. I do find it interesting though. So I don't know if we've mentioned this. We watch Time Team to fall asleep at night, and they are often doing archeological digs in Roman and Anglo Saxon sites where they had inhumation burials, so they cremate the body first.
Sarah:Yes. And just last night, I heard an archaeologist say, well, there's cut marks on these bones, but we don't think they stripped the body of the skin and meat before they cremated it, because bones by themselves won't burn. You actually need the fuel of the body, the fat of the body, to get the temperature up enough to cremate bones.
Mark:Why, yes, I do have nightmares. Why do ask?
Sarah:So fat people cremate better. That's the that's the moral Wow.
Mark:Let us also talk about the worst haircut ever.
Sarah:Poor Samantha. Samantha, who comes to say her grandmother is being threatened by Warren and his flyers, and then gets cornered into lying for Romilly and gets a horrible bang cut at
Mark:the Oh same my gosh. The fringe is just incredibly bad. Poor Samantha. And Romilly is the worst liar of all time. So she says that she was a shot putter at The Rio Olympics.
Mark:The Rio Olympics. Now, I don't know if you've ever watched shot put at the Summer Olympics. I have.
Sarah:I've thrown shot put. Yes. For real.
Mark:You've
Sarah:thrown Not at the Olympics.
Mark:You've thrown shot put
Sarah:In high school.
Mark:For real. I've watched the Olympics shot put because Canadians actually do very well in this sport. So it's a it's a summer sport that I enjoy watching and I think this is a Valerie Adams nod. So who's Valerie Adams? She is the woman who placed second.
Mark:She won the silver medal in shot put in Rio who is from New Zealand.
Sarah:Oh.
Mark:So it's kind of one of those goofs where you kind of are like, well, I kinda did it because I'm from New Zealand too. Yeah.
Sarah:The the actress who plays Romilly is a good actress because it can't be easy to act as a character who is a bad liar. Yes. That's gotta be hard to
Mark:Like, you know right away that she's lying. Yeah. So this Valerie Adams woman is incredibly interesting. Not only she's a huge ambassador for the sport and women's sport. There's that aspect of what she's doing as well.
Mark:But her family has 18 children in it. She's one of 18 siblings? One of 18 Wow. Siblings. And they're all professional athletes.
Sarah:No wonder she took up shot. She probably wanted to throw things at her siblings all the time.
Mark:Yeah. And she has one sibling who has cerebral palsy who is also a Paralympic champion.
Sarah:Of course.
Mark:Like, that family
Sarah:You can't beat
Mark:that got one up early and did stuff all the time.
Sarah:If you were a parent of 18 kids, wouldn't you get them organized to do something? Yeah. Like, would have made them into their own soccer team or something. You're you play both sides. We have both teams.
Sarah:Their parents must have been exhausted. I can only imagine. Their mother must have been broken. You deliver 18 kids. Yeah.
Sarah:No. Yeah. Warren is so dumb. I don't know how he runs a business. I love that he says, it's so if if if Nick Sampson Yeah.
Sarah:I always want to say Simpson. If Nick Sampson wrote the scene where Warren is being interrogated and talking about his grandpa Janine
Mark:Yes.
Sarah:It is so good. I'm so bad with names. My grandpa Janine was bad with names too, like.
Mark:No, his name was Max. My uncle's name was Janine.
Sarah:Yeah. And his flyers, you're gonna die and I'll be there when it happens.
Mark:It's an advertisement.
Sarah:When I taught marketing, some of my students would come up with stuff like that, and I would be like, okay. I just want you to read that again. Just read it again as if you didn't write it, and think about it.
Mark:Yep.
Sarah:Is that how you want to say that?
Mark:I gotta say that maybe our other favorite business that isn't the frog and cheetah is maybe not run by
Sarah:the smartest individual either because Brokenwood, where morons can run businesses. Frodo
Mark:Is has a Frodo's cart stolen? Frodo must have
Sarah:the biggest bladder in the universe. You can only assume he turned his back
Mark:Frodo's big bladder is the name of the episode.
Sarah:He turned his back on his cart to have a pee and peed for such a long time that Claudia was and loudly. It must sound like a fire hose.
Mark:Yes.
Sarah:Speaking of firefighters. Like, like his feet must lift off the ground when he pees. Because she backed up a car
Mark:A truck likely.
Sarah:Yeah. To his coffee cart, closed the doors and the windows and all of that. Took the blocks away from the tires, hooked up the trailer hitch
Mark:Yep.
Sarah:And drove it away. And how did no one see her doing it?
Mark:And why couldn't she have done this in the middle of the night and Frodo shows up and he has no coffee? Like, that still makes sense.
Sarah:If she's stolen it from his house Yeah. Maybe. Well, no.
Mark:Do you think he takes it home every night or he leaves it in the park?
Sarah:I think he takes it home every Well,
Mark:then, yeah, steal it out of the dry oh, it's been in the driveway before when his not girlfriend was there.
Sarah:Yeah. Yeah. Kimmy. Yes.
Mark:Claudia is like even Maybe she lifted it up by herself and just ran away with it because
Sarah:she's so buff. She she hid it under her coat so nobody saw her taking it. Like, Frodo's dumb, but he's not like deaf and blind. And all I can think of is is he must pee like a horse because it drowned out the sound of her.
Mark:And then he has to go again. But that whole scene is to make us like Beth even more because Beth likes Frodo and gets Frodo the way Mike likes
Sarah:He has sympathy for Frodo. And I can only think that the reason why somebody hasn't said, oh, I saw Claudia driving Frodo's coffee cart away, is that he hasn't reported it yet. So they haven't asked for, you know, people who witnessed it.
Mark:Frodo is both intelligent at times and then incredibly dumb at other times. Now he's the smartest toads. We're we know that. But that's
Sarah:That's not a claim to fame.
Mark:It's not a claim to fame.
Sarah:You shouldn't brag about, I'm smarter than Warren. So
Mark:this is a Mike and Beth episode and Mike and Beth get closer together, they're obviously in a relationship, she's cooking food for him, he's getting the good wine for her, it's it's lovey dovey in in Brokenwood, but then the specter of marriage comes up. So Mike says earlier in the episode that he doesn't want to get married again, which a man being married five or six times, four or five times, sorry, I can understand that. Now, your sister who's trying to set a world record.
Sarah:She's done now.
Mark:She's done now, but
Sarah:Seven. Yeah. It's hard to remember all my brother in law's names.
Mark:Yes. So, but it's understandable that he might be reticent to get married.
Sarah:Not to commit. He seems to be willing to commit. Yes. But marriage as a I don't know. As a symbol, just it hasn't been good for him.
Mark:And basically, Beth asked him to get married at the end. And should see the end of the season.
Sarah:Dun dun dun.
Mark:Dun dun dun.
Sarah:It's a cliffhanger.
Mark:Now she's in three more episodes so we know she returns but we also know she's not married to Mike.
Sarah:No. So Let's talk about Sean and Claudia. We talked about Claudia being the burglar.
Mark:Yes.
Sarah:Let's talk about Sean. He who is what? He's buff? Yep. He's tattooed?
Mark:Wears a nice watch?
Sarah:And
Mark:he's also lower?
Sarah:Yeah. So he's got the letter jacket. Like a like a horse city jacket, and it says lower on the back.
Mark:Lower what? But if you look
Sarah:at it close, it looks like there's periods between some of the letters, like maybe it's an acronym.
Mark:I did think that too.
Sarah:But it still doesn't make
Mark:any sense know what's going on?
Sarah:May it can't be that there's like an Upper and Lower Brokenwood. There can't be two high schools
Mark:in Brokenwood. There's not two high schools in Brokenwood. Know that there's one high school in Brokenwood because it appears in a later episode.
Sarah:And even then, wouldn't it say like LB, like Lower Brokenwood?
Mark:Or something.
Sarah:Right? It's not a brand name. Is it Lowther. Is it that their high school is so supportive that even the kids in the bottom 50% get a letter jacket? But it's Now They're like, you should be proud of who you are no matter how you achieve on this test.
Sarah:So much so that if you are in the lower 50% of your class, we're going to give you a jacket. But I It says lower.
Mark:I accidentally killed my friend with a fondue fork. You're in the lower. Yes.
Sarah:Own it. Yes. Yeah. Okay. It's like if he had a jacket that said delinquent.
Mark:Loser. Upper. Which we like, I almost wanna see later Sims have an upper jacket, because she would clearly have an upper jacket.
Sarah:Yeah. She would definitely be in the upper. Yeah. Hers would say like, up uppest. Uppest.
Sarah:Uppest. We haven't even mentioned the I mean, we've mentioned there was a murder in the barn. Yes. But that's Warren. Yes.
Sarah:And I'm sorry, not Warren. Martin. Yes. Who is the first victim. Then Steve decides to try to kill Doctor.
Mark:Plummer And found by friend of the show, Tracy.
Sarah:Trudy. You want say that again?
Mark:No, no. Tracy.
Sarah:The actress's name is Tracy. Yep. You have to cut me now. Discovered by Trudy, saved by Trudy. Yeah.
Sarah:Why doesn't Plummer just get out the passenger I mean, realize he's been hit on the head, but
Mark:Well, he's been choked He's
Sarah:been choked. That's right. He could just get out the other side.
Mark:So, Mr. Plummer, Doctor. Plummer goes to the chief's house and says, the chief explains to him what happened. And, the doctor quite rightly says, a, I don't want your job because it's causing problems in my marriage.
Sarah:Mhmm.
Mark:And b, you just committed you committed a crime, a serious crime.
Sarah:And you just confessed to me.
Mark:And you confessed to me, I have to go tell the police.
Sarah:Does do you think Steve thinks that when he confesses to doctor Plummer that doctor Plummer can't report it? I think he thinks that. Because of confidentiality? Yeah. Yeah.
Sarah:That's not the case.
Mark:You're a criminal. Yeah.
Sarah:It's priests also have to report it. Like, if you if you confess a crime to a priest, they they have to report it.
Mark:So that that becomes a problem with doctor Plummer in the car because I'm like, poor rev green. He's having a tough episode. He and plumber should move. They should.
Sarah:They should move away. Like I said, plumbers shouldn't have any hobbies.
Mark:Yes.
Sarah:You should not be allowed to have any hobbies.
Mark:But they do end up positive and loving and together at the end of the episode in a way that we like.
Sarah:Mhmm. The the whole idea that Steve thinks a good way to get rid of Plummer is to make it look like he committed suicide in the hearse
Mark:That's not his hearse.
Sarah:He's not thinking straight. No. Steve's not thinking straight.
Mark:Steve I understand Steve has had some trauma. So there was a fire in which children and parents died, and he is having trauma related to that.
Sarah:And primarily because Steve chose to rescue a drunk fellow firefighter over the family, which he should not have done.
Mark:They are all having trauma over this event. Which I'm sure
Sarah:is is quite realistic. Yes. And it it's good that Plummer has been doing their talking circles and giving pro bono therapy. And
Mark:Rommelny and Sean going to karaoke is actually a really positive thing.
Sarah:Mhmm.
Mark:The fact that he's doing it on wife's nights that his wife is out thieving is maybe not the best.
Sarah:Well, you know, they have separate lives.
Mark:I guess so.
Sarah:Their hobbies are separate. They It's okay. You don't have to spend every
Mark:night together. And also that karaoke scene is fantastically two people standing in a room with blinking lights.
Sarah:On a couch Yes. With disco balls. Yes. I have a confession. Yes.
Sarah:When I'm when I tell you I'm in the garage working on Halloween Yes. I'm actually burglarizing people.
Mark:Why do you produce Halloween decorations then?
Sarah:It's it's hard. I have to do both.
Mark:Oh, okay.
Sarah:I can I can make Halloween much faster
Mark:than Are I you stealing good stuff? Because I can No. I could provide you a list.
Sarah:No. Just stupid things.
Mark:Doll dog figurines.
Sarah:Yeah. Stuff I use in Halloween decorations. I'm stealing PVC pipe and screws from people.
Mark:By the way, a reason to follow us on Instagram and join our Instagram podcast channel. You got special little pictures of me and Olive going to pick up the kids at work. Olive
Sarah:At the Spirit Halloween store.
Mark:And Olive was very happy to be out and inspecting the whole parking lot.
Sarah:Rommelie is a hairdresser who owns her own salon. Yes. And the salon is called Hair She Blows.
Mark:Hair She Blows.
Sarah:With a z.
Mark:Hair salon seemed to be prone to the pun name. Shouldn't our place be more piratey? I maybe?
Sarah:Hair she blows. Like, she should have an eye patch on.
Mark:Okay. There's no one else there.
Sarah:It's hard to cut hair with a hook.
Mark:Poor Sam is a little trapped. So I don't sure Romilly's doing the best. And and Sims is like, oh, I get my hair across town by this other lady. And Romilly's like, oh, yeah, that makes sense.
Sarah:Yeah, I would go to her too. I think hair salons are prone to punny names because it doesn't really hurt their business. You don't want to have a punny name for like medical care or food or something. But it's kind of low stakes, I sort went looking for really bad punny names for hair salons.
Mark:Do you wanna hear a couple that I found?
Sarah:These are the worst ones I found. Snip happens. Some of these actually make it sound like some place you don't wanna go to get your haircut. Like hair razors.
Mark:Yeah. That I don't need my hair raised.
Sarah:Lunatic Fringe. I like that one. It's a punky place. Yep. It's in London.
Sarah:Sherlock Combs?
Mark:No. No. Sure.
Sarah:No. I don't wanna go there either. Curl up and die?
Mark:I kinda like that.
Sarah:D Y e? Yep. But still it doesn't sound like you're gonna come out looking better. This is a real place in Chicago. Okay?
Sarah:Okay. It's called die for your beliefs. D y e for your beliefs.
Mark:I wanna see a sign of that. Somebody in Chicago, and I know
Sarah:we You have can find it on the internet. It exists. I found it on Atlas Obscura.
Mark:Oh, okay.
Sarah:I wanna see the list of other names that they considered.
Mark:That that's a bad name. Barbarella. Barbarella.
Sarah:I like that. Yeah. If you're a woman and you have a barber salon
Mark:Yeah.
Sarah:I I like that. Julius Scissor.
Mark:It's not bad.
Sarah:And then there is Jack of All Fades. Nice. Again, it's a reach.
Mark:Yep. It is totally a reach.
Sarah:All of them are better than Hair She Blows. Hair She Blows.
Mark:So Steve tries to kill the doctor again in the hospital, and we get the the scene of Beth being told not to act and acting.
Sarah:She has to. She has to. Mike can't get there fast enough.
Mark:No. And we know Chalmers can't get in the car
Sarah:to get there. We're can't commandeer a smart car. I mean, we're we're lucky that Plumber is no longer on the ventilator because that would have made it a lot easier. He could just like
Mark:Turn off the ventilator.
Sarah:Squeeze the tube. Yeah. It's a weird hospital where every patient has their own nurse assigned to them.
Mark:And windows to look in Into the room.
Sarah:I don't want to be at that hospital.
Mark:But we've seen that hospital set several times.
Sarah:Oh, is the hallway that is the hospital. Yes. That is the whole hospital is that hallway.
Mark:And Johnny Hodes was in that room.
Sarah:Everybody's in
Mark:that Yeah.
Sarah:Then, you know, when I see footage of British hospitals where they have common wards, where they have like eight people in the same ward, I think, ah, no way. Can't Yeah. No. Private room, thank you. That's the standard in The US.
Sarah:But that's why we pay so much more and more
Mark:on this matter for We're not to about that.
Sarah:I love that Mike says, good luck with the Antarct job. I sincerely hope you both end up going. Like, please get out of Brokenwood, you two dummies. Bugle and Hornblower together sitting side by side like, yeah. We're going in for this contract.
Sarah:Yep. The two of them together are dumber than each of them alone.
Mark:And I I like how Mike says Beth shouldn't have done that, but then says she's kinda proficient with the fire extinguisher.
Sarah:Again, if she hadn't, Plumber would be dead.
Mark:Yes. She saved Plumber's life.
Sarah:Yeah. Jesus was my carpenter, a tradesman up on high. Green does his absolute best at that funeral at the end.
Mark:I think that's a real song. I think it is.
Sarah:I don't know. I couldn't find it. It doesn't mean that it's not. The the Jesus was a carpenter thing is in a lot of songs. Yeah.
Sarah:But not the word It's
Mark:not the if it's not in the Anglican hymn book, it's not one of their songs.
Sarah:It doesn't count.
Mark:Yeah. The hymn book that has four tunes and 300 songs.
Sarah:Does Rev Green come across as somebody who doesn't actually know the Bible during that series?
Mark:Oh, a little bit. He knows his Joni Mitchell, but
Sarah:Or maybe he just doesn't think that it's appropriate. Like Yeah. He just loses the quote that he was reaching for and just went to Joni Mitchell. But they they pay Paradise and put up a parking lot isn't I don't know.
Mark:And the song it's a personal thing. But that song is called Big Yellow Taxi.
Sarah:Mhmm.
Mark:Right? And I understand why a lot of people gravitate to the line, they pave paradise and put up a parking lot. It is a perfect line to understand the problems of urban sprawl and environmentalism. Mhmm. The song has nothing to do with that.
Mark:No. The song is about her old man leaving her. That it's a romantic breakup song. It has nothing to do with the environment. And I hate when people only center on that line because that song is full of other great lines.
Sarah:Don't know what you got till it's gone.
Mark:Don't know what you've got till it's gone. It is a metaphor of what is happening in her life. And I realize that that it's a great line about environmentalism. I do. I understand all of that.
Mark:But it is a breakup song, not an environmental anthem. Sorry.
Sarah:Are you done? Yes. Soapbox, put away? Yes. Okay.
Sarah:No, I'm not disagreeing with you, but what did they not know that they had before it was gone with Martin?
Mark:I I don't I don't know.
Sarah:They had a bad firefighter
Mark:who's Who was drunk already.
Sarah:Who was an alcoholic and has a horrible mustache. That's what they had. Yes. And now he's gone.
Mark:And a bad tattoo. Don't forget his Oh, yeah. Horrible tattoo.
Sarah:I think they knew exactly what they had
Mark:Yeah. I think so.
Sarah:Before he was gone. Now, Steve shouldn't have killed him. No. Let him die. No.
Sarah:But yeah, I think they know what they had. I love that Sean and Rommelier sitting together at the funeral at the end Yes. Without Claudia Yes.
Mark:Because she's in jail.
Sarah:She's in jail for burglaring half the town. I didn't even notice that coffee cart under that tarp. She's also good with a tarp.
Mark:Yeah. That that's a fun funeral of people acting with their faces.
Sarah:Mhmm.
Mark:Because Mike a couple of times is like, oh, maybe not say that.
Sarah:Yeah. Poor poor Rev. He's doing his best.
Mark:Yep. And so in season eight of Brokenwood Mhmm. We're left with not knowing if
Sarah:Beth and Mike are gonna be married.
Mark:We know Chalmers returns. We know Sims returns. We know the odes returns. So all that is good.
Sarah:Steve and Claudia are gonna go to jail? Yes. Are Bugle and Hornblower gonna stay at business?
Mark:I don't know if we see them again, but if they do, they'll be up to something trying to make their business. Like, it's tough as a small business person. I realize that completely.
Sarah:But they're one of like two funerals, funeral homes in all of Brokenwood.
Mark:But funeral homes have traditions for reasons.
Sarah:Yes. It's not really an innovative
Mark:You don't want a neon sign of Business. Like one of those blow up blue men.
Sarah:The guy who waves around.
Mark:Yeah. Yeah. That's not going out in front of the funeral home.
Sarah:Don't try a theremin or a slide whistle during the ceremony.
Mark:Remember, don't golf in Brokenwood.
Sarah:No. And don't go golfing.
Mark:Our next episode will be season nine episode one Brokenwood the musical. Oh, it's a good one.
Sarah:It's a really good start to a season
Mark:And for I think now that we've watched these in so much detail, I think we're gonna notice stuff in that musical that we may have not noticed before that are references to other episodes. Absolutely.
Sarah:So Yeah. So until then, keep an eye on your coffee cart.
Mark:It's spooky season, folks. Happy Halloween.
Sarah:It's coming. It's coming. Bye, maniacs.
Mark:Bye, maniacs. Thanks for joining us on the mystery maniacs podcast. If you enjoyed our crazy podcast today, don't miss out on future episodes. Follow us on social media for updates, beyond the scenes content, and exclusive sneak peeks. Subscribe, like, and share to spread the word.
Mark:Bye, maniacs. Bagpipes and dubstep.
